Essay 203

Pre-Halloween scary news from MultiCultClassics Minutes…

• Mickey D’s plans to print nutritional information on its packaging. Company officials are scrambling to find nutritional value in any McProducts.

• There’s news of another cop beating in Florida caught on videotape. Except it involved a special agent from immigration and customs enforcement. And he was beating himself, so to speak. The agent was arrested for exposing himself and masturbating for 10 minutes in the direction of a teen in a shopping mall food court. Security cameras captured the beating, and the spectacle will undoubtedly be available on the Web shortly.

• Cops in New Orleans have admitted to taking Cadillacs from a car dealership during the Hurricane Katrina disaster. But they insisted it wasn’t looting, as they were patrolling in the vehicles. Right. Guess the Kia dealership just couldn’t meet the officers’ professional standards.

• Ohio legislators have proposed a deportation law targeting illegal immigrants. Residents are shocked by the dramatic increase in the Hispanic population over the past decade. Non-residents are shocked that anyone would want to move to Ohio.

• Fisher DeBerry, football coach for the Air Force, was reprimanded over his comments about Black athletes. DeBerry stated, “African-American kids can run very well. That doesn’t mean that Caucasian kids and other descents can’t run, but it’s very obvious to me that they run extremely well.” Most African-American kids probably run away from DeBerry. Extremely well.