Friday, August 05, 2005

Essay Ninety-Nine

Knocking the hustle with MultiCultClassics Minutes…

• Director John Singleton is making like Shaft, cracking down on criminals selling pirate copies of Hustle & Flow. “The cool thing about this is I got the studio to go into the places that the FBI doesn't usually infiltrate. We’re checking strip clubs and barber shops besides just street sales. If you’re selling ‘Hustle & Flow,’ we will find you. We will hunt you down,” said Singleton. Strip clubs? Get a free Finding Nemo DVD with every lap dance.

• In unrelated tough law enforcement news, the Florida cops who handcuffed a 5-year-old girl in March will not be punished for their use of excessive force. But they were asked to refrain from using their nightsticks in nursery school situations. Tasers are more effective on toddlers.

• Five New Yorkers have sued the Big Apple over random searches in the subways. Well, if airports and even office buildings conduct searches, why not subways too? Unless, of course, the commuter friskings are being done by homeless people and/or deviants just seeking to cop a feel.

• The NCAA executive committee held a powwow and decided to ban American Indian mascots from postseason tournaments. However, they had reservations about totally banning such mascots, opting to let individual schools make their own decisions. Additionally, the NCAA encouraged people to bet on college sports at any American Indian-owned casino.

• Snoop Dogg and Lee Iacocca have teamed up in the latest commercial from Chrysler. It’s bad enough that Mr. Iacocca has been raised from the dead. But having Mr. Dogg continue to spew “Fo’ shizzle” is doubly tired. Might have been funnier to flip the script and have Iacocca talking accounting and engineering jargon to a befuddled Dogg. If you can find a better concept, try it.

1 comment:

Mr. HustleKnocker said...

Rowdy uncontrollable white kids get Ritalin and counseling.... Rowdy out of control black kids (is that redundant?) get handcuffs and beatdowns. Gotta luv it.

Banning Native Mascots in the playoffs? How's that for liberal hyprocisy run amok. I say we make all the mascots and their supporters go live on reservations for a month or two... We'll see how "cool" they think all this blackface crap is then...