9728: Herman Cain Endorses Fellow Adulterer.

Hey, look! Herman Cain is back and endorsing Newt Gingrich.

“I hereby officially and enthusiastically endorse Newt Gingrich,” declared Cain. “There are several reasons as to why I have reached this public decision. One of the biggest reasons is the fact that I know Speaker Gingrich is a patriot, Speaker Gingrich is not afraid of bold ideas.”

Plus, Cain and Gingrich share a lot of the same positions on women and marriage.

8901: No Sense Of Decency.

A Newt and Improved MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Presidential hopeful Newt Gingrich is now ranting at NBC for airing reports speculating the man’s wife may have been to blame for the mass exodus of his campaign staff. “I think the [NBC] program this morning was totally irresponsible… and the kind of thing that makes it hard to make decent people run for public office,” growled Gingrich. “NBC is supposed to be a responsible news organization, and I think that for them to attack somebody’s wife is utterly reprehensible.” Wait a minute—did Gingrich just imply that he’s a decent person?

• A new study shows 25 percent of high school students drink at least one soda every day. For Coca-Cola and Pepsi, the data reveals a major failure.

8881: TGIFools & Freaks.

Working towards the weekend with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Tracy Morgan is catching heat for a stand-up routine featuring homophobic remarks, as well as the N-Word. Fortunately for the Miami Heat and Dallas Mavericks, Morgan isn’t a fan of either squad—the Offensive Karma would absolutely doom a team.

• Presidential candidate Newt Gingrich saw his campaign team stage a mass exodus on Thursday. The reasons behind the departures covered everything from campaign direction to finances. “We were living a Cadillac campaign on a Bud Light budget,” said one staffer who bailed out. Hmmm. No clear vision and unable to manage finances. Throw in his extramarital affair and you’ve got the perfect candidate—for a new reality TV series.

6803: Open And Honest Morons.

Speakers talking shit in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Newt Gingrich backpedaled on his remarks that Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor is a racist. “My initial reaction was strong and direct—perhaps too strong and too direct,” explained Gingrich. “The sentiment struck me as racist, and I said so. Since then, some who want to have an open and honest consideration of Judge Sotomayor’s fitness to serve on the nation’s highest court have been critical of my word choice.” Heaven forbid Gingrich would want to join an open and honest consideration.

• Senate committee members spanked automaker honchos for dumping dealerships. Senator John D. Rockefeller griped, “Let me be very clear—I don’t believe that companies should be allowed to take taxpayer funds for a bailout and then leave local dealers and their customers to fend for themselves with no real notice and no real help. It’s just plain wrong.” Wait until the committee sees how automakers treat multicultural advertising agencies.

• The good news: Walmart claims it will create 22,000 new jobs in 2009. The bad news: the jobs require working at Walmart.