Essay 1427

A moronic MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A judge rejected the lawsuit from two frat boys claiming they were duped by producers for the filming of “Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan.” The guys charged producers got them drunk before having them sign waivers; plus, they were told the movie would only play in Kazakhstan. But the judge ruled they failed to meet the standard for a preliminary injunction. However, they absolutely exceed the standard for being morons.

• Nicole Richie was busted for a DUI, admitting to arresting officers that she had smoked marijuana and ingested the painkiller Vicodin. However, she did not launch into an anti-Semitic tirade, brandish firearms or attract throngs of paparazzi. Police released Richie after she posted $15,000 bail. Which is good, since the jailhouse probably did not have prisoner uniforms small enough to fit her.

• The FTC is cracking down on word-of-mouth marketing, telling advertisers to fully disclose when someone is being paid to hawk products. “This [new FTC announcement] tells marketers like Procter & Gamble that their ‘sponsored consumers’ must disclose that they are shilling, or they are probably in violation of the prohibition against deceptive advertising. That’s big,” said the executive director of Commercial Alert, a consumer activist group. “It will change practices in the word-of-mouth marketing industry.” Yeah, now advertisers will be forced to devise new ways of lying to consumers.

• Looks like the VNU decision to eliminate Marketing y Medios (see Essay 1362) was just the beginning of a downsizing master plan. The media conglomerate started distributing pink slips last Friday, with the intention of cutting about 4,100 jobs during 2007 — nearly 10 percent of its global workforce. Early firings included top editorial staffers at The Hollywood Reporter. Maybe special excerpts from The Hollywood Reporter will be inserted into Adweek, Brandweek and Mediaweek.

• Now Health Department officials claim the E. Coli in Taco Bell food may not be from green onions, but rather, white onions. Sounds like another case of whites trying to blame someone else for their crimes. Just kidding.