Essay Seventy-Nine

Mildly meaningless midweek MultiCultClassics Minutes…

• Mickey D’s is launching new Premium Chicken Sandwiches. Seems like the fast food dinosaur is introducing improved chicken items every month. The upgraded sandwiches will retail at a higher price than other burgers. Perhaps because these chicken sandwiches actually contain chicken…?

• Lil’ Kim has filed a lil’ lawsuit against Lil’ Cease. Lil Cease’s testimony revealed Lil’ Kim’s lil’ lie to a grand jury, for which she’s gonna do a lil’ time. Now Lil’ Cease is looking to release a lil’ DVD that includes a lil’ unauthorized usage of Lil’ Kim’s name, image and likeness. If this all seems a lil’ confusing, just be glad it doesn’t involve Lil’ Boozie, Lil’ Bow Wow, Lil’ Fame, Lil’ Flip, Lil’ John, Lil’ Ma$so, Lil’ Mo, Lil’ Romeo, Lil’ Scrappy, Lil’ Troy, Lil’ Wayne, Lil’ Wyte, Lil’ Zane, Little Richard or The Little Rascals.

• Senator Barack Obama withdrew his objection to the hiring of Henrietta Fore for a State Department gig. Obama decided to let the approval process move forward after meeting with Fore and investigating her record and reputation. Fore also wrote Obama and promised to expand minority recruitment. On an unrelated employment note, Obama hired Samantha Power to join his Senate staff. Power is a prominent human-rights activist, Pulitzer Prize-winning author and lecturer.

• Kodak is poised to lay off 10,000 workers. Hewlett-Packard is planning to dump 14,500 employees. GM continues to post quarterly losses — wonder how long before the GM Employee Discount becomes the GM Employee Discharge. And to top it all off, the Detroit Pistons essentially let go Larry Brown. Looks like the only folks to benefit here will be Hotjobs.com and Monster.com.

• Former Black Panthers are seeking to trademark the phrase, “Burn Baby Burn” — but not for a new radical movement or fierce political protest. The group is marketing hot sauce. Plus, they’re plotting to unleash some salsa. No, really. This is not a joke.