11655: Burn Notice.

We’re a tad tardy with the news, but the blogosphere just got more boring. AdPulp Co-Founder and Editor David Burn announced the end of his over 9-year run with the blog. Burn plans to devote more time to his paying gig as Copywriter, Creative Director and Brand Strategist at Bonehook.

9079: Jetpacks Is Back And Selling Shoes.

The NASA space shuttle program may be over, but Jetpacks is relaunching Where’s My Jetpack? into the blogosphere. After a hiatus, the blog is back and selling women’s shoes on the side.

9010: MultiCultClassics—Influential & Trustworthy!

Edelman has created the latest scam breakthrough to address social media ineptitude. Bloglevel is “a nifty little measurement tool” designed to gauge the popularity of bloggers and Tweeters. Here are some of the results shat out for MultiCultClassics:

Your influence score — Your score is impressive and your blog is truly influential in your sector. Where focused conversations have become more important your blog has shown itself to be a leader. To improve your score try and address issues quickly so that people come to your site to understand how topical news is interpreted. Your site may not be TechCrunch but you are doing what it takes to be an important source of information in your field. Not only have you become an authoritative source of information, but recognised leading sites are listening and linking to what you say.

Your trust score — Congratulations – your trust score is something to be admired. The Edelman Trust Barometer states that 77% of people refused to buy products or services from a company they distrusted. It is trust that makes someone act — for this reason alone, having a high trust score is considered by many to be more important than any other category. One of the simplest measures of trust is if someone voluntarily listens to what you say or pushes other people to read what you have written. The number of subscribers you have and inbound links from Twitter and other sites make up a large weighting in deciding your trust score. Your posts are interesting, credible and informative and probably spread far around the world. Well done and keep it going.

How flattering. Or flatulence. First, “The Edelman Trust Barometer” is an oxymoron, as the word “trust” should never appear in the same sentence with the name of a PR firm.

Second, the canned results read like the writings of an amateur astrologist working with bag of stale fortune cookies and a Magic 8 Ball. Sorry, this blog knows better than to believe it’s influential in any sector. And again, what’s the value of having a trust score that wins the admiration of a PR firm?

Third, this gizmo is nothing more than a self-promotional piece of shit fabricated to fool idiots into thinking their social media strategies could be enhanced via the sage services of Edelman. Um, save yourself some money by asking your 13-year-old nephew for advice about Twitter and Facebook instead.

Finally, Edelman’s digital expertise is nothing more than, well, PR.

8995: Anonymous Amusement.

Advertising Age published a story on “Internet Commentators” allegedly blasting industry players with anonymous negativity and nastiness. Ironically, the trade journal already covered the topic last April via anonymous columnist Creative X. And MultiCultClassics weighed in on the phenomenon way back in 2007.

The situation is nothing new. Yet the commentary from the offended continues to reveal agency leaders’ ignorance about the Internet and our industry. Here are some unedited comments in response to the Ad Age piece:

• Madison Avenue still doesn’t get the Internet. Otherwise, they’d realize that trolls are not unique to our industry. Additionally, it goes beyond ad blogs and even the World Wide Web. The global issue involves a coarsening of the culture as exemplified by the rise of tabloids, reality TV, FOX News and amateur critics.

• Madison Avenue has always been driven by anonymity. That is, adpeople do not sign their names to campaigns, as we are fabricating voices and messages for our clients. This is cool, except when clients take the heat for bungled, insensitive and offensive bullshit often rooted in agencies’ cultural cluelessness. Why don’t agencies step forward and identify themselves in these scenarios? Um, because they are cowards.

• Madison Avenue has always been fueled by gossip and backstabbing. Stroll through any BDA and you’ll see endless examples of politics, corruption, scheming, discrimination, adultery, sexual misconduct and more—usually in pursuit of increased billings or personal gain. There’s a reason why adpeople routinely rate alongside used car salesman and assorted social fiends on trustworthiness and credibility surveys.

• Madison Avenue honchos who call for banning anonymous comments are assholes. The guys staunchly defending the First Amendment rights of Big Tobacco, pharmaceutical companies, fast feeders targeting kids with junk food and other questionable advertisers now want to shut down name-callers on blogs? Please.

• Advertising Age monitors threads, deleting naughty naysayers and spam. Adweek has abandoned its scrutiny. Agency Spy has abandoned its humanity. On the flip side, George Parker, Jim Edwards and Lewis Lazare openly deliver stinging criticism. Hell, AdFreak and AdRants don’t hesitate to zing idiots. So the notion that anonymity is the problem doesn’t hold up.

• Crispin Porter + Bogusky prohibits staffers from engaging in dialogue on sites? Wish they would stop the troops from littering the Web with culturally clueless crapola too. Just a thought.

• Advertising Age suggested the “best remedy may be to ignore them.” Perhaps. But the victims of vitriol might also check the mirror to honestly examine the true inspiration for the complaints.

8516: You Too Can Be A Blogger.

Mediabistro is bragging that a graduate of its writing courses landed a gig. As a blogger. For AOL. Um, that’s only a baby step beyond blogging for, well, Mediabistro.

8462: Jetpacks Packs It In.

Where’s My Jetpack? is taking time off. Is it a coincidence that the blogger’s leaving on the same weekend that Royal Caribbean is launching a humungous gay cruise? Just kidding. For now, the blogosphere is losing one of its better personalities. All the best.

8009: How Not To Make Money Blogging.

Here’s another job listing that shows why content on the Web sucks. The employer is paying less than $250 for five +400-word articles, including one titled, “How to Make Money Blogging.” Um, if you knew how to make money blogging, you wouldn’t have to take hack jobs paying sweatshop wages.

Title: Five Articles on Blogging
Project ID: 650902
Budget: Less than $250

Category: Writing, Editing & Translation
Description:
I need five 400-500 word informative articles on Blogging written. One article for each of the following topics:

How to Make Money Blogging
The Pros and Cons of Free Blogging
Should I Start a Personal Blog?
Blogging Tips
How Do I Increase My Blog Traffic?

Must be original and pass Copyscape.
Freelancer must a be native English speaker/writer.
Please bid for the entire project, not price per article.

Possibility for long-term partnership. Please inform me of your ability to write articles across a variety of industries, experience with producing online content, sample of work if available, turnaround time, etc.

6866: Live Report From Cannes? More Like Dead.

Yes We Cannes with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• USA TODAY reported attendance at Cannes is down about 40 percent this year, and entries are off by 20 percent. Hey, if President Obama displayed outrage over CEO bonuses, what will he think about ad honchos lounging in France—especially the wonks hoping to make General Motors’ “critical vendors” list?

• The FTC is preparing to target bloggers who receive compensation for reviews, creating new guidelines to follow. “If you walk into a department store, you know the (sales) clerk is a clerk,” said and FTC official. “Online, if you think that somebody is providing you with independent advice and … they have an economic motive for what they’re saying, that’s information a consumer should know.” In the meantime, everyone feel free to send money and swag to MultiCultClassics.

• Drugstore chain Walgreen reported fiscal 3Q profits dropped 9 percent. Note to Walgreen accountants: Cymbalta® can help.

• A new study shows great white sharks display many of the same traits as human serial killers. However, the Black sharks will still probably receive harsher sentences.