14042: BHM 2018—United.

This United advertisement salutes the Ebony Power 100 during Black History Month and proclaims, “The diversity of our company and customers makes us stronger.” And being stronger comes in handy when you have to drag customers off of planes.

11251: Big Logo For Sale.

From The Chicago Tribune…

United auctions logo, letters from former HQ building

By Gregory Karp | Tribune reporter

The giant United Airlines tulip logo and U-N-I-T-E-D letters from atop the carrier’s former headquarters building on Wacker Drive in Chicago will be auctioned off as a fundraiser, the airline said Friday.

United this week opened its first online silent auction to benefit the United Airlines Scholarship Fund. The logo from 77 W. Wacker is being auctioned separately from the United letters, which will be sold as a set. The auction is open to the public, and bidders can place bids through their smart phones at http://myab.co/events/6e/i/silent.

On Friday morning, the United letters, measuring 5 feet high and weighing up to 75 pounds each, hadn’t received a bid above its starting bid of $1,000. But the tulip logo, used by United since 1974, received a high bid of $2,600. It measures 5 feet high and weighs about 100 pounds. The logo was designed by American graphic designer and Academy Award-winning filmmaker Saul Bass.

The logo is no longer used. When United and Continental merged in 2010, the newly formed company adopted United’s name and Continental’s globe logo.

United installed the sign in 2007 when the airline moved its headquarters to Chicago from Elk Grove Village. It was taken down last month when the company moved several blocks to Willis Tower in Chicago.

United is also auctioning off other items including vacation packages, sports tickets and electronics. The auction is open until July 12.

The fund is a nonprofit organization that awards educational scholarships to United employees and their dependents. Since 2002, the fund has awarded 2,161 scholarships worth more than $7 million, the airline said.

10163: Black Pilots United Against United.

From The Associated Press…

Black pilots sue United over bias claims

By The Associated Press

SAN FRANCISCO — Nearly two dozen black pilots for United Airlines filed a federal discrimination lawsuit claiming few minority workers are promoted to upper management at the world’s largest air carrier.

The lawsuit claims blacks who are in upper management jobs were promoted simply to give the company a false appearance of diversity.

Those managers are often excluded from social gatherings, informal email chains and other forums where company issues are discussed, the legal action states.

United vowed Wednesday to vigorously defend itself against the allegations made by 22 pilots in the lawsuit filed Tuesday in federal court in San Francisco.

“United does not tolerate harassment or discrimination of any kind,” spokeswoman Megan McCarthy said. “We believe this lawsuit is without merit.”

The lawsuit claims that nearly all black employees at United Continental Holdings Inc., United’s parent company, are in non-management positions.

The pilots are seeking an end to the alleged discrimination, back pay and other damages.

United and Continental Airlines merged in 2010. Most of the pilots involved in the lawsuit flew with United before the merger.

The case was assigned to U.S. District Judge Donna M. Ryu.

6653: Flying, Flagging And Failing.

Charging ahead with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• United Airlines announced plans to charge overweight passengers for two seats. The passengers should insist on receiving two meals, two beverages, etc. Wonder if United will ask the fliers to step onto the suitcase scale at the ticket counter. Of course, they can expect to have their luggage lost twice too.

• Burger King apologized for its Texican sandwich advertising that offended Mexicans, announcing the campaign would be revised. The ads featured a short character wearing a Mexican flag as a cape. Mexico’s ambassador to Spain said the flag usage violated national law. A statement from the fast feeder read, “The existing campaign falls fully within the legal parameters of the United Kingdom and Spain where the commercials are being aired and were not intended to offend anyone.” These guys must think they’re working for a real king.

6435: Offensive All-Stars.

Idiots behaving badly in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Miley Cyrus is still reeling over her insensitive photo that offended lots of Asians and Asian Americans. Advocacy groups are blasting the Hannah Montana star, demanding that she produce public service announcements to help fight discrimination and counter perpetuating stereotypes. It doesn’t help that Cyrus is most famous for playing a character who likes to don a blond wig, huh?

• Marijuana enthusiasts are blasting Kellogg for its decision to dump Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps after he was caught with a pot pipe. “Kellogg’s had no problem signing up Phelps when he had a conviction for drunk driving, an illegal act that could actually have killed someone,” said the protesting group’s executive director. “To drop him for choosing to relax with a substance that’s safer than beer is an outrage, and it sends a dangerous message to young people.” Guess there’s no need to wonder what this moron’s been smoking.

• MillerCoors reported 4Q profits dropped 40 percent. Probably because Phelps stopped drinking in favor of marijuana.

• United Airlines is overhauling its customer service, dumping call centers and forcing fliers to lodge complaints via email or postal mail. Additionally, the company will probably charge customers a $50 fee for any complaint letter over 15 words.

6357: Sales Are In The Basement.

Leaky basements in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Filene’s Basement plans to close a third of its discount fashion stores nationwide. You know things are bad when the bargain basement retailers are bombing.

• Wireless phone maker Ericsson reported a 31 percent drop in 4Q profits, and will now be calling for 5,000 job losses. Ericsson employees are encouraged to not answer their work phones – especially if the caller ID shows it’s the HR director.

• United Airlines reported more losses, along with plans to jettison 1,000 jobs. In an effort to generate profits, the airline will probably raise fees for an extra carry-on bag to $1 million.

6218: Cutting Remarks.

Pink slips and slides in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• AT&T plans to cut 12,000 jobs. But chances are, most of the workers won’t know it, because they didn’t get the firing call since they don’t have more bars on their cell phone service.

• United Airlines plans to wait until after the holiday rush before firing 1,200 workers. Gee, that should make for some cheery customer service during the busy flying period.

• DuPont announced plans to cut 2,500 jobs, as well as 4,000 contractors. Um, does anyone even know what DuPont does?

6059: Volunteer Work Involves Leaving Work.

Volunteering the news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• United Airlines reported 2,100 employees voluntarily left their jobs as the airline continues to cut costs. No figures on the number of customers who voluntarily dumped United.

• Candymaker Hershey reported 3Q profits doubled, and the company is optimistic as Halloween and the holidays approach. Wonder if the results will positively affect the profits of dentists.

• IBM reported a 20 percent jump in 3Q profits. Guess PCs did pretty well versus Macs after all.

5948: Living Long And Prospering.

Trekking through the news with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• George Takei, aka Sulu of Star Trek fame, married longtime partner Brad Altman on Sunday in a multicultural ceremony including a Buddhist priest, Native American wedding bands, a Japanese Koto harp and a bagpipe procession. However, there were no alien guests like Klingons, Romulans or William Shatner.

• United Airlines doubled the fee for a second piece of luggage to $50, blaming the move on rising fuel costs. It may soon be cheaper to just buy a ticket for your luggage.

5651: Airport Insecurity.

Rough landings in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• American Airlines announced plans to cut 900 flight attendants. Nice way to celebrate Independence Day.

• United Airlines announced plans to start offering passengers larger snacks for $3 each. The idea must be to lure fat people in the hopes they can be charged for two seats.

• Wesley Snipes is still appealing his tax convictions, but a judge has allowed the star to travel abroad for filmmaking. Snipes probably views charges for onboard snacks as tax write-offs.

• DMX was busted at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport for outstanding warrants. Not sure why DMX would be at an airport. The man can clearly drive faster than most jets.

• Blockbuster withdrew its proposal to acquire Circuit City. Guess consumers aren’t the only ones refusing to buy at Circuit City.

5623: Diverting Attention And Flights.

Rough landings in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Don Imus claims he was misunderstood, insisting his latest remarks were intended to “make a sarcastic point.” Imus said, “What people should be outraged about is that they arrest Blacks for no reason. I mean, there’s no reason to arrest [Adam Jones] six times. Maybe he did something once, but everyone does something once.” Um, Don, you’ve made racist remarks more than once.

• United Airlines announced plans to put 950 pilots on furlough. The airline said it had to take a “difficult, but necessary step to reduce the number of people we have to run our business.” The decision will no doubt reduce the number of customers they have to use their business.

5547: Unceremonious Dumpings.

Reinstating the obvious with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The Rev. Michael Pfleger, the latest spiritual leader to cause trouble during the presidential campaigning via inflammatory remarks, was “asked” by Cardinal Francis George to chill out for a few weeks and reflect. The members at St. Sabina, the church Pfleger leads, officially protested the move and demanded his reinstatement. So much for the meek inheriting the Earth.

• George Takei, best known as Sulu from the iconic Star Trek series, plans to marry his long-time boyfriend. A few Star Trek crew members will be present, including best man Walter Koenig (aka Chekhov) and matron of honor Nichelle Nichols (aka Uhura). However, it looks like William Shatner won’t get an invite. Seems Takei and Shat have had cool relations over the years. “Kirk and Shatner both have this grand ego of sense of self. He sits there in the center of the set and he revels [in] it,” noted Takei. Shatner would probably reply, “Don’t even boldly go there.”

• United Airlines will boldly go to fewer places, as the company cut 1,100 workers and 100 planes. United is also dumping its coach-only “Ted” service. “This environment demands that we and the industry act decisively and responsibly,” said United’s chairman, president and CEO. “At United, we continue to do the right work to reduce costs and increase revenue to respond to record fuel costs and the challenging economic environment.” Sounds like corporate speak for, “We’re going out of business.”

5389: Golden Parachutes And Arches.

Flying high in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• United Airlines announced plans to cut 500 managerial jobs and 600 union jobs after reporting it lost $542 million in 1Q. United lost lots of travelers’ luggage too.

• Boeing recorded a 38 percent jump in 1Q profits. How come all the airlines are tanking, but the airplane maker is flying high?

• Mickey D’s reported a 24 percent increase in 1Q profits. It’s actually good that the airlines are failing, because thanks to McDonald’s, most Americans can no longer fit into airplane seats anyways.