11820: Dove’s Real Bullshit.

From Jezebel…

Dove’s Latest Commercial Is Their Most Bullshit Yet

By Kate Dries

Dove has moved their marketing strategy away from merely using “Real Women” as models and towards manipulating “Real Women” as part of totally unscientific experiments that prove nothing. The latest iteration of this project is Dove Patches, a patch for your arm full of a magic substance that makes you feel more beautiful.

What brilliant former psychology major comes up with these ideas? At the start of the commercial, we meet several unassuming women who have been brought to meet with Dr. Ann Kearney-Cooke, who is a real doctor at The Cincinnati Psychotherapy Institute specializing in eating disorders and body image issues. She “prescribes” the women RB-X, a patch that has an unidentified substance in it. The women are supposed to wear it and report back about how it makes them feel about themselves. Miraculously, they feel better about how they look just from wearing it. So they’re shocked when they head back to the doctor and find out that there’s…

…in it. CUE TEARS. This is not a joke. There are tears.

Maybe those tears are because these women have just been duped into thinking there’s something they can take to make them feel beautiful that isn’t a patch version of an anti-depressant. Maybe it’s because they’ve just realized that they’ve allowed themselves to be filmed for a national ad campaign. I don’t know their lives. And neither does Dove! So it’d be nice if they stopped assuming that everyone’s version of hating what they look like or not feeling self-confident involves tears and can be fixed with a little Dove Reality Check™ or whatever they’re calling it this week.

“We have heard from thousands of women about how their complicated relationship with beauty affects their overall confidence and happiness,” Jennifer Bremner, brand building director of skin cleansing for Dove told Mashable. “By illustrating through the Dove: Patches film that a positive state of mind and openness can help them feel more beautiful, we hope to inspire all women and help change the way they see themselves.”

It’s definitely true that positive thinking works miracles. But that’s not what this campaign is really about; it’s about teaching women that Dove knows better. Dove is smarter. You should buy Dove because they’re on your side and they can teach you things. In a post I did yesterday querying which ads convinced people to buy a product they might not have before, several women admitted that the original Dove Real Beauty got them on the Dove bandwagon, so the brand’s decision to keep building on that goodwill was obviously a smart one. With Real Beauty and subsequent campaigns, Unilever has basically turned Dove into a brand that’s more associated with empowerment than its own products. That in itself is far more impressive than the fake magic properties of RB-X, which again, is not for sale — though Dove has a bevy of other products for you to choose from instead.

11759: BHM 2014—Jeopardy.

Jezebel on Jeopardy.

10445: Megan Lochte—Cross-Cultural Expert…?

(Note: This post features content from Jezebel and nationwide new sources. MultiCultClassics commentary appears as italicized text.)

Jezebel posted the following about Megan Lochte, sister of Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte:

Ryan Lochte’s Sister Is a Raging Racist Douchebag

By Dodai Stewart

This is sexy douchebag Ryan Lochte’s sister, Megan Lochte, in a 2008 appearance on a Maryland late night comedy talk show called Closing Time, hosted by Baltimore-based comedian Mickey Cucchiella. Enjoy.

In this four and a half minute clip — shot after the Olympic Games in Beijing — Cucchiella says to Megan, “Let’s talk about China. How long were you there?” Megan replies:

We were there for over a week. China was chinked out.

She then proceeds to use the word “chink” five more times, describing China as:

Chinks, everywhere.

Cucchiella suggests Megan not use the word “chink,” and Megan argues:

But it, like, fits them, because they’re like, chinks!

In what seems to be a feeble and horrifically offensive attempt at comedy, Megan also says that Chinese people “drive like ninjas.” When Cucchiella points out that ninjas are Japanese, Megan says:

They’re whatever we want, they’re Asian.

As if things could not get worse, the sister of gold medal winner Ryan Lochte describes the Great Wall thusly:

The Great Wall is misnamed. [It should be called] like, fucking huge OCD fence.

She also says “I don’t know about the commies over there.”

FYI, Megan’s Facebook page claims that she attended the University of Maryland Baltimore County, where she studied “Multicultural Marketing.”

Her family, her school and her professors must be so proud.

Not surprisingly, Ms. Lochte submitted an almost immediate apology, albeit with a bizarre explanation, that was picked up by nationwide new sources:

Megan Lochte apologizes for racist video

There was something fishy about a talk show interview clip that went viral showing Ryan Lochte’s sister, Megan, coming across as a serious racist.

According to Megan Lochte’s Facebook page, she studied multicultural marketing at the University of Maryland Baltimore County.

Hmm. Multicultural studies. Dropping lots of c-racist bombs about her trip to Beijing to watch her brother during the 2008 Olympics on a talk show. It didn’t seem to make sense.

Well, it seems it was all a skit. Lochte caught up with Us Weekly to clear everything up in a statement:

“This was not a real interview, and it in no way reflects my true feelings or persona whatsoever. The intent was to make fun of the ignorance of people who actually do not have an understanding of other cultures and speak in racist ways.”

“The skit and my character were supposed to be making fun of ignorance. I do see how it was highly offensive to the viewer, but as seen by today’s widespread outrage, it clearly did increase awareness of the ignorance of those who are racist.

“While the intent of the script was to shed light on cultural ignorance. I realize that in application it did offend people, and for that I apologize.”

Ms. Lochte’s explanation is all-American bullshit. If it’s true, she’s still extraordinarily culturally clueless—and probably a bona fide racist. The comedienne’s act puts her in a league with fellow comics including Michael Richards, Gilbert Gottfried and Don Imus. Perhaps the multicultural marketing enthusiast should take a position at an Asian American advertising agency. Then again, she’s a more suitable candidate for any White shop on Madison Avenue.

10412: Uncovering The Obvious.

Jezebel revealed photographs of Victoria’s Secret models undergo Photoshop® enhancements. Gasp! Thank God such investigative journalism is here to expose the shocking truth.