8034: Sealed Fate.

A Midweek MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• During a speech at a Fortune magazine women’s conference, President Barack Obama improvised after the presidential seal fell off the podium. Obama laughed and remarked, “That’s OK, I think everyone here knows who I am.” Yes, but a large number of attendees still think the President is a Muslim.

• Proposed legislation in San Francisco is targeting toy sales with children’s meals at fast food restaurants—potentially removing the happiness from Happy Meals. Of course, Mickey D’s is speaking out. “Public opinion has—and continues to be—overwhelmingly against this misguided legislation,” said a McDonald’s spokesperson. “Parents tell us they want to have the right and responsibility to make their own decisions and decide what’s right for their children—not lawmakers.” Geez, who’s writing this political shit—Mayor McCheese?

• Talbot’s stock dropped significantly with the news that the retailer plans to close up to 100 stores. Maybe the struggling retailer should consider selling toys with every frumpy outfit.

• Gary Coleman’s death has been officially ruled an accident by investigators in Utah. No word if Willis asked authorities, “Whatchu talkin’ ‘bout?”