Thursday, February 28, 2008

5172: Mea Culpa Runneth Over.

Sorry state of affairs in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Now Congress is considering issuing an apology over slavery. “We’ve seen states step forward on this,” said Sen. Tom Harkin. “I’m really shocked, just shocked” that the federal government hasn’t said it’s sorry. “It’s time to do so.” Trying to score some early points with potential Commander-In-Chief Barack Obama?

• The producer of the Oscars telecast said he’ll apologize to Whoopi Goldberg for excluding her from a montage depicting past hosts. “No harm was intended, and I feel very, very badly that she was left out,” said Gil Cates. “I’m going to call her and tell her that.” No word yet if Congress will join him.

• As part of the baristas retraining, Starbucks encouraged its employees to spend more time chatting with customers. Maybe they can also express heartfelt apologies for the long lines and high prices.

• Sprint recorded a $29.5 billion loss for 4Q 2007. “We plan to share some of our initiatives for improving the customer experience and operations next quarter,” said CEO Dan Hesse. “Strategic assessments and changes may take longer to complete.” So much for moving at the speed of light.

• Michael Jackson managed to avoid seeing his Neverland Ranch go up for auction. The King of Pop secured a loan to deal with the $24.5 million he owes on the property. Maybe he can sell Thriller ringtones to Sprint.

• Sears Chairman Edward Lampert thinks he and his team are like the Super Bowl champion New York Giants. Based on 4Q profits that plunged 47 percent, he’s probably closer to the New York Knicks.

• Manhattan prosecutors want a DNA sample from rapper Ja Rule in order to connect him with a handgun seized from his ride. If you don’t get spit, you must acquit.

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