Essay 4549

Weekend Upchuck in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Olympic medalist Marion Jones officially told the public that she had taken steroids, opening the door to losing her awards and facing prison time (see Essay 4547). “In September 2000, before the Sydney Olympics, (former coach Trevor) Graham began providing me with a substance he told me was flaxseed oil,” said Jones. “I continued to use this substance until July 2001. … By November 2003, I realized that what Graham had given to me was a performance enhancing drug.” Three years to figure things out? Perhaps the drugs were accelerating her physical performance while slowing her mental abilities.

• The Rev. Al Sharpton is threatening to boycott the New York Knicks unless Isiah Thomas apologizes for remarks about referring to Black women as bitches. “We are calling on him to apologize because of what came out during the deposition … when he said it was all right for Black men to call Black women ‘bitches,’” said Sharpton. “It is inexcusable for any man of any race to call Black women or any women ‘bitch.’” As a symbolic gesture, Thomas should be forced to apologize during a WNBA New York Liberty game.

• In Jena, Louisiana, the town’s mayor is taking issue with a song by John Mellencamp whose lyrics include, “Jena, take your nooses down.” The mayor wrote, “The town of Jena has for months been mischaracterized in the media and portrayed as the epicenter of hatred, racism and a place where justice is denied. … the Mellencamp video is so inflammatory, so defamatory, that a line has been crossed and enough is enough.” Mellencamp posted a note on his web site stating, “The song is not written as an indictment of the people of Jena but, rather, as a condemnation of racism.” It’ll probably make a terrific jingle for a Chevy truck commercial too.

• As expected, three players from the Duke lacrosse team filed a lawsuit against former prosecutor Mike Nifong, the city of Durham, North Carolina, and police detectives involved on the case. The suit declares the case to be “one of the most chilling episodes of premeditated police, prosecutorial and scientific misconduct in modern American history.” Don’t hold your breath waiting for a Mellencamp song.

• Mickey D’s must pay a whopper of an amount—$6.1 million—to an ex-employee who was forced to strip and sexually abused on the job after the restaurant received a crank call from someone posing as a cop. The fiendish caller told the assistant manager that a young woman had stolen from a customer and should be strip searched. The assistant manager’s ex-boyfriend performed the search and abused the victim, all of which was recorded by a surveillance camera. The lawsuit charged that Mickey D’s failed to warn employees about the caller, whose pranks had occurred at other fast food restaurants across the country. Of course, the fast feeder plans to appeal. A spokesman for McDonald’s said, “While we are disappointed with the verdict, we remain vigilant in our efforts to protect our employees and provide them with a safe and respectful workplace.” Yeah, can’t think of a more respectful job than toiling at Mickey D’s.

• O.J. Simpson is getting back his Rolex watch seized by the family of murder victim Ron Goldman (see Essay 4540). The watch was originally valued at $12,000 to $22,000, but turned out to be a fake worth about $125. It’s just one more lie surrounding the former NFL star.

• Sidley Austin, one of the country’s biggest law firms, agreed to pay a $27.5 million settlement to former partners who accused the firm of age discrimination. The law firm sought to argue that as partners, the accusers were technically not employees entitled to protections of the Age Discrimination in Employment Act. But the firm lost key preliminary court fights, paving the way for the settlement. Perhaps this is an example of the benefits of being a seasoned and savvy veteran.