Now available in convenient MultiCultClassics Minutes…
• Now Rafael Palmiero may be facing perjury charges for telling Congress he never used steroids. It’s ironic that the baseball star is also an official spokesman for Viagra — because it looks like he really fucked himself.
• What’s wrong with P. Diddy’s lifestyle? Besides everything J. Lo might tell you, a Chicago man is accusing Mr. Diddy of trademark violation. Chicagoan Gregory Hildebrand sells clothing with the slogan, “It’s a Lifestyle” — while Combs started hawking his gear with the line, “It’s not just a label. It’s a lifestyle.” Now it’s a lawsuit.
• Now reports indicate gang membership in the U.S. is probably higher than estimated. Apparently, thousands of police agencies refuse to provide details about their areas. Motives for non-participation include concerns of frightening the general public with the real numbers. Additionally, there is difficulty in determining exact figures for Our Gang, as the whereabouts of Spanky and Froggy remain unknown.
• Former Our Gang member Robert Blake is now being accused of plotting to kill his first wife too. At this point, the only character witness willing to speak for Blake is Fred the cockatoo.
• Now DNA tests have freed Cuban-American Luis Diaz, who had wrongly served 24 years in prison. Note to convicted criminal Martha Stewart: Quit bitching about a few extra weeks of luxury home confinement.