6258: Partnership For Prosperity…?

Wonder how the communities will prosper now that Wachovia has failed to prosper.

6188: Know Where You Stand—On Shaky Ground.

Somebody needs to pull these Wachovia ads already. You’ll confidently move forward with Wachovia—straight into Wells Fargo. Or maybe not.

6084: Vice Makes Nice Profits.

Profits and propositions in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Philip Morris reported 3Q profits puffed up 20.6 percent. Mickey D’s reported 3Q profits super-sized 11 percent. Now, if these corporations were to introduce the McMarlboro Cigarette Sandwich, they would probably rule the Earth.

• Wachovia reported 3Q losses at $24 billion. Shareholders will soon be eating at McDonald’s and bumming cigarettes from their peers.

• San Francisco is considering decriminalizing prostitution. Proposition K goes before voters next month, and the measure would prohibit local cops from investigating, arresting or prosecuting people for selling sex not involving minors. If successful, look for Wachovia to offer new banking services.

6062: A Legacy Of Lameness.

These ads have been around for a while, and even appeared on this blog via past posts. But given the current bank fiascos, it seemed appropriate to take another look. Both Black-targeted messages make reference to building a legacy. Looks like C. David Moody may have to rethink his idea on the topic.

6049: A New Tradition Interrupted.

Um, maybe Great-Grandma knew what she was doing after all.

6040: Limited Interest.

Breaking the bank in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Well, Wells Fargo will acquire Wachovia, although Citigroup plans to sue for $60 billion. Um, Citigroup had intended to buy Wachovia for $2.1 billion. Talk about serious interest charges. It’s another reason to avoid Citigroup credit cards.

• Conservative nutcase organization American Family Association ended its boycott of Mickey D’s after a company executive resigned from a gay and lesbian business association. Yeah, that boycott was really hurting the fast feeder. The AFA probably just wanted to get in on the latest Monopoly Game action.

• O.J. Simpson wants a new trial. If denied, he plans to show up and demand an appeal with a few armed pals.

6031: Corporate Love Connections.

Rocky relationships in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Wachovia, Wells Fargo and Citigroup agreed to calm down and not pursue legal action yet. At least until noon on Wednesday. Which gives Ogilvy & Mather employees an extra day to update their résumés.

• Bank of America reported 3Q profits dropped 68 percent. Maybe they’ll soon join Wachovia, Wells Fargo and Citigroup as a foursome.

• Mars and Wrigley consummated a $23 billion marriage. The wedding buffet featured lots of Doublemint gum and Snickers bars. Wonder which ad agencies will be left holding the bouquet in this hookup.

6027: A Few More Reasons To Hate Mondays.

Cutting remarks in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Kraft was slated to announce major job cuts on Monday. As if employees needed another reason to hate Mondays.

• eBay announced plans to cut 1,000 employees, or 10 percent of its workforce. Their company name tags and office supplies will go on auction soon.

• Wells Fargo and Citigroup continued to battle through the weekend over the opportunity to buy Wachovia, with neither side giving in. Meanwhile Ogilvy & Mather employees are probably withdrawing any savings from all three banks.

6023: Updated Bank Statement.

A judge blocked Wells Fargo from buying Wachovia Bank for $14.8 billion, as Citigroup continued to argue its earlier agreement to purchase Wachovia for $2.1 billion was a done deal. Maybe somebody should get LendingTree® involved—the organization’s tagline reads, “When banks compete, you win.” Regardless of the outcome, Ogilvy & Mather still loses.

6022: Wachovia’s A Great Place To Work. Oops.

Enjoy your life. Love your career. With Citigroup. Or Wells Fargo.

5731: Heading South.

Losses and wins in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Wachovia reported 2Q losses at $8.86 billion and plans to cut 6,350 jobs. “These bottom-line results are disappointing and unacceptable,” said the chairman. “While to some degree they reflect industry headwinds and weaker macroeconomic conditions, they also reflect performance for which we at Wachovia accept responsibility.” And they’ll undoubtedly pass the financial responsibility to customers.

• Hazleton Mayor Lou Barletta, who sparked controversy by proposing unconstitutional ordinances to punish businesses and landlords working with illegal immigrants, has been named Pennsylvania’s Mayor of the Year. The award should include a vacation package to Mexico.