7759: Changing Flight Plans.

Taking off in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Dave Chappelle went nuts on a private jet, prompting the pilot to make an emergency landing. The comedian refused to put on his seatbelt and repeatedly entered the cockpit. A representative explained Chappelle experienced an adverse reaction to something he had eaten and needed to use the rest room, but the facilities on the jet were “not the kind he needed.” Maybe next time he should fly on Soul Plane.

• Ashley Dupre, the former call girl made famous by former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, is now seeking a new career as a real estate broker. “New York City real estate has always been an interest of mine,” said Dupre. “It’s just something that I wanted to do. Where this goes is yet to be determined.” Insert your own punch line involving whorehouses.

7320: Calling In A Professional.

The New York Post turned to an expert for input on Tiger Woods’ alleged mistresses: Ashley Dupre.

Ashley sounds off on Tiger sex scandal

By Brian Niemietz and Laura Italiano

Ashley Dupre is teed off at all those Tiger Woods mistresses coming out of the woodwork.

First of all, these gals are taking money and gifts while seeing a high-powered celeb, the infamous escort griped yesterday to The Post. Then, they’re blabbing all about it in exchange for money.

Hey, who’s ho-ing now?

“My case in point,” the call-girl-turned-singer/author/model wrote The Post in a text message yesterday.

“Here you have all these girls accepting gifts, money, trips from Tiger in exchange for sex—all the while knowing he is married.

“And now they all can’t wait to tell their stories in exchange for even more money from the tabloids?

“And I was the hooker? At least I kept my mouth shut.”

It’s not the first time Dupre—the high-priced call girl whose $4,300 tryst with “Client No. 9” led to the political downfall of Gov. Eliot Spitzer—has gone on such a rant.

In September, she also railed against all the women who passed judgment on her, despite their own mercenary relationships with monied men.

“I’m often referred to as the ‘woman who brought down the governor’—excuse me, people, I didn’t call the tabloids,” Dupre said then.

“I didn’t blow the whistle, and I didn’t save ‘the dress,’ “ she wrote, a reference to Monica Lewinsky. “I did nothing to shine a light on my indiscretions or to ‘out’ anyone else.”

Dupre also insisted she has not “cashed in” on the scandal. No reality show, no Playboy spread, no big money deals.

The beauty does say she’s working on a book—but not a tell-all, despite the pleadings of numerous book publishers.

6710: Polls And Politics (Prostitutes Too).

Odd opinions in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A new poll indicates New Yorkers would prefer having Eliot Spitzer back as governor versus his successor, David Paterson. No word if people would also prefer to see Ashley Dupré as the first lady in the governor’s mansion.

• Rev. Jesse Jackson thinks the NAACP should act to help the struggling auto industry. This would mean helping the companies that cut spending with minority-owned advertising agencies, right?

• Discount retailer Filene’s Basement has “filened” for bankruptcy.

6628: Assorted Losers.

Transforming the news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The Los Angeles Times reported General Motors’ money troubles are adversely affecting its ability to provide marketing firepower for movie tie-in partners. Even super-powered robots can’t transform GM into a financially stable company.

• Ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer spoke out on his infamous prostitution escapades. “Like most of us, I suppose, I’ve had flaws,” said Spitzer. “I’ve tried to think about it deeply, address it. There are no excuses. I have tried to address these gremlins, confront them.” Hey, if Ashley Dupré is a Gremlin, we can’t wait to see the Ghoulies.

• Reports show more and more companies are cutting back on employee healthcare benefits and 401(k) matches. Whatever happened to the notion that a company’s most important asset are its people?

• A new study shows 1-in-5 U.S. 4-year-olds is obese, with a higher rate among American Indian kids. Look for Mickey D’s and Burger King to start visiting the reservations.

5679: Hot Body. Hot Head.

No class acts in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Ashley Dupré is now trying to develop a new dating-type reality TV show. It will probably be available via pay-per-view.

• Kanye West denied reports that he’s going to anger management classes. West posted on his blog, “Now the media is saying I’m going to anger management something or ’nother. I have never had any conversations about anger management. If anything, I need anger enhancement!! lol!” For anger enhancement classes, he should contact Foxy Brown and Naomi Campbell.

5660: Headlines And Heads.

Heading through the news with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A visitor to the new Madame Tussauds wax museum in Berlin tried to take home a souvenir—the head of the Hitler figure on display. The guy managed to rip the head off, allegedly to protest the exhibit. The headhunter was apprehended and charged, so don’t expect the head to pop up on eBay. Wonder if the museum will hire neo-Nazis to serve as security.

• The family of baseball legend Babe Ruth is seeking to have the star’s No. 3 permanently retired across Major League Baseball, and they’re pointing to Ruth’s humanitarian efforts for support. The family claims Ruth was a civil rights activist, barnstorming with Negro League players during the off-season. Additionally, Ruth signed a famous letter in 1942 denouncing Hitler and the slaughter of Jews. Maybe someone should redesign the Madame Tussauds exhibit to portray the Babe knocking off Hitler’s head with a baseball bat.

• Ashley Dupré, the call girl behind the infamous incident involving ex-New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, dropped her $10 million lawsuit against Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. Dupré was seeking compensation for Francis’ use of footage that featured her. Francis declared he feels “vindicated” and added, “I’m having a terrific July Fourth.” Dupré probably realized hookers rarely succeed in conflicts with pimps.

• Gay and lesbian marchers in Budapest, Hungary, were pelted with eggs, bottles and rocks by dozens of protestors. Cops used water cannons and tear gas to disperse the protestors, who also hurled Molotov cocktails and set a police van on fire. Ironically, the event was titled, “Dignity March.”

• Venus Williams won her fifth Wimbledon title and seventh Grand Slam championship after beating sister Serena Williams. Venus Williams is the 10th woman to win five Wimbledon singles titles and only the third in the 40-year history of the Open era after Martina Navratilova and Steffi Graf.

5410: Worlds Gone Wild.

Exposing deals in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Ashley Alexandra Dupre, the call girl linked to former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, is suing Girls Gone Wild creator Joe Francis for $10 million. Dupre is charging Francis with using her image to sell videos, even though she allegedly permitted Francis to film her in 2003. Perhaps this will inspire a spinoff series: When Call Girls Attack.

• The Wm. Wrigley Jr. Company, the maker of assorted gums, and Mars, the maker of M&Ms and more, announced plans to merge the companies. “Bringing together these iconic, world-class companies combines Wrigley’s strengths with the deep resources and proven brand-building savvy of Mars and will result in a powerful force for innovation and growth in the global confectionery marketplace,” said Warren Buffett, whose company will provide funding for Mars. Um, what are Wrigley’s strengths—the Doublemint Twins?

• General Motors announced plans to dump 3,500 workers because of lousy sales with pickup trucks and SUVs. A GM executive said, “With rising fuel prices, a softening economy and a downward trend on current and future market demand for full-size trucks, a significant adjustment was needed to align our production with market realities.” Since when has GM been in touch with reality?