Essay 191

A quick turn through the ad pages of the November issue of Essence…

• A study in black by the Infiniti G35 Coupe. Or a study in contrived, patronizing borrowed interest. Then again, is it really borrowed interest if the end result is not interesting?

• New BK Chicken Fries presents the headline, “BADDEST CHICK IN THE GAME” — with Chicken Fries used to spell out the last word. Note to the creative team: You got no game.

• A spread for the New 2006 Nissan Murano is moronic. There's a collage of photos with an odd list: SMOOTHELICIOUS, SMOOTHMENT, SMOOTHOCRACY, SMOOTHELICITY, SMOOTHOLUTION and SMOOTHTOPIA. It all leads to a shot of the vehicle under the phrase SMOOTH-UV (a twist on SUV?). The Murano is illegally parked too close to a fire hydrant. Smooth move, art director.

• Kraft serves up a nauseating recipe ad for Velveeta Nacho Bake. The headline reads, “‘Nacho’ ordinary casserole.” The tagline reads, “Honey, It’s A Meal.” Add one cup of cyanide-laced Kool-Aid, honey.

• Get A Quote / Help A Student / It’s That Easy. Allstate hypes a program supporting Historically Black Colleges and Universities, which is definitely a cool effort. But hopefully, this ad is not indicative of why the insurance company recently hired a new Black agency — that is, did Allstate just need a minority vendor to produce its goodwill announcements? By the way, the layout design is awful.

• Aim toothpaste features a promotional tie-in with Charlie And The Chocolate Factory on DVD. Can’t blame the advertising agency for this contradictory offer. However, the agency can be credited for copywriting and art direction that will induce the gnashing of teeth.

• Toyota needs to get pulled over for multiple violations. This brand has been rolling out one insulting concept after another. The latest displays a Camry in a clear-roofed parking garage. The headline reads, “First the glass ceiling. Then the reserved parking space.” The copy leads with, “You’re mentally wealthy.” Note to creative team: You’re mentally deficient.

Let’s do better, folks. Plus, let’s stop forcing culture versus legitimately appealing to the target audience in relevant and breakthrough ways. Note: These comments are intended for advertising agencies AND clients.

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The November issue of Essence features a terrific interview with NAACP President and CEO Bruce Gordon; plus, a conversation between Susan L. Taylor and Cornel West — check it out.