Essay 151

“Can we all get along?”

Not if you’re Hmong. And packing a high-powered rifle in Wisconsin. A jury convicted Chai Soua Vang of first-degree murder for killing six hunters last November. Vang had insisted he acted in self-defense, and the hunters intimidated him with racial taunting. The jurors didn’t buy it. Nonetheless, Vang’s friends and relatives continued to push the racial buttons, criticizing the jury makeup by proclaiming, “All Caucasian, all American. Why can’t there be one Hmong? Why can’t there be one minority in there?” Um, because the jurors were selected from Madison, Wisconsin.

“Can we all sing along?”

Depends on the cultural group to which you belong. It seems like most of the celebrity charity events to benefit Hurricane Katrina victims remain somewhat segregated. Rappers are rhyming at one venue in Atlanta. White performers will showcase country music in Houston. Gloria Estefan is planning a Hispanic concert, while the racially ambiguous Michael Jackson is enlisting predominately Black artists for a “We Are The (Black) World” extravaganza. The punk rockers are noticeably absent — probably because no group will claim them.

“Can we all read along?”

College students are behaving just plain wrong. Racist acts are regularly taking place at the University of Virginia. The school reported nine incidents in the first few weeks of classes, ranging from racist notes to ugly message boards to slurs hollered from cars. The dean of African American affairs went so far as to say, “I call it racial terrorism — it’s gone beyond racial incidents.” Speaking of terrorism, a student journalist from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill was canned for writing a column about racial profiling of Arabs. The columnist misled Arab students and a professor who teaches a course on Arabic, using their quotes out of context to argue in favor of racial profiling. The quoted individuals believed they were contributing to a story about Arab-American relations following 9/11. Little did they realize they’d actually wind up symbolizing relations between Arabs and Americans. The sleazy writer is making the most of her 15 minutes of fame, taking interviews for talk radio shows and conservative publications. It’s pretty much what you’d expect from someone studying journalism at a university best known for its basketball program.

“Can we all rap along?”

Here’s a new way to keep the neighborhood strong. A housing project in South Los Angeles teamed with city government, corporate sponsors and hip-hop celebrities to open its own recording studio. The studio is intended for aspiring artists to record demos and more. The supporters include former NAACP president Benjamin F. Chavis and Pepsi-Cola. Let’s see if Pepsi can resist exploiting the effort with a commercial starring Beyoncé.

“Can we all move along?”

California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger addressed a friendly throng. He announced his intention to run for re-election, despite an approval rating that has plummeted to 34 percent. “Of course, I’m going to finish the job,” Schwarzenegger told the applauding fans. “I’m a follow-through guy.” He’ll need to inject serious steroids into those approval ratings if he hopes to succeed.

“Can we all get a clue?”

Louisiana law enforcement’s gone cuckoo. They jailed a 73-year-old grandmother for two weeks, accusing the woman of looting a deli after Hurricane Katrina hit. She was charged with lifting $63.50 worth of groceries, and her bail was set at $50,000. Family and eyewitnesses claim the cops cuffed the church elder in frustration over their inability to apprehend real looters at a nearby store. A massive effort to free the woman was failing until the Associated Press publicized her story. Guess grandma can now tell all the grandchildren about her Crash moment.