Does anyone think this chick ever attended college?
Monday, July 21, 2008
Sunday, July 20, 2008
5725: Assorted Bull.
Sunday brunch with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…
• Merrill Lynch reported 2Q losses at $4.65 billion, bringing the company’s grand total loss to $19 billion in the past year. Merrill Lynch tells consumers there are always smart places for your money. Wonder if the places include Merrill Lynch.
• Florida took the dubious distinction of being the state to lose the most jobs over the past year, dumping 78,100 positions. Wish someone would up the total to 78,101 by axing CSI: Miami star David Caruso.
• DMX was busted again, this time for giving a fake name to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona to avoid paying a $7,500 bill last April. “He’s back in jail again,” said the local sheriff. “I don’t know why judges keep letting this guy out. Every time he goes in there, he gets out on bond.” Better make sure he signs the right name on his release papers.
• As scheduled, Pope Benedict XVI apologized on Saturday for the sexual crimes committed against children by Australia’s Roman Catholic clergy. “I am deeply sorry for the pain and suffering the victims have endured and I assure them as their pastor that I too share in their suffering,” said Benedict. The pope expressed similar regret in the U.S. last April. On Sunday, the pope called on young people to spurn materialism by declaring, “In so many of our societies, side by side with material prosperity, a spiritual desert is spreading: an interior emptiness, an unnamed fear, a quiet sense of despair.” Um, maybe the youth fear and despair has to do with encounters with Roman Catholic clergy.
• Brazil’s foreign minister sparked controversy during WTO meetings by declaring rich countries’ deception in trade talks were reminiscent of tactics employed by Nazi propaganda chief Joseph Goebbels. Hey, nothing speeds up international negotiations like Nazi references.
5724: Nonprofit Jerk Seeks Nonprofit Writer.
This actual craigslist ad seeks an experienced writer to draft a grant, coach the principal douche bag through the process, strategize the entire project and willingly revise the stuff indefinitely—and the writer won’t be paid a dime unless the grant is awarded. Talk about a guaranteed nonprofit endeavor.
Grant Writer Paid on Award Contingency
Seeking an experienced grant writer for a proposed startup Illinois nonprofit to be paid on contingency of award. Fee to be negotiated. Open to discussion of both flat fee and percentage of award arrangements but MUST be contingent upon actual award. Willingness to remain flexible, provide some advice and education to principal regarding the process, and use experience to make suggestions regarding grant seeking strategy.
Basic expectations of the grant writer:
- Consult with principal in order to better understand and come to agreement on the proposed project/mission/organization, feasibility, and process.
- Identify potential funding sources.
- Propose a reasonable and fair contingent compensation formula and schedule compatible with the actual award payment schedule (i.e. lump sum or otherwise.)
- Draft, write, and revise targeted grant proposals until award.
The organization/project involves comprehensive digitization of historical and current Illinois case law, and making it freely available to the public via publishing on the World Wide Web/Internet.
Please describe any relevant grant writing experience; and feel free to include any other information which helps explain (1) why you are qualified, (2) why you think you would be successful, and/or (3) why you are the best choice.
Saturday, July 19, 2008
5722: Everyday Bullshit.
It didn’t take extraordinary talent to produce this cliché-filled message.
Friday, July 18, 2008
5721: Even Legally Blind See We’re Not Colorblind.
From The New York Times…
Paterson, at N.A.A.C.P., Warns of Racism’s Power
By Jeremy W. Peters
CINCINNATI — David A. Paterson, in his first major speech to a national audience since becoming governor of New York, said on Thursday that even as black Americans rejoice about the possibility that Senator Barack Obama could become president, they cannot lose sight of the serious social and economic ills that plague their community and should remain mindful of the racism that still exists.
“The gap between the haves and have-nots right in our own community is wider than it has ever been before,” Mr. Paterson told a crowd of thousands at the N.A.A.C.P.’s annual convention here.
“No matter how prosperous we are, no matter how well heeled we may be, no matter how ambitious and successful we have been, we still can be cast under the same net regardless of our circumstances.”
Mr. Paterson, who is New York’s first black governor and only the third black man since Reconstruction to lead a state, addressed the convention as the intersection between race and politics in the United States appears especially fraught. Recent polls have shown that whites and blacks hold very different views of Mr. Obama, and that despite the senator’s candidacy, blacks do not believe that race relations have significantly improved.
Addressing those fissures in his speech, the governor said that he was not sure whether Americans would be able to put their differences aside in this election and support Mr. Obama.
“Can America reject the crucible of race that has dictated and pervaded all of our history to embrace an African-American man who has the right policies?” he said. “We will find out.”
[Read the full story here.]
5720: Dolls And Dummies.
Playing with dolls and dollars in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…
• A jury ruled the Bratz dolls were conceived while the original designer was still working for Mattel, creator of rival Barbie dolls. The decision could bring millions of dollars in damages to Mattel when the jury huddles during another proceeding. No word if Bratz were actually fashioned after Barbie or the cross-dressing Ken.
• Capital One’s 2Q profits dropped 40 percent, with the credit card company citing customers are defaulting on their loans. Look for Capital One to boost your APR to 40 percent. What’s in your wallet? The hands of Capital One’s collection department.
• Qantas Airlines is dumping 1,500 jobs, citing rising fuel costs. So 1,500 people will join the koala bear in expressing hate for Qantas.
• An employee with 1-800-Flowers was fired after sending a threatening email from her work computer. The worker sought to stifle a University of Minnesota professor who criticized the teaching of creationism. “You have two choices, you can quit your job for the good of the children. Or you can get your brains beat in,” read the email. The employee tried to cover her email trail to no avail, as 1-800-Flowers ultimately canned her. No word if anyone sent a “Pick-Me-Up” bouquet—or if they’ll introduce a new service: 1-800-DeathThreats.
• Bill Clinton sought to support Jesse Jackson over his recent nutty gaffe. Clinton remarked, “If all of us lived on live mics, then 100% of us in this room would be embarrassed from time to time.” Sounds like the makings for a new reality TV series: Hot Mics.
5719: Wait Until 2012…
…Unless Hillary Clinton lands the vice presidency, and Barack Obama resigns after his first week in the Oval Office.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
5717: Me And My Manga.
Wow, the likeness is astonishing. Not. Hell, they didn’t even get the hair part right.
5716: Pharma Diversity Ads May Cause Vomiting.
Pharma companies run bad diversity ads too. Imagine that.
5715: Flagging Sagging Profits.
A profits roller coaster in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…
• Six Flags shares dropped 44 percent. One analyst wrote, “Park admissions are expected to suffer this summer because of the economic outlook and related deferred investment in new rides and facilities.” Maybe the Six Flags Asian guy will attend the next shareholders meeting and holler, “Profit: No Flags!”
• Delta and American Airlines parent AMR reported 2Q losses at over $1 billion. To turn things around, passengers will now be charged $1 billion for every extra carry-on bag.
• EBay’s 2Q profits rose 22 percent, sparked by strong growth from its e-commerce sites and PayPal service. Expect to start bidding on airline jets and Six Flags roller coasters soon.
5714: Pulling The Lever…?
Take a close look at the male’s left hand area highlighted in the ad below and submit your thoughts.
5712: Coffee, Tea Or Jumbo Chocolate Malt?
This ad runs in one of those in-flight magazines. Is it savvy media placement or insensitive to obese passengers?
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
5711: Apologies Unaccepted…?
More sorry states in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…
• Now Fox News is claiming Jesse Jackson also used the N-Word during his “hot mic” commentary on Barack Obama. Jackson released a new statement on Wednesday that read, “I am deeply saddened and distressed by the pain and sorrow that I have caused as a result of my hurtful words. I apologize again to Senator Barack Obama, Michelle Obama, their children as well as to the American public. There really is no justification for my comments and I hope that the Obama family and the American public will forgive me. I also pray that we, as a nation, can move on to address the real issues that affect the American people.” You know Nas is probably working on a track about Jackson right now.
• Pope Benedict XVI praised Australia for apologizing to the country’s indigenous Aborigines, citing the government’s “courageous decision to acknowledge the injustices committed against the indigenous peoples in the past.” The pope will also reportedly apologize for church sex scandals in the country. Wonder if he’ll comment on Jesse Jackson’s apology too.
5710: You’re Not The Boss Of Me Now.
From The Chicago Sun-Times…
Blacks rely on many leaders
Black America has long wrestled with the concept of a singular leader to articulate its problems, ambitions and triumphs.
Everyone can stop looking now: There isn’t one.
Barack Obama comes closest, according to a new Gallup Poll: 29 percent of blacks polled chose him when asked, “If you had to name one individual or leader in the U.S. to speak for you on issues of race, who would it be?”
What do exist are multiple leaders who each can expound upon the black experience, from fatherlessness and violence, to jobs, business opportunities and education. Six percent of respondents say Al Sharpton is their leader of choice, and 4 percent choose the Rev. Jesse Jackson. The list also includes Bill and Hillary Clinton (3 percent), Maya Angelou, Tavis Smiley and Cornel West (1 percent each).
Relying on the right leader for the right message is part of the black community’s realization that it is not monolithic. Class gains due to better education and rising incomes, for example, often trump race.
Still, structural and institutional barriers to equality exist, along with the need to leverage these gains to assume greater responsibility for one's self and larger community. Perhaps that’s why 6 percent of blacks polled indicated “myself” as their choice.
Often, though, common aspects of being black in America need to be conveyed and addressed. From one voice or many, the message must be delivered with utter clarity. Black America may no longer lean on a single leader, but it still needs leadership.
5709: Covering All The Cultural Clichés.
Diversity makes us stronger. Your talent makes us better. But it never seems to lead to stronger, better diversity advertising.
5708: Jose Canseco Never Mentioned This.
All those years of insisting he only used spinach were lies. Blatant lies.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
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