7015: Draftfcb Needs Communications Help. Duh.

This actual craigslist ad explains a lot about Draftfcb’s corporate communications. The damned department is probably being run by inexperienced children—in contrast to the incompetent baboons running the agency. Plus, it’s a wonder the Position Requirements didn’t include a bullet point that read: Regularly visit George Parker’s AdScam and immediately notify senior management when the old motherfucker publishes a nasty post about us.

Draftfcb Chicago—Entry Level Corporate Communications Analyst

Date: 2009-08-13, 1:52PM CDT
Reply to: job-rutwx-1321486465@craigslist.org

The Investigator. The Trend Hunter. The Savvy Archivist.

The Draftfcb Corporate Communications Analyst

At Draftfcb the Corporate Communications Analyst is a key member of the agency’s Corporate Communications team and provides support in building and enhancing the agency’s reputation both internally and externally.

This individual will report directly to the Associate Director of Corporate Communications.

Position Requirements
What we want you to do:
• Proactively collect and maintain comprehensive data for the global agency network, including but not limited to client rosters for every Draftfcb agency, new business wins/losses, campaigns, awards/honors, senior hires
• Closely monitor relevant trade and business press
• Oversee management and distribution of daily/weekly media clips
• Develop and maintain analyses of agency/executive press coverage
• Update designated areas of the agency intranet and Web site with latest news and factual updates
• Work with Corporate Communications team to identify reputation-building opportunities and help keep department planning calendar up-to-date
• Measure and assess the effectiveness of communication programs and tools. Prepare reports of findings. Manage the department’s annual communications audit
• Regularly update network information, including items such as agency fact sheets, boilerplate, executive bios
• Research statistical information for executive speeches and articles
• Share proofreading responsibilities of agency communications prior to distribution with the rest of the team

What we want you to have:
• Research/communication experience, in-house or agency
• Ability to manage several projects at once and deliver results accurately and on schedule
• Strong organization skills, with high attention to detail
• Strong verbal and written communication skills
• Outstanding computer skills (Lexis-Nexis, MS Office)
• Bachelor’s Degree

“Draftfcb is committed to diversity of people and thought. We’re fostering a culture that is inclusive, promotes mutual respect and maximizes individuals’ full potential to ultimately benefit our employees, their families, our clients, vendors and shareholders. We promote acceptance, collaboration, creativity, responsibility and accountability among people of diverse backgrounds and perspectives. We hope to better our agency and our industry by engaging the next generation of talent and welcoming their input and contributions to our company and our clients’ businesses.

It is the policy of Draftfcb to provide equal employment opportunities to all employees and applicants for employment without regard to race, religion, color, ethnic origin, gender, age, marital status, veteran status, sexual orientation, disability, or any other basis prohibited by applicable federal, state, or local law.”

New grads encouraged to apply!