Three MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• Long Island police spent the past month hauling in over 220 suspected gang members, scooping up about a dozen guns, drugs, cash and a machete. Plus, a big-game crossbow. Moose and elk in the New York area are feeling much safer now.
• Al Sharpton led Texas cops on a 9-mile chase at speeds of up to 110 mph. There can only be one explanation: beauty salon appointment.
• Nielsen Media Research has dramatic new TV viewership figures thanks to its innovative people-meter system. Given the controversies surrounding the company’s minority data, it will be interesting to see revised numbers for Blacks and Hispanics. Perhaps we’ll learn that NBC didn’t have to cancel Whoopi after all.
Tuesday, August 30, 2005
Essay 130
Your fifteen MultiCultClassics Minutes of fame are up…
• According to a recent report in The Economist, “The Department of Justice estimates that one black man in three will go to jail at some point during his life — more than five times the rate for white men.” Also, “in 2002 blacks were seven times more likely than whites to commit murder.” Hope the proofreaders at the British publication were smoking crack during the writing of that story.
• Here’s another quote from Kanye West: “Black people can be the most conservative, the most discriminating. Especially among ourselves.” Damn, this guy must have worked in advertising.
• Look who we’ve got our Hanes on now. Law enforcement experts are seeing a new trend in gang gear. Colors are out. Plain white T-shirts are in. Wonder if it was all inspired by the commercial with Michael Jordan and Matthew Perry.
• Police are still on the lookout for the person who shot Suge Knight in Miami. Despite the teeming party crowd, no one seems to be willing to offer much information. The suspect was a Black male wearing a pink T-shirt. Which means it probably wasn’t gang-related (see above). And the last brotha in Miami wearing pink T-shirts was Philip Michael Thomas.
• According to a recent report in The Economist, “The Department of Justice estimates that one black man in three will go to jail at some point during his life — more than five times the rate for white men.” Also, “in 2002 blacks were seven times more likely than whites to commit murder.” Hope the proofreaders at the British publication were smoking crack during the writing of that story.
• Here’s another quote from Kanye West: “Black people can be the most conservative, the most discriminating. Especially among ourselves.” Damn, this guy must have worked in advertising.
• Look who we’ve got our Hanes on now. Law enforcement experts are seeing a new trend in gang gear. Colors are out. Plain white T-shirts are in. Wonder if it was all inspired by the commercial with Michael Jordan and Matthew Perry.
• Police are still on the lookout for the person who shot Suge Knight in Miami. Despite the teeming party crowd, no one seems to be willing to offer much information. The suspect was a Black male wearing a pink T-shirt. Which means it probably wasn’t gang-related (see above). And the last brotha in Miami wearing pink T-shirts was Philip Michael Thomas.
Monday, August 29, 2005
Essay 129
Desperately seeking the essence of a decent concept in the latest issue of Essence…
Kelly Rowland is working it for Soft Sheen • Carson, hawking Dark and Lovely’s new Color Flash. Five pages later, she’s hyping Dark and Lovely’s Moisturizing Relaxer. Let’s hope the products deliver as advertised, or Kelly’s next hair gig will be for Rogaine. Ironically, appearing between Kelly’s ads is a L’Oréal spread featuring Beyoncé. L’Oréal is the parent company of Soft Sheen • Carson. Looks like poor Kelly still hasn’t made the spokesperson A-list.
Tampax Pearl presents a sistah at her yoga class with the headline, “Who would have thought a tampon could get me to that Zen place?” That’s quite a stretch for even a Master Yogi. Don’t mean to get crude, but a tampon ad shouldn’t have body copy that also exclaims, “Whoa, the blood’s rushing to my head.”
Royal Caribbean International continues to display some of the worst Photoshop compositing around. And some of the worst photos too. The tagline is, “Get out there.” It should be shortened to, “Get out.”
Toyota Corolla rolls in with more questionable Photoshop compositing. A brotha and his hot ride are superimposed over a variety of tickets for entertainment and sporting events. The headline states, “Fun is where you find it.” Wasn’t sure about the relevance here, unless Toyota’s targeting scalpers. Then later in the magazine, American Express Gold Card brags, “it gets you prime seating to many of the most sought-after shows, concerts, and sporting events.” OK, now it all makes sense. Black folks love entertainment and sporting events.
Levi Strauss Signature Jeans offers the obligatory girlfriends get-together, with laughing ladies huddled around the piano. Coca-Cola pours out another girlfriends get-together, with a spirited birthday bash. Family get-togethers are staged by American Airlines (with Grandma serving her traditional pound cake), Vanity Fair Napkins (with Mama serving Chinese takeout) and Tyson meat products (with everyone celebrating at the family barbecue).
Three advertisers attempt to flaunt their commitment to education. “Hamburger Helper helps you make his dreams come true,” according to the headline over a kid in a school hallway. Collecting box tops leads to General Mills making donations for academic purposes. Talk to the hand puppet. Lay’s chips in a 3-page special section listing back-to-school tips. Given the recent controversies surrounding the health risks of potato chips and french fries, the suggestions should include expelling Lay’s products from the household cupboard. State Farm Insurance rounds out the trio with a tyke wearing a Morehouse sweatshirt. This ad has been running so long, the photographed kid is probably completing his second master’s degree.
Nissan Infiniti sputters along with its Black campaign, this time spotlighting a Black dancer. Fade to black on this execution already. Mickey D’s trots out a contrived layout with Premium Chicken Sandwiches on a fashion show runway. This ad was never in vogue. B. Smith promotes Palmolive dishwashing liquid with the headline, “B. Powerful.” B. Gone, please. Verizon Broadband… aw, hell, this one’s so bad it’s not even worth dissing.
Is it possible to request a subscription refund?
Kelly Rowland is working it for Soft Sheen • Carson, hawking Dark and Lovely’s new Color Flash. Five pages later, she’s hyping Dark and Lovely’s Moisturizing Relaxer. Let’s hope the products deliver as advertised, or Kelly’s next hair gig will be for Rogaine. Ironically, appearing between Kelly’s ads is a L’Oréal spread featuring Beyoncé. L’Oréal is the parent company of Soft Sheen • Carson. Looks like poor Kelly still hasn’t made the spokesperson A-list.
Tampax Pearl presents a sistah at her yoga class with the headline, “Who would have thought a tampon could get me to that Zen place?” That’s quite a stretch for even a Master Yogi. Don’t mean to get crude, but a tampon ad shouldn’t have body copy that also exclaims, “Whoa, the blood’s rushing to my head.”
Royal Caribbean International continues to display some of the worst Photoshop compositing around. And some of the worst photos too. The tagline is, “Get out there.” It should be shortened to, “Get out.”
Toyota Corolla rolls in with more questionable Photoshop compositing. A brotha and his hot ride are superimposed over a variety of tickets for entertainment and sporting events. The headline states, “Fun is where you find it.” Wasn’t sure about the relevance here, unless Toyota’s targeting scalpers. Then later in the magazine, American Express Gold Card brags, “it gets you prime seating to many of the most sought-after shows, concerts, and sporting events.” OK, now it all makes sense. Black folks love entertainment and sporting events.
Levi Strauss Signature Jeans offers the obligatory girlfriends get-together, with laughing ladies huddled around the piano. Coca-Cola pours out another girlfriends get-together, with a spirited birthday bash. Family get-togethers are staged by American Airlines (with Grandma serving her traditional pound cake), Vanity Fair Napkins (with Mama serving Chinese takeout) and Tyson meat products (with everyone celebrating at the family barbecue).
Three advertisers attempt to flaunt their commitment to education. “Hamburger Helper helps you make his dreams come true,” according to the headline over a kid in a school hallway. Collecting box tops leads to General Mills making donations for academic purposes. Talk to the hand puppet. Lay’s chips in a 3-page special section listing back-to-school tips. Given the recent controversies surrounding the health risks of potato chips and french fries, the suggestions should include expelling Lay’s products from the household cupboard. State Farm Insurance rounds out the trio with a tyke wearing a Morehouse sweatshirt. This ad has been running so long, the photographed kid is probably completing his second master’s degree.
Nissan Infiniti sputters along with its Black campaign, this time spotlighting a Black dancer. Fade to black on this execution already. Mickey D’s trots out a contrived layout with Premium Chicken Sandwiches on a fashion show runway. This ad was never in vogue. B. Smith promotes Palmolive dishwashing liquid with the headline, “B. Powerful.” B. Gone, please. Verizon Broadband… aw, hell, this one’s so bad it’s not even worth dissing.
Is it possible to request a subscription refund?
Essay 128
Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout, Willis? Presenting a few real quotes from the real world.
“It’s so easy for a kid to join a gang, to do drugs. We should make it that easy to be involved in football and academics.”
>>Snoop Dogg, who is running a kids football league in Orange County. Looks like Snoop is becoming quite the suburban dad.
“Where is the threat to our way of life and mode of communication? …On a philosophical level, is this the kind of society we want? A society where a person who arrives at our shores to make a better life has the door slammed in his or her face because he or she does not yet understand English or at least not well enough to speak or read it fluently?”
>>Mayor Joseph Kernan of Norton, Ohio, who vetoed a resolution that would require all municipal documents in Norton be written only in English.
“When you have 99.9 percent of the people speaking English in Norton, when they go into the voting booth, they will have their say. What he’s doing for our city is completely wrong. It’s a strike against democracy. I’m a proud, English-speaking person in Norton.”
>>Norton Councilman William Mowery, who sponsored the resolution, predicting Mayor Kernan can expect a political backlash. But if 99.9 percent of Norton residents speak English, why would Mowery feel the need to push his resolution?
“It was a strike against me that I didn’t wear baggy jeans and jerseys and that I never hustled, never sold drugs.”
>>Kanye West, discussing the challenges he faced establishing street cred in the world of hip-hop. Guess he made some headway by hosting a party where Suge Knight took a bullet in the leg.
“Make me.”
>>Nation of Islam leader Tony Muhammad, responding to LAPD demanding that he “back up” during a confrontation. The cops made Muhammad back up by beating him down. A recording of the conversation was released to the press.
“It’s so easy for a kid to join a gang, to do drugs. We should make it that easy to be involved in football and academics.”
>>Snoop Dogg, who is running a kids football league in Orange County. Looks like Snoop is becoming quite the suburban dad.
“Where is the threat to our way of life and mode of communication? …On a philosophical level, is this the kind of society we want? A society where a person who arrives at our shores to make a better life has the door slammed in his or her face because he or she does not yet understand English or at least not well enough to speak or read it fluently?”
>>Mayor Joseph Kernan of Norton, Ohio, who vetoed a resolution that would require all municipal documents in Norton be written only in English.
“When you have 99.9 percent of the people speaking English in Norton, when they go into the voting booth, they will have their say. What he’s doing for our city is completely wrong. It’s a strike against democracy. I’m a proud, English-speaking person in Norton.”
>>Norton Councilman William Mowery, who sponsored the resolution, predicting Mayor Kernan can expect a political backlash. But if 99.9 percent of Norton residents speak English, why would Mowery feel the need to push his resolution?
“It was a strike against me that I didn’t wear baggy jeans and jerseys and that I never hustled, never sold drugs.”
>>Kanye West, discussing the challenges he faced establishing street cred in the world of hip-hop. Guess he made some headway by hosting a party where Suge Knight took a bullet in the leg.
“Make me.”
>>Nation of Islam leader Tony Muhammad, responding to LAPD demanding that he “back up” during a confrontation. The cops made Muhammad back up by beating him down. A recording of the conversation was released to the press.
Sunday, August 28, 2005
Essay 127
Start the week with your recommended daily allowance of MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• The Judicial Council of California is out to make English the official language for jurors — plain English, that is. An eight-year effort rewrote seven decades of legal gobbledygook into layman’s terms. For example, “willfully false” is now “lied.” The hope is that jury instructions will no longer be so complicated and impossible to decipher. Too bad the Judicial Council of California can’t do anything about the “willfully false” courtroom tactics of lawyers and defendants.
• The United States Post Office unveiled a stamp commemorating tennis star and cultural icon Arthur Ashe. There’s a lesson here for Mexican President and Memin Pinguin enthusiast Vicente Fox.
• Being first in market no longer guarantees success. The maker of Rio MP3 players — which were the pioneer devices in the field — is exiting from the market. Seems the manufacturer could not play with increased competition from monster brands like Apple’s iPod. Get your soon-to-be collector’s items on eBay now!
• The London Zoo has a new attraction — caged humans. Three men and five women are on display beside the primate environments. “A lot of people think humans are above other animals,” said one of the exhibited Homo sapiens. “When they see humans as animals, here, it kind of reminds us that we’re not that special.” Wonder if, like the other primates, the humans will be seen fornicating and playing with their poop.
• The battle zones feature hideous torture and shootouts with bazookas and assault rifles, and the death tolls are rising at alarming rates. But it’s not the conflict in Iraq. No, it’s the drug wars taking place in nearby Mexican border cities like Nuevo Laredo. The already strained relations between the United States and Mexico are being worsened by continuing feuds involving Latino drug cartels. Quick, somebody get Pat Robertson’s opinion on this.
• Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez says that if anything happens to him now, blame President Bush. Chavez was responding to Pat Robertson’s recent assassination recommendation. Actually, Chavez has bigger problems on his hands at this point — Jesse Jackson flew south to meet with him.
• Georgia now has “the most draconian voter identification requirement in the nation,” according to Daniel Levitas of the American Civil Liberties Union’s Voting Rights Project in Atlanta. The proclamation came after the state won the approval of the Justice Department to require voters show a photo I.D. at the polls. Democrats claimed the action was designed by Republicans to depress voting among minorities, the elderly and the poor. As if Republicans needed another way to make folks depressed.
• Washington, D.C. prosecutors taking on MS-13 are using a statute originally created to combat Mafia crime families. Nice to know somebody’s benefiting from watching The Sopranos.
• Cindy Sheehan, the protesting mother whose son died in Iraq, met with actor Martin Sheehan, who plays the president on NBC drama The West Wing. Not sure it’s quite what the grieving mother was hoping for, as she’s been trying to get a face-to-face with the real Commander-In-Chief.
• Despite the recent anti-graffiti efforts in New York and Los Angeles, taggers can now find sanctuary in an unexpected state — Ohio. The City Xpressionz Festival welcomed prominent artists to spray paint without fear, sponsored by Scion dealerships, Starbucks and other community programs. Pretty amazing, considering the last hip, urban thing to come out of Ohio was WKRP’s Venus Flytrap.
• The Judicial Council of California is out to make English the official language for jurors — plain English, that is. An eight-year effort rewrote seven decades of legal gobbledygook into layman’s terms. For example, “willfully false” is now “lied.” The hope is that jury instructions will no longer be so complicated and impossible to decipher. Too bad the Judicial Council of California can’t do anything about the “willfully false” courtroom tactics of lawyers and defendants.
• The United States Post Office unveiled a stamp commemorating tennis star and cultural icon Arthur Ashe. There’s a lesson here for Mexican President and Memin Pinguin enthusiast Vicente Fox.
• Being first in market no longer guarantees success. The maker of Rio MP3 players — which were the pioneer devices in the field — is exiting from the market. Seems the manufacturer could not play with increased competition from monster brands like Apple’s iPod. Get your soon-to-be collector’s items on eBay now!
• The London Zoo has a new attraction — caged humans. Three men and five women are on display beside the primate environments. “A lot of people think humans are above other animals,” said one of the exhibited Homo sapiens. “When they see humans as animals, here, it kind of reminds us that we’re not that special.” Wonder if, like the other primates, the humans will be seen fornicating and playing with their poop.
• The battle zones feature hideous torture and shootouts with bazookas and assault rifles, and the death tolls are rising at alarming rates. But it’s not the conflict in Iraq. No, it’s the drug wars taking place in nearby Mexican border cities like Nuevo Laredo. The already strained relations between the United States and Mexico are being worsened by continuing feuds involving Latino drug cartels. Quick, somebody get Pat Robertson’s opinion on this.
• Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez says that if anything happens to him now, blame President Bush. Chavez was responding to Pat Robertson’s recent assassination recommendation. Actually, Chavez has bigger problems on his hands at this point — Jesse Jackson flew south to meet with him.
• Georgia now has “the most draconian voter identification requirement in the nation,” according to Daniel Levitas of the American Civil Liberties Union’s Voting Rights Project in Atlanta. The proclamation came after the state won the approval of the Justice Department to require voters show a photo I.D. at the polls. Democrats claimed the action was designed by Republicans to depress voting among minorities, the elderly and the poor. As if Republicans needed another way to make folks depressed.
• Washington, D.C. prosecutors taking on MS-13 are using a statute originally created to combat Mafia crime families. Nice to know somebody’s benefiting from watching The Sopranos.
• Cindy Sheehan, the protesting mother whose son died in Iraq, met with actor Martin Sheehan, who plays the president on NBC drama The West Wing. Not sure it’s quite what the grieving mother was hoping for, as she’s been trying to get a face-to-face with the real Commander-In-Chief.
• Despite the recent anti-graffiti efforts in New York and Los Angeles, taggers can now find sanctuary in an unexpected state — Ohio. The City Xpressionz Festival welcomed prominent artists to spray paint without fear, sponsored by Scion dealerships, Starbucks and other community programs. Pretty amazing, considering the last hip, urban thing to come out of Ohio was WKRP’s Venus Flytrap.
Essay 126
Law & Disorder with MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• Hasta la vista, Las Chepas. The governors of New Mexico and the Mexican state of Chihuahua agreed to shut down areas of the small border town. Illegal immigrants and drug and human smugglers have used Las Chepas as a staging ground. Abandoned buildings will be boarded up or bulldozed as part of the emergency effort initiated by New Mexico. Security and law enforcement will be beefed up as well.
• Washington, D.C. continues to crack down on MS-13, the notorious Latino street gang. This week, 19 suspected gang members faced a federal indictment charging them with racketeering. Increased violent crimes linked to MS-13 led local law enforcement to seek federal assistance. But given that the gang boasts membership of up to 10,000 nationwide, it’s unlikely officials will deep-six MS-13 anytime soon.
• On September 14, Texas plans to execute a Black woman for the first time since the Civil War. However, defense lawyers are mounting an argument that the convicted murderer is actually innocent. Frances Newton has been on Death Row for nearly 17 years for killing her husband and two children. In light of the recent controversies surrounding the justice system in Texas (see Essays 112 and 121), maybe someone should replace the lethal injection with some legal injection.
• The LAPD is under fire again for beating civilians. This time, the cops roughed up the western regional director of the Nation of Islam Tony Muhammad. The incident took place during a street vigil for a slaying victim, as a group of people allegedly assaulted cops. Witnesses insisted Muhammad was attacked without provocation. The LAPD told a different tale, arguing Muhammad “became quite belligerent and joined in the assault.” The cops suffered a torn pocket and name tag, while Muhammad sported a severely bruised and swollen face, forehead lump and possible concussion.
• In a twisted case of profiling, a private contractor working for the Pentagon prior to May 2000 mistakenly identified Condoleezza Rice as a potential security risk. The group had operated with a counter-terrorism unit within the Pentagon, using sophisticated computer programs that analyzed data for patterns of suspicious behavior. Wonder if Pat Robertson ever popped up on their monitors.
• Hasta la vista, Las Chepas. The governors of New Mexico and the Mexican state of Chihuahua agreed to shut down areas of the small border town. Illegal immigrants and drug and human smugglers have used Las Chepas as a staging ground. Abandoned buildings will be boarded up or bulldozed as part of the emergency effort initiated by New Mexico. Security and law enforcement will be beefed up as well.
• Washington, D.C. continues to crack down on MS-13, the notorious Latino street gang. This week, 19 suspected gang members faced a federal indictment charging them with racketeering. Increased violent crimes linked to MS-13 led local law enforcement to seek federal assistance. But given that the gang boasts membership of up to 10,000 nationwide, it’s unlikely officials will deep-six MS-13 anytime soon.
• On September 14, Texas plans to execute a Black woman for the first time since the Civil War. However, defense lawyers are mounting an argument that the convicted murderer is actually innocent. Frances Newton has been on Death Row for nearly 17 years for killing her husband and two children. In light of the recent controversies surrounding the justice system in Texas (see Essays 112 and 121), maybe someone should replace the lethal injection with some legal injection.
• The LAPD is under fire again for beating civilians. This time, the cops roughed up the western regional director of the Nation of Islam Tony Muhammad. The incident took place during a street vigil for a slaying victim, as a group of people allegedly assaulted cops. Witnesses insisted Muhammad was attacked without provocation. The LAPD told a different tale, arguing Muhammad “became quite belligerent and joined in the assault.” The cops suffered a torn pocket and name tag, while Muhammad sported a severely bruised and swollen face, forehead lump and possible concussion.
• In a twisted case of profiling, a private contractor working for the Pentagon prior to May 2000 mistakenly identified Condoleezza Rice as a potential security risk. The group had operated with a counter-terrorism unit within the Pentagon, using sophisticated computer programs that analyzed data for patterns of suspicious behavior. Wonder if Pat Robertson ever popped up on their monitors.
Friday, August 26, 2005
Essay 125
Anger mismanagement with MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• Oprah’s pissed off over being accused of dissing the late John H. Johnson by failing to attend his funeral. The Chicago Defender newspaper criticized Winfrey, calling her absence an “apparent snub of the man who single-handedly made it possible for people like Oprah to launch their own magazines and media companies.” Oprah insisted she sent condolences and flowers to Johnson’s family, but was unable to leave Hawaii. Letter to the Editor of the Chicago Defender: Don’t mess with Oprah.
• Palestinian American Sami Habbas received a credit card offer in the mail from Chase. The letter was addressed to “Palestinian Bomber.” When Habbas called the bank and identified himself with his ZIP Code and invitation number, operators referred to him as “Mr. Bomber.” Needless to say, Habbas is pissed off. But mostly because it would be tough getting merchants to accept a card with that name on it.
• Ohio postal employee Thomas Shaheen must have been pissed off with his coworkers. Shaheen wound up literally pissing into the employee coffee machine. The staff set up a camera after growing suspicious over the funny-tasting java, and they ultimately caught Shaheen making his special delivery. Talk about going postal.
• Folks are growing increasingly pissed off with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger for his refusal to declare a state of emergency in response to the problem of illegal immigration. Arizona and New Mexico have already called emergency declarations. Given that Schwarzenegger has starred in movies with alien predators and world-conquering enemies, the immigration troubles in his state probably seem calm by comparison.
• FTD Group Inc. is not planning to send a bouquet to rival ProFlowers. Instead, FTD sent notice of a lawsuit, accusing the competitor of false advertising. ProFlowers claims its products arrive “direct from the fields.” FTD argues ProFlowers’ stuff comes straight out of refrigerated warehouses. There’s nothing more pathetic than a war between pissed off florists.
• Oprah’s pissed off over being accused of dissing the late John H. Johnson by failing to attend his funeral. The Chicago Defender newspaper criticized Winfrey, calling her absence an “apparent snub of the man who single-handedly made it possible for people like Oprah to launch their own magazines and media companies.” Oprah insisted she sent condolences and flowers to Johnson’s family, but was unable to leave Hawaii. Letter to the Editor of the Chicago Defender: Don’t mess with Oprah.
• Palestinian American Sami Habbas received a credit card offer in the mail from Chase. The letter was addressed to “Palestinian Bomber.” When Habbas called the bank and identified himself with his ZIP Code and invitation number, operators referred to him as “Mr. Bomber.” Needless to say, Habbas is pissed off. But mostly because it would be tough getting merchants to accept a card with that name on it.
• Ohio postal employee Thomas Shaheen must have been pissed off with his coworkers. Shaheen wound up literally pissing into the employee coffee machine. The staff set up a camera after growing suspicious over the funny-tasting java, and they ultimately caught Shaheen making his special delivery. Talk about going postal.
• Folks are growing increasingly pissed off with California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger for his refusal to declare a state of emergency in response to the problem of illegal immigration. Arizona and New Mexico have already called emergency declarations. Given that Schwarzenegger has starred in movies with alien predators and world-conquering enemies, the immigration troubles in his state probably seem calm by comparison.
• FTD Group Inc. is not planning to send a bouquet to rival ProFlowers. Instead, FTD sent notice of a lawsuit, accusing the competitor of false advertising. ProFlowers claims its products arrive “direct from the fields.” FTD argues ProFlowers’ stuff comes straight out of refrigerated warehouses. There’s nothing more pathetic than a war between pissed off florists.
Essay 124
Friday morning rush hour with MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• The good news: Blacks, Hispanics and Whites are equally pulled over by cops for traffic stops. The no news: Blacks and Hispanics are significantly more likely to get searched, cuffed and subjected to physical abuse. A recent study by the Justice Department confirmed what every minority motorist in America already knew. But the report failed to offer a reason for the racial differences. Free researched reason from MultiCultClassics: Because cops hate Blacks and Hispanics.
• You gotta fight for your right to party. And spray paint too. On Wednesday fashion designer Marc Ecko held his graffiti art event in New York, despite attempted legal blockades by Mayor Michael Bloomberg and assorted politicians. Prominent graffiti artists painted replica subway cars and promoted their craft in a responsible fashion. “Don’t be afraid of spray paint,” artist Lady Pink said. “It’s just a quick medium… It’s not a reason to call the cops.” Especially if you’re a Black or Hispanic motorist.
• Los Angeles is cracking down on graffiti artists, demanding that even commissioned murals are whitewashed. Many of the murals depict images of Mexican American history or serve as advertisements for local businesses. City officials are using an obscure ordinance granting them authority to regulate artwork that abuts public property. Spray-painted note to Marc Ecko: Stay the hell out of LA.
• Now appearing at grocery stores and 7-11s in San Diego, Dallas and Phoenix: Las Delicias de Hostess. The manufacturer of such dubious delights as Twinkies, Ding-Dongs and Ho Hos introduced a series of snacks designed to appeal to Hispanics. The semi-food items are allegedly inspired by traditional Hispanic goodies. Can’t imagine a better bakery for creating culturally authentic cakes. For Hispanics, the translation for Ho Hos is "Caca de Gringos."
• Religious fanatic Pat Robertson stutter-stepped through explanations and apologies for his suggestion to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Robertson first tried to insist his words were misinterpreted and taken out of context. Let’s see. An original quote included, “…I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it.” Well, it’s easy to see how that remark could be misinterpreted. Another comment stated, “We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability.” OK, in that case, Robertson meant someone should take Chavez out to dinner. And afterwards, assassinate the motherfucker.
• The good news: Blacks, Hispanics and Whites are equally pulled over by cops for traffic stops. The no news: Blacks and Hispanics are significantly more likely to get searched, cuffed and subjected to physical abuse. A recent study by the Justice Department confirmed what every minority motorist in America already knew. But the report failed to offer a reason for the racial differences. Free researched reason from MultiCultClassics: Because cops hate Blacks and Hispanics.
• You gotta fight for your right to party. And spray paint too. On Wednesday fashion designer Marc Ecko held his graffiti art event in New York, despite attempted legal blockades by Mayor Michael Bloomberg and assorted politicians. Prominent graffiti artists painted replica subway cars and promoted their craft in a responsible fashion. “Don’t be afraid of spray paint,” artist Lady Pink said. “It’s just a quick medium… It’s not a reason to call the cops.” Especially if you’re a Black or Hispanic motorist.
• Los Angeles is cracking down on graffiti artists, demanding that even commissioned murals are whitewashed. Many of the murals depict images of Mexican American history or serve as advertisements for local businesses. City officials are using an obscure ordinance granting them authority to regulate artwork that abuts public property. Spray-painted note to Marc Ecko: Stay the hell out of LA.
• Now appearing at grocery stores and 7-11s in San Diego, Dallas and Phoenix: Las Delicias de Hostess. The manufacturer of such dubious delights as Twinkies, Ding-Dongs and Ho Hos introduced a series of snacks designed to appeal to Hispanics. The semi-food items are allegedly inspired by traditional Hispanic goodies. Can’t imagine a better bakery for creating culturally authentic cakes. For Hispanics, the translation for Ho Hos is "Caca de Gringos."
• Religious fanatic Pat Robertson stutter-stepped through explanations and apologies for his suggestion to assassinate Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Robertson first tried to insist his words were misinterpreted and taken out of context. Let’s see. An original quote included, “…I don’t know about this doctrine of assassination, but if he thinks we’re trying to assassinate him, I think that we really ought to go ahead and do it.” Well, it’s easy to see how that remark could be misinterpreted. Another comment stated, “We have the ability to take him out, and I think the time has come that we exercise that ability.” OK, in that case, Robertson meant someone should take Chavez out to dinner. And afterwards, assassinate the motherfucker.
Wednesday, August 24, 2005
Essay 123
Midweek musings with MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• An advertising campaign designed to stop the illegal consumption of endangered turtles’ eggs has sparked controversy in Mexico. Men have eaten the eggs for years, thinking they are aphrodisiacs. Posters feature a scantily clad Argentine model Dorismar proclaiming, “My man does not need turtle eggs because he knows they don’t make him more potent.” The National Women’s Institute is protesting the ads, arguing the work counters the country’s efforts to overcome machismo. Maybe Dorismar could be replaced by Memin Pinguin.
• Talk about sore losers. A bunch of Burger King franchisees are suing McDonald’s over the rigged Monopoly promotional game from the 1990s. The Burger King clan claims Mickey D’s hurt their business by running a contest hyping prizes that did not exist. Even though McDonald’s has already dealt with lawsuits and settlements from the original scandal, the flame-broiled franchisees insist the contest lured BK customers to the Golden Arches. The franchisees’ lawsuit cites the Lanham Act, a law prohibiting false advertising. Mickey D’s should counter by accusing Burger King of running false advertising claiming new Chicken Fries taste good.
• Figures now show immigration cases consume the majority of federal prosecutions, exceeding narcotics and drug cases. Guess we can expect new Hispanic programming on Court TV soon.
• Goodness gracious, there are new accusations of racism in Major League Baseball. Los Angeles Dodgers player Milton Bradley charged teammate Jeff Kent “doesn’t know how to deal with African American people.” The comments fueled a feud in the clubhouse, clearly creating an ugly scenario. But it’s tough to take someone named Milton Bradley seriously.
• An advertising campaign designed to stop the illegal consumption of endangered turtles’ eggs has sparked controversy in Mexico. Men have eaten the eggs for years, thinking they are aphrodisiacs. Posters feature a scantily clad Argentine model Dorismar proclaiming, “My man does not need turtle eggs because he knows they don’t make him more potent.” The National Women’s Institute is protesting the ads, arguing the work counters the country’s efforts to overcome machismo. Maybe Dorismar could be replaced by Memin Pinguin.
• Talk about sore losers. A bunch of Burger King franchisees are suing McDonald’s over the rigged Monopoly promotional game from the 1990s. The Burger King clan claims Mickey D’s hurt their business by running a contest hyping prizes that did not exist. Even though McDonald’s has already dealt with lawsuits and settlements from the original scandal, the flame-broiled franchisees insist the contest lured BK customers to the Golden Arches. The franchisees’ lawsuit cites the Lanham Act, a law prohibiting false advertising. Mickey D’s should counter by accusing Burger King of running false advertising claiming new Chicken Fries taste good.
• Figures now show immigration cases consume the majority of federal prosecutions, exceeding narcotics and drug cases. Guess we can expect new Hispanic programming on Court TV soon.
• Goodness gracious, there are new accusations of racism in Major League Baseball. Los Angeles Dodgers player Milton Bradley charged teammate Jeff Kent “doesn’t know how to deal with African American people.” The comments fueled a feud in the clubhouse, clearly creating an ugly scenario. But it’s tough to take someone named Milton Bradley seriously.
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Essay 122
Religious references and real estate with MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• Religious fanatic Pat Robertson recommended assassinating Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Onward, Christian Coalition soldiers.
• Actual entry from thesaurus.com: Arab n. 1. beggar 2. homeless person 3. welfare bum (Gee, looks like Pat Robertson is writing too.)
• The NCAA decided to permit Florida State to use its Seminoles nickname in postseason play, citing the positive relationship between the school and Native Americans. Or maybe it was because the university suggested changing to the Florida State Arabs.
• A Belgian nun was reprimanded by her mother superior for wildly dancing during a Catholic World Youth Day celebration. However, ABC may be interested in signing her up for next season’s Dancing With The Stars.
• A rare book dealer is selling her 1830 copy of the Book of Mormon one page at a time — for up to $4500 per page. The really annoying part is she’s doing it door to door.
• Re/Max realtors are accused of ethnic selection, steering Whites to White neighborhoods and minorities to minority neighborhoods — plus, bad-mouthing minority areas to White clients. Re/Max appears to be Ra/Cist.
• Religious fanatic Pat Robertson recommended assassinating Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. Onward, Christian Coalition soldiers.
• Actual entry from thesaurus.com: Arab n. 1. beggar 2. homeless person 3. welfare bum (Gee, looks like Pat Robertson is writing too.)
• The NCAA decided to permit Florida State to use its Seminoles nickname in postseason play, citing the positive relationship between the school and Native Americans. Or maybe it was because the university suggested changing to the Florida State Arabs.
• A Belgian nun was reprimanded by her mother superior for wildly dancing during a Catholic World Youth Day celebration. However, ABC may be interested in signing her up for next season’s Dancing With The Stars.
• A rare book dealer is selling her 1830 copy of the Book of Mormon one page at a time — for up to $4500 per page. The really annoying part is she’s doing it door to door.
• Re/Max realtors are accused of ethnic selection, steering Whites to White neighborhoods and minorities to minority neighborhoods — plus, bad-mouthing minority areas to White clients. Re/Max appears to be Ra/Cist.
Monday, August 22, 2005
Essay 121
MultiCultClassics Minutes with more reasons to hate Mondays…
• In the August 15, 2005 issue of Adweek, columnist Barbara Lippert critiqued the Chrysler spot featuring Snoop Dogg and Lee Iacocca. Lippert wrote, “Only in America, kids, could you have a former pimp and drug user and a retired CEO who once tried a hostile takeover of the company make beautiful music together in a commercial on a golf course.” Don’t mean to sound overly sensitive, but why make the pimp and drug user reference? Would it have killed Lippert to label Snoop as a rapper or TV and movie star? Damn, Iacocca probably committed far worse crimes in his career.
• A new study links eating french fries with breast cancer. According to the report, it’s not the potatoes, but rather, the trans-fatty acids and saturated fats that may lead to trouble. Hmmmm. Mickey D’s recently dealt with lawsuits and impending settlements surrounding the use of trans-fatty acids in food products (see Essay 25). Get a free McMammogram with every Happy Meal.
• A Manhattan graffiti block party will take place this week, despite New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s efforts to stop the fun. Fashion designer Marc Ecko planned the event, and artists are scheduled to spray-paint on models of subway cars. Bloomberg initially denied organizers a permit, arguing the exhibition would encourage people to tag real subway cars. But a federal judge ordered the city to let the artists perform their craft, proclaiming Bloomberg’s logic meant, “A street performance of ‘Hamlet’ would be tantamount to encouraging revenge murder.” Yo, judge, don’t give New Yorkers more crazy ideas.
• Dallas County prosecutors are guilty of excluding Blacks from juries at over twice the rate they nix Whites. A new report shows the exclusionary tactics have been taking place as recently as 2002. “The statistics may show we strike more Blacks, but it’s not because they’re Black,” insisted District Attorney Bill Hill. “It’s because for one reason or another, they (prosecutors) don’t think they are going to be fair and impartial.” Maybe because they’re… Black?
• In the August 22, 2005 issue of Adweek, the People page featured a photo of favorite icon nominees for the upcoming Advertising Week in New York. Contenders included Tony the Tiger, Cap’n Crunch and the Pillsbury Doughboy. Hey, how come Aunt Jemima wasn’t among the finalists?
• In the August 15, 2005 issue of Adweek, columnist Barbara Lippert critiqued the Chrysler spot featuring Snoop Dogg and Lee Iacocca. Lippert wrote, “Only in America, kids, could you have a former pimp and drug user and a retired CEO who once tried a hostile takeover of the company make beautiful music together in a commercial on a golf course.” Don’t mean to sound overly sensitive, but why make the pimp and drug user reference? Would it have killed Lippert to label Snoop as a rapper or TV and movie star? Damn, Iacocca probably committed far worse crimes in his career.
• A new study links eating french fries with breast cancer. According to the report, it’s not the potatoes, but rather, the trans-fatty acids and saturated fats that may lead to trouble. Hmmmm. Mickey D’s recently dealt with lawsuits and impending settlements surrounding the use of trans-fatty acids in food products (see Essay 25). Get a free McMammogram with every Happy Meal.
• A Manhattan graffiti block party will take place this week, despite New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg’s efforts to stop the fun. Fashion designer Marc Ecko planned the event, and artists are scheduled to spray-paint on models of subway cars. Bloomberg initially denied organizers a permit, arguing the exhibition would encourage people to tag real subway cars. But a federal judge ordered the city to let the artists perform their craft, proclaiming Bloomberg’s logic meant, “A street performance of ‘Hamlet’ would be tantamount to encouraging revenge murder.” Yo, judge, don’t give New Yorkers more crazy ideas.
• Dallas County prosecutors are guilty of excluding Blacks from juries at over twice the rate they nix Whites. A new report shows the exclusionary tactics have been taking place as recently as 2002. “The statistics may show we strike more Blacks, but it’s not because they’re Black,” insisted District Attorney Bill Hill. “It’s because for one reason or another, they (prosecutors) don’t think they are going to be fair and impartial.” Maybe because they’re… Black?
• In the August 22, 2005 issue of Adweek, the People page featured a photo of favorite icon nominees for the upcoming Advertising Week in New York. Contenders included Tony the Tiger, Cap’n Crunch and the Pillsbury Doughboy. Hey, how come Aunt Jemima wasn’t among the finalists?
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Essay 120
The column below appeared in The Washington Post. It’s an interesting perspective on another country’s musings about multiculturalism.
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Multiculturalism’s Many Challenges
Britons Rethink Their Approach to Community
By Frances Stead Sellers
Monday, August 22, 2005
Just weeks after homegrown Muslim terrorists attacked London, the British people affirmed their support for multiculturalism, according to a MORI poll for the BBC. It was heartening evidence that Britons have overcome the racism of their colonial past and learned to appreciate the carnival of color I joined when I took the Tube across central London shortly after the bombings.
But multiculturalism means more than better food and brighter festivals. It involves the trickier challenge of building community out of disparate populations with disparate traditions and disparate beliefs, all the while preserving and celebrating those disparities. That’s what European countries are having a hard time coming to grips with -- and understandably so, because multiculturalism swept into Europe before its member countries had developed a philosophy to accommodate it. British author and psychologist Kenan Malik puts it more starkly. “Multiculturalism as lived experience enriches our lives,” he has written. “But multiculturalism as a political ideology has helped create a tribal Britain with no political or moral centre.”
Unlike America, where every new immigrant can make America more American (as President Bush once argued), and where the founding philosophy and civic rituals were designed to create a citizenry out of the masses, European countries were established less deliberately -- largely on shared traditions, shared languages, shared histories and even shared genes.
Recognizing the resulting deficit in civic ritual and the potential for a repeat of the kind of racial unrest that shook northern England four years ago, Britain’s Labor government has been making a belated effort to engender “common values and a sense of belonging.” Just 18 months ago, Britain held its first naturalization ceremony, in the London borough of Brent, publicly marking the moment the foreigner crossed the threshold to become a Briton. There, each citizen-in-the-making officially pledged “loyalty to the United Kingdom” and to “respect its rights and freedoms” as well as to “fulfil my duties and obligations as a British citizen.”
More recently, just a few weeks before the bombings, the Home Office announced that, from November onward, prospective Britons will have to take a citizenship test to demonstrate some knowledge of the nation’s past, an appreciation of its institutions, and an awareness of its customs and laws. The test is the product of a government-appointed panel led by the political theorist Bernard Crick, who has indulged in much soul-searching about just what it takes to be a modern multicultural Brit.
Is it important to know exactly what goes into the Christmas pud, for example, or how to get a new telephone installed? Should a prospective Briton understand how to use the National Health Service or know what happened in 1066 and all that?
This uneasy balance of cultural, practical and historical know-how has been widely ridiculed, but Crick’s work represents an important if imperfect step toward establishing what it means to belong. And the need for heightened civic awareness isn’t only among newcomers. Citizenship classes have already become a compulsory part of the school curriculum. For my niece in Cheshire, “citizenship” meant learning about the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights (though when I spoke to her she didn’t know what that had to do with being British); and for one of my nephews, it meant working on a building for children in the Cornish town where he grew up.
Now there is talk of some sort of coming-of-age citizenship ceremony for 18-year-olds, as well as a national “Citizenship Day” to celebrate the bonds of Britishness (probably without parades and sparklers, which might be, uh, a bit too brash).
Old hat, Americans (or Australians) may say. But it’s an essential new approach to belonging that is being developed in the Old World in response to what the New World knows well -- mass migration. Other European countries would do well to emulate it. After the bombings, Tony Blair said that “staying here carries with it a duty. That duty is to share and support the values that sustain the British way of life.” The trouble is, those values have never been enshrined in the Old World’s founding philosophy, leaving only the anything-goes message of multiculturalism.
Or almost anything. In its handbook for newcomers, “Life in the United Kingdom: A Journey to Citizenship,” Crick’s panel offers handy hints on how to act like a true Brit: In a pub, for example, “If you spill a stranger’s drink by accident, it is good manners (and prudent) to offer to buy another.”
The very hardest thing to understand, you see, may be the British sense of humor.
[The writer, a dual citizen of Britain and the United States, is an assistant editor of Outlook.]
---------------------------------------------------------------------------
Multiculturalism’s Many Challenges
Britons Rethink Their Approach to Community
By Frances Stead Sellers
Monday, August 22, 2005
Just weeks after homegrown Muslim terrorists attacked London, the British people affirmed their support for multiculturalism, according to a MORI poll for the BBC. It was heartening evidence that Britons have overcome the racism of their colonial past and learned to appreciate the carnival of color I joined when I took the Tube across central London shortly after the bombings.
But multiculturalism means more than better food and brighter festivals. It involves the trickier challenge of building community out of disparate populations with disparate traditions and disparate beliefs, all the while preserving and celebrating those disparities. That’s what European countries are having a hard time coming to grips with -- and understandably so, because multiculturalism swept into Europe before its member countries had developed a philosophy to accommodate it. British author and psychologist Kenan Malik puts it more starkly. “Multiculturalism as lived experience enriches our lives,” he has written. “But multiculturalism as a political ideology has helped create a tribal Britain with no political or moral centre.”
Unlike America, where every new immigrant can make America more American (as President Bush once argued), and where the founding philosophy and civic rituals were designed to create a citizenry out of the masses, European countries were established less deliberately -- largely on shared traditions, shared languages, shared histories and even shared genes.
Recognizing the resulting deficit in civic ritual and the potential for a repeat of the kind of racial unrest that shook northern England four years ago, Britain’s Labor government has been making a belated effort to engender “common values and a sense of belonging.” Just 18 months ago, Britain held its first naturalization ceremony, in the London borough of Brent, publicly marking the moment the foreigner crossed the threshold to become a Briton. There, each citizen-in-the-making officially pledged “loyalty to the United Kingdom” and to “respect its rights and freedoms” as well as to “fulfil my duties and obligations as a British citizen.”
More recently, just a few weeks before the bombings, the Home Office announced that, from November onward, prospective Britons will have to take a citizenship test to demonstrate some knowledge of the nation’s past, an appreciation of its institutions, and an awareness of its customs and laws. The test is the product of a government-appointed panel led by the political theorist Bernard Crick, who has indulged in much soul-searching about just what it takes to be a modern multicultural Brit.
Is it important to know exactly what goes into the Christmas pud, for example, or how to get a new telephone installed? Should a prospective Briton understand how to use the National Health Service or know what happened in 1066 and all that?
This uneasy balance of cultural, practical and historical know-how has been widely ridiculed, but Crick’s work represents an important if imperfect step toward establishing what it means to belong. And the need for heightened civic awareness isn’t only among newcomers. Citizenship classes have already become a compulsory part of the school curriculum. For my niece in Cheshire, “citizenship” meant learning about the United Nations’ Universal Declaration of Human Rights (though when I spoke to her she didn’t know what that had to do with being British); and for one of my nephews, it meant working on a building for children in the Cornish town where he grew up.
Now there is talk of some sort of coming-of-age citizenship ceremony for 18-year-olds, as well as a national “Citizenship Day” to celebrate the bonds of Britishness (probably without parades and sparklers, which might be, uh, a bit too brash).
Old hat, Americans (or Australians) may say. But it’s an essential new approach to belonging that is being developed in the Old World in response to what the New World knows well -- mass migration. Other European countries would do well to emulate it. After the bombings, Tony Blair said that “staying here carries with it a duty. That duty is to share and support the values that sustain the British way of life.” The trouble is, those values have never been enshrined in the Old World’s founding philosophy, leaving only the anything-goes message of multiculturalism.
Or almost anything. In its handbook for newcomers, “Life in the United Kingdom: A Journey to Citizenship,” Crick’s panel offers handy hints on how to act like a true Brit: In a pub, for example, “If you spill a stranger’s drink by accident, it is good manners (and prudent) to offer to buy another.”
The very hardest thing to understand, you see, may be the British sense of humor.
[The writer, a dual citizen of Britain and the United States, is an assistant editor of Outlook.]
Essay 119
Here’s a rewrite of a response to a review originally referenced in Essay 113.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
There’s ugliness at the heart of the Dove Real Beauty campaign.
Dove’s history is rooted in stereotypical and idealized beauty standards. The brand has forever been in the forefront of sustaining the status quo in this arena. Why the sudden rebirth? Don’t mean to sound paranoid, but there are eerie similarities between Dove and ex-KKK members now assuming elected seats in politics — they say they’re rehabilitated and reformed, but let’s withhold judgment until seeing indisputable evidence. Remember, Dove is wholly responsible for the issues it now criticizes.
Dove brags the campaign is redefining beauty standards. The problem is, it’s based on Eurocentric beauty standards. Dove basically ignores Afrocentric beauty standards, Asian beauty standards, Hispanic beauty standards, etc. Hell, having a few curves is already considered real beauty among many Blacks and Hispanics. Plus, the allegedly real casting offers a narrow-minded vision, particularly with the minorities depicted. The Dove girls appear to symbolize a White person’s — and probably a White man’s — definition of beauty. In short, this self-absorbed celebration is pretty exclusive.
Another ugly aspect of the campaign involves the art direction. There’s absolutely nothing real about it. The women merely resemble full-figured professional models. The makeup and styling are totally high fashion — no different than Oprah’s makeover programs. The photography is on the level of Vogue and Elle. Even the poses are classical, continuing a movement dating back to Peter Paul Rubens at least. Sorry, these women look anything but real.
The PR surrounding the work feels as fake as the campaign. Great ideas usually seep into the public conscience without a lot of covert prodding from the advertiser. Bud Light’s Whassup? Target. Got milk? iPod. Verizon’s annoying “Can you hear me now?” character. The list goes on. In Dove’s case, it seems the advertiser and agency are seeding too much of the hype — the buzz is calculated and fabricated.
The campaign concept is not original, and Dove openly admits it. Every major beauty brand has presented the same position at some point. Magazines like Essence publish annual photo tributes to real women. For better or worse, most advertisers abandon the direction upon determining real beauty doesn’t equate to real sales. Dove is nowhere close to being fresh or breakthrough. So why is everyone reacting with shock and awe?
Dove itself can barely maintain interest in the campaign. When Dove shampoo was launched a few months ago, Real Beauty was ditched in favor of spotlighting cartoon characters including Wilma Flintstone, Marge Simpson and Jane Jetson. So much for keeping it real — the advertising agency’s creative team apparently lacks adoration for its own brainchild.
A recent New York Times Op-Ed argued the Dove firming product doesn’t live up to its claims — that is, it won’t help firm fat. Here’s yet another contradiction to the notion of being real. And if real beauty should be cherished and unretouched, why hawk snake oil designed to hide the truth?
To contrast and compare, the infamous Miller Beer Catfight bimbos also garnered raves and controversy from American audiences — but miserable sales. Despite Dove’s contention that the Real Beauty campaign is getting positive responses, it will be interesting to see if it generates real profits. Situations turn infinitely real in shareholder meetings when discussions lead to the almighty ROI.
Finally, it’s all so damned cynical when you consider Dove’s parent company. Unilever has plenty of products still merrily showcasing the regular beauty imagery and models. Dove boasts about flipping the script, but the brand can’t persuade its own corporate sisters to join the revolution.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
There’s ugliness at the heart of the Dove Real Beauty campaign.
Dove’s history is rooted in stereotypical and idealized beauty standards. The brand has forever been in the forefront of sustaining the status quo in this arena. Why the sudden rebirth? Don’t mean to sound paranoid, but there are eerie similarities between Dove and ex-KKK members now assuming elected seats in politics — they say they’re rehabilitated and reformed, but let’s withhold judgment until seeing indisputable evidence. Remember, Dove is wholly responsible for the issues it now criticizes.
Dove brags the campaign is redefining beauty standards. The problem is, it’s based on Eurocentric beauty standards. Dove basically ignores Afrocentric beauty standards, Asian beauty standards, Hispanic beauty standards, etc. Hell, having a few curves is already considered real beauty among many Blacks and Hispanics. Plus, the allegedly real casting offers a narrow-minded vision, particularly with the minorities depicted. The Dove girls appear to symbolize a White person’s — and probably a White man’s — definition of beauty. In short, this self-absorbed celebration is pretty exclusive.
Another ugly aspect of the campaign involves the art direction. There’s absolutely nothing real about it. The women merely resemble full-figured professional models. The makeup and styling are totally high fashion — no different than Oprah’s makeover programs. The photography is on the level of Vogue and Elle. Even the poses are classical, continuing a movement dating back to Peter Paul Rubens at least. Sorry, these women look anything but real.
The PR surrounding the work feels as fake as the campaign. Great ideas usually seep into the public conscience without a lot of covert prodding from the advertiser. Bud Light’s Whassup? Target. Got milk? iPod. Verizon’s annoying “Can you hear me now?” character. The list goes on. In Dove’s case, it seems the advertiser and agency are seeding too much of the hype — the buzz is calculated and fabricated.
The campaign concept is not original, and Dove openly admits it. Every major beauty brand has presented the same position at some point. Magazines like Essence publish annual photo tributes to real women. For better or worse, most advertisers abandon the direction upon determining real beauty doesn’t equate to real sales. Dove is nowhere close to being fresh or breakthrough. So why is everyone reacting with shock and awe?
Dove itself can barely maintain interest in the campaign. When Dove shampoo was launched a few months ago, Real Beauty was ditched in favor of spotlighting cartoon characters including Wilma Flintstone, Marge Simpson and Jane Jetson. So much for keeping it real — the advertising agency’s creative team apparently lacks adoration for its own brainchild.
A recent New York Times Op-Ed argued the Dove firming product doesn’t live up to its claims — that is, it won’t help firm fat. Here’s yet another contradiction to the notion of being real. And if real beauty should be cherished and unretouched, why hawk snake oil designed to hide the truth?
To contrast and compare, the infamous Miller Beer Catfight bimbos also garnered raves and controversy from American audiences — but miserable sales. Despite Dove’s contention that the Real Beauty campaign is getting positive responses, it will be interesting to see if it generates real profits. Situations turn infinitely real in shareholder meetings when discussions lead to the almighty ROI.
Finally, it’s all so damned cynical when you consider Dove’s parent company. Unilever has plenty of products still merrily showcasing the regular beauty imagery and models. Dove boasts about flipping the script, but the brand can’t persuade its own corporate sisters to join the revolution.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Essay 118
Saturday Night Jive with MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• Weekend Update with Rev. James Meeks and the Chicago Police Department: Chicago Police Supt. Phil Cline reported that Meeks’ version of the incident appears to be more accurate than a later statement made by an unnamed police source detailing the allegedly abusive cop’s story. Specifically, Meeks’ bodyguards arrived well after the cop had drawn his pistol and cursed at Meeks. The cop claimed he pulled his gun because he was intimidated when physically confronted by Meeks and his bodyguards. “The information provided by the unnamed high-ranking police source is not accurate,” Cline stated. “The car did not come up while the officer was making the stop. It came up later on. (The bodyguards) weren’t there during the initial stop.”
• The Philadelphia woman whose month-long disappearance sparked debate over media bias has been found murdered. Police recovered the remains of 24-year-old LaToyia Figueroa, and an ex-lover has been charged with her murder. Figueroa’s story became another example for the argument that certain groups — especially Hispanics and Blacks — do not receive the same media attention when individuals go missing. Even nutcases like runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks get national coverage, while countless minorities are virtually ignored.
• “Respect, sensitivity and courtesy must be the product of our ongoing efforts, not a code of politically correct terminology,” stated New York Governor George Pataki. He was commenting on a bill that sought to require using politically correct terms in new laws, regulations and assorted legal stuff when referring to folks with disabilities. Pataki vetoed the bill, citing the standards presented were too “vague and subjective.”
• Arizona joined New Mexico to officially increase efforts to deal with illegal immigration, beefing up border patrols and more. Arizona set a new death rate record for illegal immigrants — in the past year, 201 men, women and children have perished in the Arizona elements while attempting to cross the border. Since October 2004, over 500,000 folks have been caught trying to sneak into the state. Officials can’t even begin to guess how many have actually succeeded.
• DC Comics are clearly not AC/DC. A Manhattan art gallery is facing potential legal trouble for exhibiting work depicting homoerotic images of Batman and Robin. The watercolor paintings were created by artist Mark Chamberlain, and pieces have already sold via the Internet at artnet.com. DC Comics is seeking to halt all sales from the art gallery and Internet site. Guess they’re not ready to let the Dynamic Duo out of the Batcloset.
• Weekend Update with Rev. James Meeks and the Chicago Police Department: Chicago Police Supt. Phil Cline reported that Meeks’ version of the incident appears to be more accurate than a later statement made by an unnamed police source detailing the allegedly abusive cop’s story. Specifically, Meeks’ bodyguards arrived well after the cop had drawn his pistol and cursed at Meeks. The cop claimed he pulled his gun because he was intimidated when physically confronted by Meeks and his bodyguards. “The information provided by the unnamed high-ranking police source is not accurate,” Cline stated. “The car did not come up while the officer was making the stop. It came up later on. (The bodyguards) weren’t there during the initial stop.”
• The Philadelphia woman whose month-long disappearance sparked debate over media bias has been found murdered. Police recovered the remains of 24-year-old LaToyia Figueroa, and an ex-lover has been charged with her murder. Figueroa’s story became another example for the argument that certain groups — especially Hispanics and Blacks — do not receive the same media attention when individuals go missing. Even nutcases like runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks get national coverage, while countless minorities are virtually ignored.
• “Respect, sensitivity and courtesy must be the product of our ongoing efforts, not a code of politically correct terminology,” stated New York Governor George Pataki. He was commenting on a bill that sought to require using politically correct terms in new laws, regulations and assorted legal stuff when referring to folks with disabilities. Pataki vetoed the bill, citing the standards presented were too “vague and subjective.”
• Arizona joined New Mexico to officially increase efforts to deal with illegal immigration, beefing up border patrols and more. Arizona set a new death rate record for illegal immigrants — in the past year, 201 men, women and children have perished in the Arizona elements while attempting to cross the border. Since October 2004, over 500,000 folks have been caught trying to sneak into the state. Officials can’t even begin to guess how many have actually succeeded.
• DC Comics are clearly not AC/DC. A Manhattan art gallery is facing potential legal trouble for exhibiting work depicting homoerotic images of Batman and Robin. The watercolor paintings were created by artist Mark Chamberlain, and pieces have already sold via the Internet at artnet.com. DC Comics is seeking to halt all sales from the art gallery and Internet site. Guess they’re not ready to let the Dynamic Duo out of the Batcloset.
Friday, August 19, 2005
Essay 117
Late-aching news wired from MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• The latest He Said, He Said in the Rev. James Meeks traffic-stop-turns-into-racial-profiling incident: Now Meeks is disputing the cop’s version of the story (see Essay 116). According to a police official, the cop claimed he pulled his revolver because he felt intimidated when physically confronted by Meeks and two bodyguards. But Meeks insisted the bodyguards showed up well after the cop drew his firearm. In fact, Meeks said he had already returned to his car when the bodyguards arrived. A source close to the allegedly offending cop supported Meeks’ recollection of the timeline. Stay tuned.
• The latest He Wrote, He Wrote in the Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts incident: Now it seems like folks are desperate to dig up dirt on the candidate. The latest scandal focuses on a 1984 scenario where Roberts penned recommendations denying Michael Jackson a presidential letter for the singer’s work against drunk driving and giving concert tickets to needy kids. In light of Jackson’s ultimate alleged actions involving kids — including charges that the King of Pop served booze to youngsters — Roberts looks like a prophetic genius.
• The latest Arnold Schwarzenegger Action Move: California politicians are asking Governor Terminator to declare an emergency for the state’s border with Mexico. Arizona and New Mexico have already done so, hoping to cope with illegal immigration. For now, Schwarzenegger refuses to tell immigrants, “Hasta la vista, baby.”
• The latest rapper rehab program: Eminem checked into a hospital to get treatment for sleep medication dependency. Don’t sleep on this. Slim Shady claimed he’s got, “8 miles to go before I sleep.”
• The latest He Said, He Said in the Rev. James Meeks traffic-stop-turns-into-racial-profiling incident: Now Meeks is disputing the cop’s version of the story (see Essay 116). According to a police official, the cop claimed he pulled his revolver because he felt intimidated when physically confronted by Meeks and two bodyguards. But Meeks insisted the bodyguards showed up well after the cop drew his firearm. In fact, Meeks said he had already returned to his car when the bodyguards arrived. A source close to the allegedly offending cop supported Meeks’ recollection of the timeline. Stay tuned.
• The latest He Wrote, He Wrote in the Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts incident: Now it seems like folks are desperate to dig up dirt on the candidate. The latest scandal focuses on a 1984 scenario where Roberts penned recommendations denying Michael Jackson a presidential letter for the singer’s work against drunk driving and giving concert tickets to needy kids. In light of Jackson’s ultimate alleged actions involving kids — including charges that the King of Pop served booze to youngsters — Roberts looks like a prophetic genius.
• The latest Arnold Schwarzenegger Action Move: California politicians are asking Governor Terminator to declare an emergency for the state’s border with Mexico. Arizona and New Mexico have already done so, hoping to cope with illegal immigration. For now, Schwarzenegger refuses to tell immigrants, “Hasta la vista, baby.”
• The latest rapper rehab program: Eminem checked into a hospital to get treatment for sleep medication dependency. Don’t sleep on this. Slim Shady claimed he’s got, “8 miles to go before I sleep.”
Essay 116
Have a nice weekend with MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• A judge in Philadelphia declared rapper Cassidy can only be tried for third-degree murder, not first-degree murder. Damn, hope that doesn’t negatively impact CD sales.
• Now comes the other side of the story involving Rev. James Meeks and an allegedly racist cop. Meeks had insisted being the victim of racial profiling when a traffic stop resulted in the officer using profanity and ultimately drawing his revolver. But the officer told a different tale. The cop was apparently intimidated when Meeks’ bodyguards arrived in a third car. They reportedly exited their vehicle and approached the confrontation between Meeks and the officer. It was at this point that the cop brandished his firearm. Police Department sources are backing their own, declaring others have rushed to judgment. Count on this scenario getting nastier before it’s all over.
• Jewish folks in Orange County felt dissed over the scheduling of a special election to replace Rep. Chris Cox. Officials announced the election would happen on December 6, with the special primary taking place on October 4. According to the governor’s office, the dates cannot be changed. However, the primary election will happen during Rosh Hashana — plus, it also coincides with the first day of Ramadan. There are about 100,000 Jewish voters in OC, and many are now PO’d. One reason for deciding to hold the primary on October 4: the next alternative date would have conflicted with Thanksgiving.
• Jewish groups aren’t the only folks unhappy in Orange County. Add parents and players in the local kids’ football programs. The source of irritation in this scenario is none other than Snoop Dogg. Mr. Dogg has formed his own league, recruiting kids from other teams. Of course, the competitors are whining over alleged disrespect for tradition, as football is a serious thang in the region. The Snoop Youth Football League offers plenty of perks, including a tricked-out bus with TVs and stereo systems. Bet the post-game parties are cool too.
• A judge in Philadelphia declared rapper Cassidy can only be tried for third-degree murder, not first-degree murder. Damn, hope that doesn’t negatively impact CD sales.
• Now comes the other side of the story involving Rev. James Meeks and an allegedly racist cop. Meeks had insisted being the victim of racial profiling when a traffic stop resulted in the officer using profanity and ultimately drawing his revolver. But the officer told a different tale. The cop was apparently intimidated when Meeks’ bodyguards arrived in a third car. They reportedly exited their vehicle and approached the confrontation between Meeks and the officer. It was at this point that the cop brandished his firearm. Police Department sources are backing their own, declaring others have rushed to judgment. Count on this scenario getting nastier before it’s all over.
• Jewish folks in Orange County felt dissed over the scheduling of a special election to replace Rep. Chris Cox. Officials announced the election would happen on December 6, with the special primary taking place on October 4. According to the governor’s office, the dates cannot be changed. However, the primary election will happen during Rosh Hashana — plus, it also coincides with the first day of Ramadan. There are about 100,000 Jewish voters in OC, and many are now PO’d. One reason for deciding to hold the primary on October 4: the next alternative date would have conflicted with Thanksgiving.
• Jewish groups aren’t the only folks unhappy in Orange County. Add parents and players in the local kids’ football programs. The source of irritation in this scenario is none other than Snoop Dogg. Mr. Dogg has formed his own league, recruiting kids from other teams. Of course, the competitors are whining over alleged disrespect for tradition, as football is a serious thang in the region. The Snoop Youth Football League offers plenty of perks, including a tricked-out bus with TVs and stereo systems. Bet the post-game parties are cool too.
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Essay 115
Bills, bills, bills. A customer in Illinois complained about her Comcast service to company representatives. She then received a bill addressed to “Bitch Dog” from the provider. After plenty of media attention, Comcast officials are on full-tilt damage control, firing the offending employees and falling over themselves with apologies. Another Illinois resident received bills from Peoples Energy addressed to “Scrotum Bag.” Wonder what services the utility was charging for in this case. Meanwhile, two diners in New Jersey received their restaurant bill and noticed the waitress had written a note at the bottom of the check: Jew Couple. Now that’s not kosher. And better keep a copy of your bill at Chuck E. Cheese’s. A customer in Colorado was accused of stealing a salad for which he had actually paid, and during an ensuing argument, police zapped him with a Taser. It’s where a kid can be a kid — plus watch dad get lit up like a pinball machine.
Essay 114
Delayed reactions with MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• Georgia law officials decided to pardon Black maid Lena Baker for killing a White guy — 60 years after the state executed Baker in the electric chair for the crime. Justice delayed is justice denied. Or just a death sentence, in this case.
• Louis Farrakhan agreed with Mexico’s President Vicente Fox for saying Mexicans take the jobs “not even Blacks want.” Farrakhan continued that Blacks don’t want to pick fruit because they’ve already “picked enough cotton.” Next, Farrakhan will present a stirring tribute to Memin Pinguin.
• Mexicans also agreed with Farrakhan and Fox, based on surveys conducted by the Pew Hispanic Center. Over 40% of Mexican adults would come to the U.S. if possible — and 20% would willingly take an illegal route. For Mexican college graduates, the numbers are also high. Over 33% want to leave, and one of eight are ready to go illegally. Maybe Farrakhan should organize a Million Mexican Man March.
• Michael Jackson didn’t show up to court wearing pajamas. He just didn’t show up at all. Jackson faces a civil suit from a New Orleans man who claimed the King of Pop sexually assaulted him in 1984. That was the year Jackson’s hair was set on fire during a Pepsi commercial shoot. Given Jackson’s multiple facial transformations since then, it’s unlikely the victim could make a positive ID now.
• A bunch of ecologists want to bring African animals to live in North America. Wonder how PETA would react to this scenario — by comparing the transported critters to slave ships?
• Georgia law officials decided to pardon Black maid Lena Baker for killing a White guy — 60 years after the state executed Baker in the electric chair for the crime. Justice delayed is justice denied. Or just a death sentence, in this case.
• Louis Farrakhan agreed with Mexico’s President Vicente Fox for saying Mexicans take the jobs “not even Blacks want.” Farrakhan continued that Blacks don’t want to pick fruit because they’ve already “picked enough cotton.” Next, Farrakhan will present a stirring tribute to Memin Pinguin.
• Mexicans also agreed with Farrakhan and Fox, based on surveys conducted by the Pew Hispanic Center. Over 40% of Mexican adults would come to the U.S. if possible — and 20% would willingly take an illegal route. For Mexican college graduates, the numbers are also high. Over 33% want to leave, and one of eight are ready to go illegally. Maybe Farrakhan should organize a Million Mexican Man March.
• Michael Jackson didn’t show up to court wearing pajamas. He just didn’t show up at all. Jackson faces a civil suit from a New Orleans man who claimed the King of Pop sexually assaulted him in 1984. That was the year Jackson’s hair was set on fire during a Pepsi commercial shoot. Given Jackson’s multiple facial transformations since then, it’s unlikely the victim could make a positive ID now.
• A bunch of ecologists want to bring African animals to live in North America. Wonder how PETA would react to this scenario — by comparing the transported critters to slave ships?
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Essay 113
Now comes word that Nike is jumping on the Dove bandwagon with a new campaign targeting women. Not sure why folks continue to speak in awe over the Dove work. For a different perspective, view an essay by MultiCultClassics Member (title awarded to all blog visitors) mr. hustleknocker. It appears at Knockthehustlechronicles.blogspot.com — along with a response by MultiCultClassics.
See “Dove, schmove…” dated Saturday, August 06, 2005 at Knockthehustlechronicles.blogspot.com
See “Dove, schmove…” dated Saturday, August 06, 2005 at Knockthehustlechronicles.blogspot.com
Monday, August 15, 2005
Essay 112
Don’t mess with MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• Don’t mess with Texas. A neighbor of President Bush caused a ruckus by shooting his rifle in the air, probably frustrated over the throngs of anti-war protesters at Bush’s ranch. The police and Secret Service declined to arrest the gun-toting moron, who cracked he was merely preparing for dove-hunting season. Can’t help but think authorities would have responded differently if the neighbor had any other skin tone.
• Don’t mess with the chef. The White House finally made an official appointment that has not yet created controversy. First Lady Laura Bush named Cristeta Comerford executive chef. Comerford is the first female and minority (a naturalized U.S. citizen from the Philippines) to hold the post. She is advised to wear a protective vest when preparing dinner for the neighbors.
• Don’t mess with gay pride. Roberto Hernandez cashed in by coming out of the closet. In 2002 a Spanish-language radio show revealed Hernandez was a homosexual during a live broadcast — without his permission. The incident prompted Hernandez to go straight. Straight to a lawyer, that is. After legal negotiations, Hernandez ultimately received nearly $270,000 in total damages from Univision Radio.
• Don’t mess White pride. White supremacists are close to qualifying for ballot access in Nevada elections. If successful, the National Vanguard will be the country’s only party with a racist platform. Not counting certain segments of the Republican Party.
• Don’t mess with the justice system. Or technically, don’t get caught messing with the justice system. The U.S. Supreme Court overturned a murder conviction after discovering attorneys used a how-to manual for keeping minorities from acting as jurors. Jon Sparling, a top assistant to District Attorney Henry Wade, wrote the manual in 1969 — and it was used for over 20 years. Instructions included:
“You are not looking for any member of a minority group which may subject him to oppression — they almost always empathize with the accused.”
“Look for physical afflictions. These people usually sympathize with the accused.”
“Extremely overweight people, especially women and young women, indicate a lack of self-discipline and often times instability. I like the lean and hungry look.”
Sparling is now retired, but when probed about the manual in 2002 by the New York Times, he claimed he had written it “informally and quickly, without being careful of his words.” Funny, it looks like he was extraordinarily careful with his words. Oh, by the way… this entire mess happened in Texas.
• Don’t mess with Texas. A neighbor of President Bush caused a ruckus by shooting his rifle in the air, probably frustrated over the throngs of anti-war protesters at Bush’s ranch. The police and Secret Service declined to arrest the gun-toting moron, who cracked he was merely preparing for dove-hunting season. Can’t help but think authorities would have responded differently if the neighbor had any other skin tone.
• Don’t mess with the chef. The White House finally made an official appointment that has not yet created controversy. First Lady Laura Bush named Cristeta Comerford executive chef. Comerford is the first female and minority (a naturalized U.S. citizen from the Philippines) to hold the post. She is advised to wear a protective vest when preparing dinner for the neighbors.
• Don’t mess with gay pride. Roberto Hernandez cashed in by coming out of the closet. In 2002 a Spanish-language radio show revealed Hernandez was a homosexual during a live broadcast — without his permission. The incident prompted Hernandez to go straight. Straight to a lawyer, that is. After legal negotiations, Hernandez ultimately received nearly $270,000 in total damages from Univision Radio.
• Don’t mess White pride. White supremacists are close to qualifying for ballot access in Nevada elections. If successful, the National Vanguard will be the country’s only party with a racist platform. Not counting certain segments of the Republican Party.
• Don’t mess with the justice system. Or technically, don’t get caught messing with the justice system. The U.S. Supreme Court overturned a murder conviction after discovering attorneys used a how-to manual for keeping minorities from acting as jurors. Jon Sparling, a top assistant to District Attorney Henry Wade, wrote the manual in 1969 — and it was used for over 20 years. Instructions included:
“You are not looking for any member of a minority group which may subject him to oppression — they almost always empathize with the accused.”
“Look for physical afflictions. These people usually sympathize with the accused.”
“Extremely overweight people, especially women and young women, indicate a lack of self-discipline and often times instability. I like the lean and hungry look.”
Sparling is now retired, but when probed about the manual in 2002 by the New York Times, he claimed he had written it “informally and quickly, without being careful of his words.” Funny, it looks like he was extraordinarily careful with his words. Oh, by the way… this entire mess happened in Texas.
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