Friday, June 23, 2006

Essay 724


MultiCultClassics rolls with Cars & Colored Folks…

Mr. Goodwrench can now help with your family reunion? Maybe the campaign will extend with Mr. Goodwrench lending a hand at graduations, barbecues and double-dutching — plus, he can DJ to appeal to the youth market.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Essay 723


Bad Boys in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen was fined and ordered to attend sensitivity training after referring to a sports columnist as a [bleeping] fag (see Essay 720). “Ozzie Guillen used language that is offensive and completely unacceptable,” said MLB Commissioner Bud Selig. “Baseball is a social institution with responsibility to set appropriate tone and example. Conduct or language that reflects otherwise will not be tolerated. The use of slurs embarrasses the individual, the club and the game.” Um, does Selig realize he’s running one of the most racist professional sports leagues — and it’s also mired in never-ending steroids scandals?

• Rapper-actor DMX ran into trouble with the law again. He was cited for packing a concealed weapon after cops spied him removing a pistol from its holster outside an Arizona nightclub. Hey, maybe DMX was planning to help the National Guard secure the border against illegal immigrants.

• House Republicans nixed voting to renew the Voting Rights Act, deciding to postpone things while they review complaints from colleagues. Party members argue the law unfairly targets Southern states with additional oversight, and Georgia’s Republican congressman is pushing an amendment designed to give his state greater authority to revise their voting rules. But opponents insist the Southern states have earned the added scrutiny through their historically racist behavior. Somebody send Ozzie Guillen and DMX to address the conservative lawmakers.

Essay 722


More comments in response to the AdAge.com article appearing in Essay 708…

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>Shame on Don Richards of the Four A’s for saying, “There are more pressing issues (than diversity at agencies): profit margins, compensation, and an overall talent drain from the industry. I don’t believe that agencies shy away from trying to get minority employees. But it is more in the middle of things that keep agencies awake at night than a top priority.” (Ad Age, June 19, 2006) It is just that type of backwards logic that has resulted in the current state of affairs in the industry. If agencies do not seriously embrace diversity there will be no replacements for those exiting the industry, therefore resulting in decreased profits and ultimately lower compensation for those remaining. Wake up! Within the next 10 to 20 years nearly half of the population will be black and brown. How can you purport to create messages that speak to diverse populations if management and the majority of your employees come from a homogenous pool? If the agencies and media properties that they advertise in do not quickly begin to reflect the population outside of their offices these organizations will have more to worry about more than profit margins and compensation. The issue will then be their ultimate survival. Mariama Todd Meredith Corporation — NY, NY

>Well, hope this trend changes in the future. This is quite disheartening for students in MBA programs who do not care about the pay package, but who enter advertising for the love of the profession. I’ve worked as a Senior Account Manager in advertising firms in India for 3 years, working for the likes of Mediaedge and Universal McCann and have just moved into the Temple MBA Program last year, and my hope was to get into the advertising industry as soon as I graduated. I hope this trend changes a bit. This is the 1st article I’ve read today morning and I feel really down:( — Philadelphia, PA

>I’m a 55-year-old Latino marketing executive with 30 years of in house positions under my belt. The few times during my career when I did interview with agencies (admittedly I stopped interviewing with agencies in the mid-80’s) the response I got was perfunctory and dismissive. There were never any other minorities in the agencies ostensibly interviewing me, and I wondered why they had bothered to talk to me at all — then I remembered I probably helped their EEO/AA reporting. Sounds like the industry has not changed much. kenpodo@aol.com — GARDEN CITY, NY

>Great article and something that I have been complaining about to my peers for quite some time. It’s not like multicultural employees cannot contribute to a general market audience. I actually wrote a short rant about this very topic on my blog a while back and got engaged in some intense discussion with a handful of creative folk on Adrants. The following is a copy of the article: So ... here I am going through my daily Adrants email when I came upon the headline: “White” agencies are biased, greedy, stupid. Of course in order for this to be the first non-agency post on my site it must have been something that really burns my ass. Firstly, why are there multicultural agencies in the first place? If there is ever going to be racial equality or one America, shouldn’t we first be able to hire multicultural people to do general market advertising? Let’s think about this for a minute, would agency A (white agency) have to hire agency B (multicultural agency) to do a promotion for a hispanic market product if we had the same multicultural people in creative and planning positions in agency A? Which at that point would just be called an “ad agency” — go figure. Does this continued polarization of the American public have to be aided by the so called ad agencies and media of the country? Although done innocently. And it’s not only the “white” agencies’ fault, I know I couldn’t get a job at one of the multinational agencies in Miami if I didn’t speak spanish, now what am I to do if I wanted the multinational agency experience, and the multicultural agencies don’t want to hire me because I don’t fit into that exact multicultural target. And multinationals just don’t hire the multicultural staff (some less than others). Be it because of available talent or necessity. I love when people rant on about all the issues but continue to proliferate the issues, by further segmenting the problem, why can’t we just come up with a possible and optimistic solution. Its like religion (I know I shouldn’t go there, but I am), how many new churches open up every day by someone who says I know a better way, my translation of the word of God in whatever denomination is right and a bunch of people go off and follow. Is that really spreading the good news or further segmenting that particular religion? Can’t we just try to fix the problem inside whatever place of worship or agency we are involved in, instead of forcing people to go off and create their “own” thing to target their “own” people. Isn’t “own” a pretty selfish word? (own — adj. Of or belonging to oneself or itself). Let’s take for instance Trinidad, the country is made pretty much up of 39.6% African and 40.3% East Indian. But yet there is not a separate advertisement for East Indians and Africans. Hmmmm, why is that? Should they now have an East Indian Ad agency and an African agency as well? When can we as a people learn that people are people, we have different backgrounds and cultures but we all exist on the same planet and have to interact with each other daily, we all eat very similar foods (although we try to say we don’t), and listen to very similar music (although we try to say we don’t). I heard a “white” guy blaring “Laffy Taffy” in his chrome rimmed car. And I love Gretchen Wilson’s “All jacked up” and I am black. Can we all just get along? Can there be an agency that does just as targeted work for the hispanic as they do for the caucasian? Can an agency have a multicultural ECD and a caucasian CD? Can a multicultural agency wrap itself into an already established multinational (which should equal to multicultural)? Don’t we all have the same cable companies that offer pretty much the same shows — so the hispanic and the african american is watching the same Desperate Housewives episode (I know I tune in for Eva, and Nicollette) Does an african american show always have to be a comedy? Don’t get me wrong the shows are good, but come on ... every show! Does COPS always have to show “poor” black, white and hispanic people? Common denominator here “poor.” At least here it’s not a race thing! o.k. I’m done for now. Got that off my chest ... thanks, Hadji. So here is my solution, as I believe firmly in the saying if you are not part of the solution you are part of the problem. Can we get one multinational agency to hire multicultural staff and offer the client (remember the people you are trying to do the best work for) a multicultural creative offering that appeals to everyone all in house? Sorry, had to look up multicultural because I forgot what it really meant: mul·ti·cul·tur·al Pronunciation Key (mlt-klchr-l, -t-) adj. — Of, relating to, or including several cultures. Since when did culture mean only hispanic/african american and asian? Regards, chief creative altruist — Fort Lauderdale, FL

>There may be some continuing truth to Harold Levine’s experience in the ‘60s -- shops further afield from the historical center of the industry, either psychologically or geographically, seem to be more open environments. Our agency of 30-some people in Cleveland, Ohio has hired African Americans, Indians and Pakistanis in recent years, simply because they were talented people who we believed could help us do better work. And that, after all, is the real issue every agency should be concerned with. By the way, I also agree with Jack Lindgren -- of more than 100 advertising students I have taught at a large public university in the last three years, only three have been minority students. Incidentally, two of those three were among the most talented students I’ve had the pleasure to know. — Cleveland, OH

>This is a sad, but sobering article. My personal experience as a minority seeking employment in the advertising industry has been full of challenges and some questionable situations. Unfortunately, this is the state we are in and I feel many talented persons have been lost to other industries because of racism. Another great source on this topic is a discussion on NPR.org. Ed Gordon’s News and Notes June 13th show “Black Voices missing on Madison Avenue” examines the issue deeply and references Allen Pugh, Vice President of GlobalHue. Continue to encourage open dialogue and God Bless. — Cincinnati, OH

Essay 721


MultiCultClassics rolls with Cars & Colored Folks…

Earlier this year, Sony was dissed for its graffiti-style PlayStation Portable campaign. Community and political leaders were offended by the tagger imagery. Taggers thought Sony was trying too hard. This Xplod Audio ad may inspire similar eye-rolling reactions from its intended target, especially with the copy: “It’s how you roll. … PS Turbo Cones keep every beat bumpin.’ And Sony’s new amps power up the sickest rhymes. It’s a total system for the tightest sound.” Word.

Meanwhile, the Cooper Zeon XST has been named “The Official Tire Of The Streets.” According to the copy, “Zeons handle. Zeons Grip. And they look tight doing it.” Yo, they’re the perfect complement to Sony Xplod Audio.

Essay 720


Daily dissing in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen (pictured above) is taking heat for calling sports columnist Jay Mariotti a [bleeping] fag. Guillen has been known to launch profanity-filled tirades. Delivering an apology, the fiery skipper said, “The word I used, I should have used something different. A lot of people’s feelings were hurt and I didn’t mean it that way.” Given the animosity that Guillen and most Chicago sports fans have for Mariotti, the manager probably should have opted for the more appropriate “fucking jerk-off.”

• Now AT&T is changing its privacy policy, telling customers that it may disclose Internet and television records to government and law enforcement agencies. The company’s tagline — “Your world. Delivered.” — gets new meaning every day.

• Coretta King’s elder son now says it was a “big mistake” to stop Harry Belafonte from speaking at his mother’s funeral. While Belafonte charged the Bush administration with influencing the decision to rescind his invitation to the ceremony, King’s son denied it. “There was a big mix-up,” King said. “It certainly didn’t have anything to do with President Bush being there.” Guess Bush didn’t sing, “Daylight come and me wan’ Harry go home.”

• A New York City Council member proposed limiting the number of fast food joints in areas where there are youth obesity problems. The council member declared, “We have to be as strong with obesity as with the cigarette campaign. More people die from obesity-related issues than smoking cigarettes.” Yeah, but kids will die of embarrassment after being identified as living in fatso neighborhoods.

Essay 719


MultiCultClassics rolls with Cars & Colored Folks…

S.U.V.I.P. seems to clash with “THE BIGGEST, BADDEST BENZ EVER.” But the creative team probably needed something to give the ad Black appeal.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Essay 718


Conquests and casinos in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Mickey D’s is trying to take over the planet. Already the fast food leader in most civilized countries, the burger behemoth is aiming to conquer China. One key tactic involves a partnership with China’s largest gasoline retailer to capitalize on drive-through service. Their tagline could be, “Get more gas.” In China, Mickey D’s is currently a distant second to Kentucky Fried Chicken. Guess “Chicken Capital U.S.A.” extends far beyond the U.S.A.

• Last year, American Indian casinos revenue grew to about $23 billion — expanding over three times quicker than traditional gambling operations. The surge is linked to greater offerings at existing casinos and increased marketing efforts that include Las Vegas-inspired attractions. This is the 10th consecutive year where revenue jumped about 15 percent. Mickey D’s ought to hire some American Indians to oversee operations in China.

Essay 717


MultiCultClassics rolls with Cars & Colored Folks…

DaimlerChrysler autoworkers show off their pride, although the awkward posing fails to show off the car.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Essay 716


After two days, a measly two comments were posted in response to the AdAge.com report presented in Essay 708…

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> It's extremely disheartening that this article and some quoted in it make it seem like the advertising industry can choose to simply use minority-staffed contractors instead of hiring minorities onto their staff. That mentality is indeed racist because it assumes that minorities can only contribute when doing multicultural advertising or marketing. In reality, minorities, like anyone else, can provide great insight and ideas to any client — not just ones looking to target minorities. Ad agencies should evaluate minorities the same way they evaluate anyone else applying for the same job and hire them based on their intelligence, experience and qualifications to add to their pool of talent — not just because they may be able to advertise or relate to other people of the same skin color. ~ Chavon Mitchell, Northlich, Inc. Cincinnati –Cincinnati, OH

> Great article on a topic that so many skirt around because it takes them out of their comfort zone. As a minority manager in advertising (the only in my division of 300 employees), I have to say that this article rings true and that as far as we’ve come, we’ve still got a way to go. — Deerfield Beach, FL

Essay 715


MultiCultClassics rolls with Cars & Colored Folks…

No collection of Black ads for rides would be complete without an ad for rims. Davin keeps it simple with limited edition rims and a standard edition hottie.

Essay 714


Quick hits and minor assaults in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Forget climbing fences and ladders. The latest trend for illegal immigrants involves sneaking into the U.S. inside cars and trucks. According to a story in The Washington Post, “[Illegal immigrants] cram themselves into empty gas tanks, hollowed-out dashboards and even engines. Others hide inside cargo, from piñatas to washing machines.” Let’s hope they’re using American-made vehicles.

• It’s not over yet for Rep. Cynthia McKinney (see Essay 699). Capitol police union officials are pissed off that a grand jury decided against indicting McKinney for assaulting an officer. So they’re asking the House ethics committee to review the incident. McKinney did not return calls for a statement. She was probably using her cell phone to beat someone.

Essay 713


MultiCultClassics rolls with Cars & Colored Folks…

Nissan temporarily abandons the Black ad clichés for general-market ad clichés with this “identical twins” concept. Is it progress or pathetic? And should somebody hook up these brothas with the Doublemint twins?

Monday, June 19, 2006

Essay 712


From the latest issue of Newsweek…

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Chappelle: A Dozen Skits, a Million Questions

On July 9, Comedy Central will air what it’s calling “Chappelle’s Show: The Lost Episodes,” but that must be a typo. These are really the last episodes, as in the dozen skits Dave Chappelle had filmed before he went crazy or to Africa or wherever he went after he walked away from his $55 million (or so) contract. Chappelle himself had nothing to do with this salvage job; in fact, the two blues guys who croon the “Chappelle’s Show” theme stop, hilariously, and say: “I don’t think he’s comin’.” “When each sketch is over, I still expect to see Dave come running out,” says “Chappelle’s Show” co-creator Neal Brennan, who packaged these three shows. “You still kind of hope it’s a joke and he’s not really gone.”

The sketches themselves are just as topical and subversive as ever. There’s one where Dave is at a party dancing to posthumous Tupac music that’s suspiciously prescient. Another features Chappelle as the host of “Hip Hop Newsbreak” in the kind of extreme whiteface no one else would dare. But the most interesting pieces feature Chappelle as himself, including one where various people grossly overcharge him now that he’s a millionaire and another where he exacts revenge on people who didn’t take him seriously before he hit it big. Only Chappelle knows exactly why he left the show, but his own fame was clearly heavy on his mind.

—Marc Peyser

Essay 711


MultiCultClassics rolls with Cars & Colored Folks…

Here’s another Dodge ad proclaiming, “Respect the unexpected.”

OK, but it’s hard to respect the art direction and copywriting.

Essay 710


Delayed reactions to the AdAge.com story posted in Essay 708…

>>The New York City Commission on Human Rights investigation into Madison Avenue’s hiring practices has stirred a maelstrom of emotional discussion around that one big question -- and this time around, industry leaders hope that the discussion might just last long enough to yield some solutions.

[Delayed reaction: Um, it looks like only minority industry leaders hope the discussion will last long and lead to progress.]

>>Renetta McCann said, “In my 28 years, I’ve had about five substantial conversations on the issue of racial diversity in advertising. That’s about one every five years.”

[Delayed reaction: Yo, that’s still five more than the 4As and AAF have had — combined.]

>>Others cite a rule intended to fuel diversity -- government mandates that minority contracts be afforded only to minority-owned agencies -- as hampering it, leaving general-market agencies to decide if it’s in their best interests to work with minority-staffed agencies rather staff up with nonwhites themselves.

[Delayed reaction: That’s possibly the lamest excuse offered to date.]

>>“There’s not a lot of desire by [general-market] agencies to become more integrated,” admitted Don Richards, senior VP-agency diversity at the American Association of Advertising Agencies.

[Delayed reaction: Nice to hear this coming from a man whose primary goal is to ignite change. Then again, Richards spent many years at Leo Burnett failing to inspire diversity. Wonder why anyone thought he’d be more successful on a global scale.]

>>Sheldon Fischer, CEO of consulting firm GoldenKnock/Pipeline International, chairman of the Four A’s diversity advisory board recruitment subcommittee, and an adviser to Operation Success, called it “a Crackerjack box that turned out to be empty. No prize, nothing to eat.”

[Delayed reaction: Actually, it’s more appropriate to call it a Cracker box.]

>>Others maintain that the number of African-Americans interested in the business is small. Several respondents to a March AdAge.com poll reported that in their college classes, few African-Americans enrolled in advertising courses.

[Delayed reaction: Let’s not confuse end results with root causes. Low interest is fueled by high exclusivity/racism.]

>>Some observers point out that to win large government contracts, general-market agencies must work with minority-owned vendors, so it is in general market agencies’ interests to work with the best minority-staffed agencies rather than staff up with minorities themselves.

[Delayed reaction: That rivals the lamest excuse offered to date. Plus, the majority of minority-staffed agencies rarely feel like they’re working with general-market agencies in these scenarios — rather, they’re literally and figuratively relegated to being the minority partner.]

Essay 709


A full-time mess in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The New York Times reported on the growing complexities of illegal immigrants working in the U.S. The story stated, “In contrast to the typical image of an illegal immigrant — paid in cash, working under the table for small-scale labor contractors on a California farm or a suburban construction site — a majority now work for mainstream companies, not fly-by-night operators, and are hired and paid like any other American worker.” Additionally, “More than half of the estimated seven million immigrants toiling illegally in the United States get a regular paycheck every week or two, experts say. At the end of the year they receive a W-2 form. Come April 15, many file income tax returns using special ID numbers issued by the Internal Revenue Service so foreigners can pay taxes. Some even get a refund check in the mail.” Click on the essay title above for all the details.

• The Washington Post reported that employers are rarely penalized for hiring illegal workers. According to the story, “In 1999, the United States initiated fines against 417 companies. In 2004, it issued fine notices to three.” A spokesperson for an advocacy group backing stricter workplace enforcement said, “The claims of [the Bush administration] and its commitment to interior enforcement of immigration laws are laughable. … The administration only discovered immigration enforcement over the past few months, five years into its existence, and only then because they realized that a pro-enforcement pose was necessary to get their amnesty plan approved.” Plus, they didn’t want to lose their landscapers.

Essay 708


From AdAge.com…

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Advertising: An Industry Still So White, but Few Will Discuss It

Ad-World Culture and Pay Scale Hurt Minority Recruitment

By Lisa Sanders


NEW YORK (AdAge.com) -- Want to know why there are so few black employees in the ad business? Look to its roots, culture and compensation practices.

The New York City Commission on Human Rights investigation into Madison Avenue’s hiring practices has stirred a maelstrom of emotional discussion around that one big question -- and this time around, industry leaders hope that the discussion might just last long enough to yield some solutions.

Comfort levels
“Curiously, while we operate in an industry that prides itself on participating in the cultural zeitgeist, if you will, we are not an industry that is tremendously comfortable with differences,” said Renetta McCann, CEO, Starcom MediaVest Group. Ms. McCann, one of the top-ranked black women in the business, notes that historically, the industry has not had a huge appetite for this issue. “In my 28 years, I’ve had about five substantial conversations on the issue of racial diversity in advertising. That’s about one every five years.”

Indeed, few executives in the business are willing to go near the subject and several of those who commented for this story chose to do so anonymously. But the wide spectrum of reasons they cite range from nepotism -- or what might even be called institutional racism, (a business that started as a white business that’s continued to hire its own) -- to inertia and clients’ indifference to the issue. Some also believe the problem has to do with advertising’s inability to compete with better-paying industries for the most qualified candidates.

Minority-owned agencies
Others cite a rule intended to fuel diversity -- government mandates that minority contracts be afforded only to minority-owned agencies -- as hampering it, leaving general-market agencies to decide if it’s in their best interests to work with minority-staffed agencies rather staff up with nonwhites themselves.

But while opinions vary, one thing seems clear: Were there no pressure on agencies by a government authority, agencies would be unlikely to take action. “There’s not a lot of desire by [general-market] agencies to become more integrated,” admitted Don Richards, senior VP-agency diversity at the American Association of Advertising Agencies. “There are more pressing issues: profit margins, compensation, and an overall talent drain from the industry. I don’t believe that agencies shy away from trying to get minority employees. But it is more in the middle of things that keep agencies awake at night than a top priority.”

Under threat of government investigation into their hiring practices, the Four A’s in September 2004 launched Operation Success, dubbed “the advertising diversity initiative program,” which intended to help agency members improve their minority-hiring efforts. Sheldon Fischer, CEO of consulting firm GoldenKnock/Pipeline International, chairman of the Four A’s diversity advisory board recruitment subcommittee, and an adviser to Operation Success, called it “a Crackerjack box that turned out to be empty. No prize, nothing to eat.”

‘They aren’t wanted’
His take on the reason that there aren’t more blacks in the ad industry: “They aren’t wanted. Though these agencies are enormous in terms of their global impact, they are small shops politically. They appear to be close-knit families. They hire from among their own: there is nepotism and politics.” What’s more, clients aren’t pushing for change. “Absolutely, if a client asked for more African-Americans on their accounts, agencies would respond,” said Mr. Richards of the Four A’s. “They’d devote resources to it and make an effort.”

The industry has a history of segregation by race and gender. Harold Levine, founder of now-defunct Levine, Huntley, Schmidt & Beaver, recalls that when he interviewed at agencies after World War II, he was told to limit his job search to those agencies known as Jewish only. “It was only in the late ‘60s, in the midst of the creative revolution, and small agencies were hiring Jews and women. It was only then that the giant agencies started to talk about diversity. The history of the agency business is one of white male Christians. The culture is very white and masculine.”

A push during the 1960s and 1970s to bring more African-Americans into the business led to some progress. Gil Griffin, an African-American lawyer in the early 1970s, joined now-defunct Kenyon & Eckhardt as senior VP-administration. “It was not a figurehead role,” said Mr. Griffin, who credits one man, Leo Kelmanson, for having the courage to appoint him. “At the time, other firms were debating whether to hire a black copywriter. He had bravery, will and sense of fairness to be way ahead of his contemporaries.” Other agencies hired African-Americans then, but, recalled Gene Morris, chairman-CEO of E. Morris Communications, Chicago, “most of those people didn’t stick around.”

No people ‘like them’ at the top
That lack of top-level senior talent continues to exist today, and makes for difficulty in recruiting and retention at all levels. Mr. Griffin, who now heads recruitment firm Korn/Ferry International’s diversity practice, asked why young people would want to go to an agency if they don’t see people like them at the top.

Others maintain that the number of African-Americans interested in the business is small. Several respondents to a March AdAge.com poll reported that in their college classes, few African-Americans enrolled in advertising courses. Jack Lindgren, who teaches advertising at University of Virginia, says of the 40 kids in his classes per year, “only a few” are African-American: “If I have one or two, I’m very lucky.”

Another reason cited for the low numbers is high demand for a small pool of qualified candidates. “There’s a certain percentage of African-Americans in the general population, and those that have graduated from college are a small part of that. Competition for them is strong,” said Mr. Richards. “They’ve got options.”

Entry pay levels
Pay in advertising pales in comparison with other white-collar industries, particularly for MBA’s. Notes executive recruiter Paul Gumbinner: “The best and the brightest MBA’s are being paid $35,000 to $40,000 to start. Why should they go into advertising when they can go almost anywhere else for twice that?”

Still, Carol Dudley, coordinator, the office of career development at Howard University’s John H. Johnson School of Communications, said that while some shops -- including TM, Saatchi & Saatchi and Ogilvy -- attend the school’s annual career fair, overall agency attendance is low. Of the school’s 287 graduates in 2006, 29 graduated with ad degrees, and three took jobs in agencies.

Some observers point out that to win large government contracts, general-market agencies must work with minority-owned vendors, so it is in general market agencies’ interests to work with the best minority-staffed agencies rather than staff up with minorities themselves.


“We are not an industry that is tremendously comfortable with differences,” said Renetta McCann, CEO of Starcom MediaVest Group (pictured above).

Essay 707


MultiCultClassics rolls with Cars & Colored Folks…

I see dead people. Chevy presents a curious tribute to deceased recording artists for Black Music Month.


Sunday, June 18, 2006

Essay 706


Late-breaking entertainment news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Beyoncé was tricked into a face-off with PETA representatives who questioned the superstar’s penchant for fur. An eBay auction for a dinner date with Beyoncé was secretly won by PETA, who used the opportunity to confront the singer and videotape the encounter. Beyoncé should have stood her ground and ordered steak and lobsters for everyone.

• American Idol champion Ruben Studdard won $2 million in a lawsuit against his former manager, who mismanaged the crooner’s loot and credit cards. Studdard probably should have also sued the dude for mismanaging his career.

• AOL displayed some tacky insensitivity by showing the picture below of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston with the headline: “We Admit It, We’re Addicts. Even Terrible Reality TV Like ‘Bobby’ Hooked Us…”

Essay 705


More borderline insanity in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The southern border is still a major problem, with folks legally and illegally crossing over for the jobs regular citizens no longer want (pictured above). Governmental and law enforcement officials debate controversial tactics to deal with the flow of immigrants. The continuing saga in the U.S.? Nope, it’s Mexico’s own immigration dilemma, as people from nearly two dozen other countries flow into the country. The New York Times published a story titled, “Mexico Worries About Its Own Southern Border.” Click on the essay title above to check it out.

• Texas ranchers, tired of illegal immigrants damaging cattle fences while crossing the border, have set up ladders to solve the problem. But most potential border jumpers ignore the assistance, fearing the ladders are traps monitored by the Border Patrol. The ranchers would probably be more effective posing as smugglers with beat-up vans.

• The National Guard is poised to officially begin working along the border today. “The Jump Start operation has begun,” said a Border Patrol spokesman. “They are being issued orders and are being processed and trained. … The National Guard is not going to be involved in any law enforcement mission. … Actual arrests, seizures, custodial — none of that stuff. The Border Patrol agents are the ones trained to determine probable cause, effect arrests, and it is impossible to bring the National Guard up to speed on that.” Additionally, most of the troops will be unarmed. So exactly what will the National Guard be doing? Setting up ladders for cattle ranchers?