Essay 653

Cool beans! It’s another MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Carlos Sanchez, the actor who portrayed ‘Juan Valdez’ for four decades, is saying adios. He was probably tired of spending so much time playing second fiddle to a jackass. Now the national federation of Columbian coffee producers is seeking a replacement actor for the iconic character. We formally nominate Carlos Mencia.

• It really is hard out here for a pimp. Dave “Super Dave” Phillips hoped to launch a cable TV program showcasing his adventures in pimpdom. Instead, he was sentenced to 17 years in federal prison. Now he’ll be someone else’s bitch.

• New York City Councilman Peter Vallone Jr. has become famous for his war on graffiti. But now taggers are fighting back by spraying the man’s name all over the city, Internet message boards and more. Look for Sony to produce new graffiti-style ads for its PlayStation Portable product featuring Vallone-inspired characters.

• The American Association of Advertising Agencies hired a lobbyist to handle the diversity hearings proposed by the New York City Human Rights Commission. Members of the New York group planned to publicly probe adfolks and clients about the lack of diversity in the industry. Wonder if Carlos Sanchez will be asked to testify.