Essay 361

Thank God It’s MultiCultClassics Monologue Friday…

• American and Mexican authorities found nearly two tons of marijuana in a secret tunnel along the border. Investigators are probably now looking for illegal immigrants with a serious case of the munchies.

• Last fall, William Bennett sparked controversy by saying, “You could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down.” Now he’s defending himself for the remark with more dubious commentary. “This [criticism] was not deserved. I was dealing with a hypothetical, talking about lowering crime rate by aborting babies, babies in the black community. And that this was a hypothetical, obviously, that was a matter that had been under discussion in articles and newspapers and in some discussions of books.” Exactly which articles, newspapers and books has Bennett been reading?

• A detailed study by Brown University states that 80% of New Orleans’ Black population may not return, especially if the most damaged neighborhoods are not rebuilt and there is not major government assistance for poor folks. So much for Mayor Ray Nagin’s Chocolate City.

• Teens in Thailand have started a new fad — wearing fake braces on their teeth. Authorities are not amused, actually threatening potential distributors and sellers with fines and prison time. Wonder what they’ll do once kids start sporting grills.

• A campaign manager for the gubernatorial candidate facing off with NFL great Lynn Swann in Pennsylvania’s Republican primary was penalized for an offensive foul. The man was fired for telling a televised call-in show: “The rich White guy in this campaign is Lynn Swann.” Al Campanis and Jimmy The Greek would have contested the call.

• Victor Willis, the original cop from the Village People, is now running from the law. Willis failed to show for his sentencing stemming from drug and gun charges. It sure will be cool if Willis is ultimately apprehended on an episode of Cops.

• Ford Motor Company’s Dearborn truck plant has new restrictions for its employee parking lot. Starting next month, the lot will only be available to folks who drive vehicles produced by Ford or its subsidiaries. You’d think Ford officials would first make good on their plans to fire 30,000 employees before creating such mandates.

• Cornel West addressed students in Ohio, imploring them to challenge racism and other social ills messing with society. “Who wants to be well-adjusted to injustice? … What kind of human being do you want to be?” asked West. “We’ve gone from ‘let freedom ring’ to the bling-bling … I call it the peacock syndrome. But I say peacocks strut because they cannot fly. Black people’s gift to American democracy is the restraint they’ve shown in the face of centuries of oppression.”