5694: Colliding With Progress Head On.

Dummies in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Female crash test dummies are getting a promotion of sorts, as the U.S. Transportation Department will start using them in frontal crash tests. Until now, the female dummies had been primarily used in basic compliance testing. However, the female dummies will still be paid significantly less than their male counterparts.

• Rapper Nas has produced a new track called “Black President,” which pays homage to Sen. Barack Obama. Jesse Jackson will probably mutter, “I want to cut his Nas off.”

Essay 4607

Weekend Rap Up with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Rapper T.I. pleaded not guilty to illegal weapons charges, and he will remain in jail for at least a week while the judge considers a bond deal. Maybe the rapper will spend the time working on his next album, “T.I. vs ATF.”

• Rapper Nas is battling with Rev. Jesse Jackson over his next album, which will named after the N-word. “The title using the N-word is morally offensive and socially distasteful. Nas has the right to degrade and denigrate in the name of free speech, but there is no honor in it,” said Jackson. “Radio and television stations have no obligation to play it and self-respecting people have no obligation to buy it. I wish he would use his talents to lift up and inspire, not degrade.” Nas shot back, “We’re taking power from the word. … No disrespect to none of them who were part of the civil rights movement, but some … in the streets don’t know who [civil rights activist] Medgar Evers was … they know who Nas is. … And to my older people who don’t know who Nas is and who don’t know what a street disciple is, stay outta this [expletive] conversation. We’ll talk to you when we’re ready. Right now, we’re on a whole new movement. We’re taking power from that word.” Word.

Essay 4425

Slams and slammers in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Nas slammed Bill O’Reilly after the old man criticized the rapper’s free concert for Virginia Tech students as an “abomination.” O’Reilly griped, “Having a rapper who trades in violence perform at Virginia Tech insults the [shooting] victims, the university and the entire commonwealth.” Nas declared, “He’s a racist. … Everybody has a marketing plan; his marketing plan is racism. … It just shows you what bloodsuckers do; they abuse something like the Virginia Tech [tragedy] for show ratings. You can’t talk to a person like that.” Bloodsucker. Marketing plan. Racist. Hey, O’Reilly ought to be on Madison Avenue.

• Former Duke lacrosse team prosecutor Mike Nifong reported to prison for his one-day sentence. Meanwhile, lawyers for the three players are threatening to sue Durham, North Carolina, for $30 million and reforms in the legal process. Looks like the experience has turned the players into bold defenders of justice.

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Conflicts of disinterest in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The Telemundo network suspended reporter Mirthala Salinas for covering Mayor Antonio Villaraigosa in more ways than one (both pictured above). The woman had been romantically involved with the elected official while she also reported on him for KVEA-TV Channel 52. A memo from the station read, “while the content and accuracy of KVEA’s newscasts were not compromised, our news policy standards with respect to conflict of interest were clearly violated.” Bet lots of folks are feeling violated right now.

• A free concert to cheer up the Virginia Tech community has come under fire because it includes rapper Nas. People are complaining because Nas’ lyrics include violent themes, particularly a 1999 track with the chants, “Shoot ‘em up, just shoot ‘em up, what?” and “Kill, kill, kill, murder, murder, murder.” A spokesman for pissed-off people said the lyrics “are indicative of the moral decay in our society that contributes to acts of violence. For a university official to condone it or to be clueless of what this person’s track record is, it’s unconscionable beyond belief.” Hey, in America, cluelessness is never an exclusive dysfunction.

• Despite the New York City ban on trans fat, a new study showed fast feeders like Wendy’s and Burger King continue to feature high levels of the killer ingredient. Although Wendy’s claimed it cut trans fat in 2006, it still appears in the food. Apparently, the guidelines only cover usage of oil containing less than .5 grams of trans fat—selling other foods with higher levels is ok. Plus, the new ban doesn’t prohibit restaurants from using French fries that have been pre-cooked with trans fat levels exceeding the limits. Seems like the mandates have lots of fat loopholes.

• Sony recalled 416,000 digital cameras whose metal cases were prone to warping and slashing people’s hands. Talk about staying on the cutting edge.