Tuesday, January 25, 2011
8398: Beefy Bullshit.
Grinding out the news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…
• Taco Bell is facing a lawsuit that charges its “ground beef” should really be called “taco meat filling,” as the stuff doesn’t meet the USDA standard to receive a “ground beef” label. Latinos might also argue Taco Bell does not deserve the term “taco,” as its menu items do not meet the standards of anyone familiar with authentic Mexican-style cuisine. Additionally, the fast feeder’s advertising should be renamed “contrived shit.”
• Mickey D’s announced it may raise the prices of menu items this year, citing the rising costs of food. Based on USDA standards, can the stuff offered by the fast feeder be called food?
• Homeless-man-turned-celebrity-voiceover Ted Williams has left a drug rehab facility after less than two weeks. Maybe he landed a commercial gig for Taco Bell or Mickey D’s.
• J.C. Penney is cutting back, dumping its catalog and outlet businesses, as well as closing stores. No big surprise—even Ted Williams wouldn’t buy clothes at JCP.