Essay 101

MultiCultClassics Minutes wings it with chicken, playing chicken, chicken-heads and more.

• PETA continues its campaign against KFC — dubbed Kentucky Fried Cruelty. The People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have been harassing the fast food joint for its allegedly inhumane treatment of chickens. Protesters’ routines include showing up at restaurants in bloody chicken costumes and presenting videos of mutilated chickens to dining customers. Unlike other restaurants that ultimately revised procedures involving the animals used to create products, KFC refuses to change or even acknowledge any wrongdoing. Given the unclean conditions at most KFC outlets, someone needs to protest the inhumane treatment of patrons.

• On a semi-related chicken front, Mickey D’s is running ads with a new trademarked line to accompany “i’m lovin’ it” — “it’s what i eat and what i do.” The word “and” is highlighted in a different color. The new tag appears to be an attempt to create a healthier split personality for the fast food giant. Print ads tout things like “high quality chicken” and depict people with active, multi-tasking lifestyles. Mickey D’s is becoming quite the multi-tasking communicator, hyping every grade of poultry from high quality chicken to chicken salads to the deep-fried gizzards called McNuggets. Won’t be long before they introduce the Chicken & Waffles McGriddles® or Chicken McFlurry.

• Chrysler hooked up with Snoop Dogg. GMC rhymed with Mos Def. So Ford probably thought it hit the hip hop jackpot when partnering with Eminem. The automaker agreed to provide Slim Shady with a hot ride for a music video. But now the relationship is dead, as Ford chickened out after hearing vulgar lyrics from the popular artist. “It was just that the song was over the top. It just wasn’t Ford,” a company spokesman explained. Not sure why Ford would be surprised over Eminem’s work. Guess they’ve never tuned their car radios to any station playing rap music.

• Foxy Brown just flipped off a plea bargain that would have kept her out of prison for allegedly attacking salon workers over a manicure gone wrong. It sure would be hot if Foxy Brown and Lil’ Kim wound up being cellmates. Talk about the ultimate reality TV series. And if OJ Simpson confessed, it could turn into a cross between Oz, The Simple Life and Three’s Company. Damn!

• A lesser known hip hop figure is in a legal jam. Gabriele T. Smith, money manager for Fabolous, DJ Clue and numerous wealthy music executives, is accused of stealing over $3 million from her clients. There are speculations Smith may cut a deal with authorities by providing information on other hip hop financial crimes — specifically, money laundering involving rap music label Murder Inc. Not sure it’s a good idea to cross an organization with that name.

• Wal-Mart is facing legal problems with angry women — 1.6 million of them, to be exact. Female employees are accusing the retailer of discriminating against them with unequal pay and promotions. The mega-lawsuit may prove too large for the U.S. justice system to handle. Wal-Mart. Always low wages for women. Always.