Not-so-surprising announcements in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…
• Lisa Van Allen (depicted above) testified at the R. Kelly child pornography trial on Monday, delivering the anticipated juicy details. Van Allen said she participated in threesomes with Kelly and the alleged victim; plus, she had sex with the star in a trailer, sauna room and indoor basketball court. The defense lawyers will probably argue she had intercourse with someone who looked like R. Kelly.
• Sharper Image is closing all its retail outlets, and will focus on wholesale, catalog and online sales. People always played with the gadgets and slumped into the massaging recliner, but did consumers ever really buy anything at Sharper Image stores?
• The International Air Transport Association declared on Monday it expects a $2.3 billion loss for 2008. The organization had predicted a $4.5 billion profit in March. Airline employees can expect to pack their bags—and probably get charged $15 in the process.
• The new Mike Myers’ movie, “The Love Guru,” is already drawing protests from Hindus who believe the film will be offensive. However, New Age guru Deepak Chopra is trying to stifle the initial criticism. “The premature outcry against the movie is itself religious propaganda,” wrote Chopra, citing protesters based their opinions on the film’s trailer. “As viewers will find out when the movie is released this summer, no one is more thoroughly skewered in it than I am—you could even say that I am made to seem preposterous.” Which means Chopra probably collected a preposterous amount of loot for appearing in the flick.
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