Sunday, December 11, 2011
9586: Remembering Herman Cain.
“…So it boiled down to family first,” explained former GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain on his decision to suspend his campaign. Right. If the man had put family first, he might still be a contender versus just inspiring a Top Ten List.
Top Ten Things Herman Cain Will Do Now
10. Spend more time with the estranged family.
9. Dancing With The Stars 2012.
8. Call Rick Perry to say, “Yo, I suspended my campaign—and almost matched your “Oops” moment with my Libya blubbering—but I’m still trouncing your ass!”
7. Resume the search for Nicole’s real killer.
6. Take on the Tea Party by starting the Pizza Party.
5. Relaunch his campaign to become President—of the National Restaurant Association.
4. Call Michele Bachmann to say, “I could help you in the polls, if you know what I’m saying.”
3. Present his global Booty Call Map.
2. Turn Women for Herman Cain into a dating site.
1. Hang out with his mentors, Bill Clinton and Tiger Woods.