Sunday, March 01, 2015

12554: Pornhub Jerking Off Again.

Give Pornhub credit for its continued success at generating self-hype. But not much else. The latest promotional fluffer piece involved introducing the Wankband—a device allowing users to charge their phones while masturbating. Imagine the brainstorm session that led to Wankband. Then again, don’t. Just realize that Pornhub is run by hackneyed jerk-offs who don’t deserve the masturbation-charged time of day.

Pornhub develops ‘Wankband’ gadget that lets users charge phones by masturbating


The power is in your hands.

Adult video site Pornhub is developing a device that allows men to simultaneously save the planet and charge their phones by masturbating.

The genius gadget, called “Wankband,” is strapped to the naughty user’s wrist and generates electricity when it’s moved up and down, according to the XXX-rated website, which claims to have the Earth’s best interest in mind.

“It’s well known how incredibly fast we run out of our natural resources and, what’s worse, how much they pollute in order to create energy,” a promotional video on the pornography site says.

“At Pornhub, we realize that by offering our users millions of hours of adult content, we are part of the problem. That’s why we’re going to show men how they can save the planet while doing what they do best.”

The creative cuff contains a valve with a small weight inside that generates and stores the electricity.

It also has a USB port on the side to power laptops, phone, cameras and tablets.

“Stop jacking off and start jacking on,” the clever ad says.

Not surprisingly, the accessory has already quickly formed a fan base.

“If anybody thinks the #WankBand isn’t anything short of genius is obviously in denial,” @studmuffwstaken of N.J. tweeted Saturday.

“I can finally fulfill my dreams of becoming a power company! #wankband,” @minibsez posted.

It’s unclear when the band will hit the shelves.

It’s still in its development stage, but the company is looking for “loving hands” to test it out when it’s finished.

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