This is technically not an actual job listing; however, it was assembled from the content of real recruitment ads…
At Agency X, a Director is a relationship guru—an inspirational leader and mentor. This person works with counterparts to foster and define a vision and leads team members toward this vision. He/she will work in our brand new Austin location and be a part of the agency that is on the radar of every marketing and communications company on the planet. Agency X, launched in 2006, focuses on coming up with ideas first without the distinction between disciplines and job titles, resulting in the highest Return on Ideas for clients. A Director is a connected player with his/her multi-functional teams, peers, the creative youth and our clients. He/she manages needs of team members to maximize learning and productivity while minimizing turnover. This person is a talented storyteller who is capable across multiple disciplines, such as digital, copywriting, design, interactive, CRM, promotional campaigns and environment/experiential. People that have experience with innovative direct marketing campaigns will be given high priority in our search for the best. The ideal candidate will be an outstanding strategic and conceptual thinker and persuasive communicator. Plus, he/she will be enthusiastic about business beyond marketing aspects. If you are up for the challenge, send your résumé, portfolio and cover letter explaining why your experience will help us take brands to immortal levels.
The true prospective employers are Project DaVinci, Saatchi & Saatchi X and Draftfcb. One agency has not yet done shit, and the other two have done nothing but. Here they are, nonetheless, hyping themselves like industry trendsetters. Too bad trophies aren’t awarded for breakthrough creativity in classified copywriting.
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