5036: Lil News Items.

A Lil MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Lil Wayne got into a lil trouble, as Arizona cops busted him for drug and gun felonies on Friday. After the artist’s tour bus was stopped, a search revealed a pistol, pot, cocaine and ecstasy. In most rapper buses, those features come standard.

• Sylvester Stallone admitted he’s not lil, thanks to human growth hormone usage. “HGH (human growth hormone) is nothing,” said Stallone. “Anyone who calls it a steroid is grossly misinformed. … Testosterone to me is so important for a sense of well-being when you get older. Everyone over 40 years old would be wise to investigate it because it increases the quality of your life. Mark my words. In 10 years it will be over the counter.” Look for Stallone to introduce a chain of Rambo Pharmacies.

• Ex-HarperCollins publisher Judith Regan picked up a lil cash, settling her $100 million defamation lawsuit against Harper’s parent company, News Corporation. Regan charged that her former employer fired her for making anti-Semitic remarks that she denied ever uttering. News Corporation released a statement that read, “After carefully considering the matter, we accept Ms. Regan’s position that she did not say anything that was anti-Semitic in nature, and further believe that Ms. Regan is not anti-Semitic.” While the final settlement was not disclosed, you can bet News Corporation lawyers exclaimed, “Oy Vey!”