5738: Cover-To-Cover Stupidity.

Covering the news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Vanity Fair decided to fight satire with satire, producing a parody of the infamous New Yorker Obamas cover featuring the McCains. Look for Ebony to create a Cynthia McKinney Green Party cover, with the former Congresswoman sticking her fist into a U.S. Capitol cop’s face.

• NYPD officials are investigating an incident where the head of a Black doll was stuck on the radio antenna of an unmarked police car carrying a couple of White cops. Maybe the cops were showing support for Cynthia McKinney.

• Max Mosley won his lawsuit against a tabloid that exposed his S&M orgy with hookers. The News of the World claimed it was a Nazi party, but Mosley denied a political theme and will collect $120,000. Which should pay for a few more non-Nazi orgies.

• Ford posted 2Q losses at $8.7 billion, while Chrysler announced plans to dump 1,000 salaried positions. The New York Times 2Q earnings dropped 82 percent. You know things are bad when major corporations are doing worse than old dudes staging S&M orgies.

5668: Nazism, Sexism And Racism.

Boys will be boys in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• FIA president Max Mosley went to court denying a newspaper report that he staged a Nazi-style orgy with hookers last March. While Mosley admitted he engaged in a German prison fantasy, he insisted it was not Nazi in nature. “There was not even a hint of that,” said Mosley. He added he could “think of few things more unerotic than Nazi role-play.” Actually, “unerotic” would apply to any sexual encounter involving the 68-year-old Mosley.

• Adweek reported Steve Biegel and Dentsu have settled their legal squabbles. A joint statement read, “As a result of this settlement, those allegations and claims have been dismissed, including any potential counterclaims that have not been asserted by Dentsu. Both parties retract all public statements.” Of course, both parties also agree not to disclose or discuss anything else. So like a ninja, Biegel slips silently into the night. Wonder if the retractions include the numerous anonymous comments left on various blogs.

• Retired boxer Floyd Mayweather charged HBO with racism, saying the network’s announcers display bias towards Black fighters. “They talk about Kelly Pavlik, a White fighter, like he’s the second coming. Or they go crazy over Manny Pacquiao. But I’m a Black fighter,” said Mayweather. “Is it racial? Absolutely. They praise White fighters, they praise Hispanic fighters, whatever. But Black fighters, they never praise.” No word regarding whether or not HBO announcers praised Mayweather’s performance on Dancing With The Stars.

5326: Beaten And Bloodied.

Public spankings in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Now FIA president and alleged Nazi S&M enthusiast Max Mosley is fighting back. Plus, he’s suing the British newspaper that revealed his romp with five hookers. “I was the victim of a disgusting conspiracy. It goes without saying that the so-called Nazi element is pure fabrication,” argued Mosley. “This will become crystal clear when the matter comes to trial. The newspaper invented this in order to spice up their story and introduce my family background. … In short, I think I have done nothing wrong and that the wrong was done by the newspaper. That is why I am suing them. … Many people do things in their bedrooms or have personal habits which others find repugnant. But as long as they keep them private, nobody objects. … I don’t think any of this should affect my work on motoring safety, the environment or the sport. I believe that 21st century adults do not worry about private sexual matters as long as they are legal and harmless. … I shall put this view to the Assembly in due course.” This guy is clearly masochistic, as he’s bound to get his ass whipped by the media.

• Meanwhile, one of hookers spoke to the press, confirming that Max Mosley did indeed order a Nazi-style orgy. “We were only following orders,” said the woman. “Max told Mistress Switch that he wanted a German dominatrix and she got one—Mistress Zena. She’s German and wore a German military uniform. Then Mistress Abi was booked and had to be in German uniform, too—a German Luftwaffe tunic. All the outfits come from army surplus stores. … And I was told to expect a very strong Nazi theme, including demeaning body inspections, brutality and that two submissive girls, called Leah and JD, must play the parts of camp inmates. … They’d wear striped prison camp-style uniforms, be beaten and have sex with Max. … Mistress Switch said she herself would be wielding the cane on Max, flogging him with full force 15 times after strapping him to a bench. It was all carefully worked out beforehand. Max had given Mistress Switch £2,500 to sort out the whole scenario and she briefed us all on his requirements. … A client never hands out that sort of cash without saying EXACTLY what he expects. He doesn’t just say, ‘Look, there’s a bundle of cash, just do what you fancy.’” Mosley is probably delighted to receive this additional free beating.

• Skybus Airlines got its ass whipped by the competition, and it’s now shutting down to file for bankruptcy after about one year in business.

5304: Eliot Spitzer’s Got Nothing On Me.

From The Sun…

F1 Nazi nookie boss to keep job

By PHILIP CASE

FORMULA One racing chief Max Mosley will NOT be sacked over a sadistic Nazi orgy with five call girls, it was revealed last night.

Mosley, 67, was filmed playing a SS death-camp commmandant barking orders in German and lashing uniformed girls in a five-hour video.

The married dad-of-two — son of infamous wartime fascist Sir Oswald Mosley — also posed as a concentration camp victim having his genitals inspected before being whipped until his buttocks bled.

But last night F1’s governing body the FIA said he would keep his job as president after Friday’s orgy at a flat in London’s Chelsea was exposed by the News Of The World.

A spokesman said: “As far as the FIA is concerned, this is a matter between Mr. Mosley and the newspaper.” He added that Mosley’s lawyers were “in touch” with the paper.