At Advertising Age, DigitasLBi North America CEO Tony Weisman presented “Ten Things That Won’t Happen in 2015”—allowing DigitasLBi hacks to submit a lame twist on the typical list of predictions. To add to the cleverness, MultiCultClassics offers “Ten More Things That Won’t Happen in 2015—Or Ever.”
10. Publicis Groupe CEO Maurice Lévy will make an intelligent purchase of a digital agency.
9. The management teams at Razorfish Global and Publicis.Sapient Digital will bring order and harmony to their respective enterprises.
8. Sprint will decide they were better off working with Team Sprint.
7. WPP Overlord Sir Martin Sorrell will compliment Publicis Groupe CEO Maurice Lévy for his savvy decision-making and leadership.
6. AgencySpy posts about DigitasLBi will only receive positive and praising comments.
5. Publicis Groupe CEO Maurice Lévy will recommend a Black female as his successor.
4. DigitasLBi will produce an original concept.
3. Tony Weisman will treat attractive female staffers with professionalism and respect.
2. The DigitasLBi unicorn logo will be replaced with a flying pig.
1. Publicis Groupe CEO Maurice Lévy will finally get “this digital thing.”