17182: Gordon Ramsay Will Work For Food…?

 

BBH London is responsible for this Burger King UK campaign starring Gordon Ramsay.

 

No, the new Wagyu burger was not made by Gordon—because he’s probably busy cooking up menu items for his own burger chain.

16705: From Popeyes To Poop.

 

Comedian Ken Jeong went from promoting Popeyes to Cottonelle…? Perfect.

 

16345: The Faces Of Leadership In Adland.

 

Adweek published a report titled, “In 2021, 73% of Agency Leaders Were White. In 2022, It Was 90%.”

 

Is there any reason to read beyond the headline? And the accompanying royalty-free stock illustration (depicted above) does not reflect reality at all.

 

Meanwhile, Advertising Age published a report on celebrity-owned agencies—with an image (depicted below) that represents the polar opposite of Adweek’s revelation.

 

15680: Watching For Exclusivity.

 

Could Breitling not afford to Photoshop an A-level celebrity of color into the mix? This ad is feeling super monochromatic.

15641: Serena Williams Sells Drugs…?

 

Serena Williams for UBRELVY Migraine Medicine? And thank goodness that eligible patients may pay as little as $10 for prescriptions—heaven knows Williams could use the financial assistance.

 

If anyone wonders why Big Pharma charges ginormous prices for drugs, well, just consider the marketing production dollars required by White advertising agencies to sign A-level celebrity spokespeople.

 

It’s enough to induce major headaches…

 

 

11692: 7UP And Vodka.

Connecting a soft drink and recovering alcoholic with the line, “Drink what you want,” is the move of a desperate brand. Or a shitty advertising agency. Probably both.

11007: Young Influentials, Old Story.

Adweek’s Young Influentials presented “20 superstars from media, marketing and tech—all under 40 years old.” The list managed to include one Black Influential. Of course, he’s a celebrity with rap skills who will likely be named a brand ambassador or global creative director soon.

10988: Where All The Black People Are.

Advertising Age published an inane cover story on the phenomenon of celebrities becoming global creative directors and brand ambassadors. See, Madison Avenue is wasting its time recruiting Blacks via urban high schools and inner-city outreach programs. Start scouting at the GRAMMYs and BET Awards.

10926: Recoiling In Horrors.

Earlier this month, New American Dimensions President-CEO David Morse published a perspective at The Big Tent titled, “In a Culture of Mass Shootings, the Ad Industry Shares the Blame.” In the piece, Morse wondered about the responsibility our industry faced for promoting firearms in light of the continuing tragedies involving guns. The subsequent comments seemed to scoff at Morse’s opinions—yet perusing the latest issue of RECOIL magazine almost corroborates everything the adman wrote.

The 2nd Amendment remains a popular theme. Wonder if any of these advertisers have read what Thom Hartmann wrote at Truthout.

President Obama has been criticized for remarking about people who “cling to guns and religion,” but this ad apparently has no reservations connecting things.

Celebrity endorsements are utilized too. It’s only a matter of time before Betty White is hawking rifles too.

Morse highlighted the masculinity of gun culture, and RECOIL clearly displays the reality with pin-up style photography and a Girls section on its website.

10411: Diapering With The Stars.

The Great American Try-On invites you to join celebrities in seeing how Depend® products literally fit your life. Is the brand encouraging everyone to fully test the products’ effectiveness?

9576: Muddled Muppet Marketing.

No, seriously, why is Cookie Monster hawking organic waffles?

9551: Taking Shots At Ashton Kutcher.

It’s only a matter of time before Nikon-created adultery porn appears on the Web.

9523: Acura’s Christmas Contradiction.

Acura criticizes people who go overboard with spending during the holidays by presenting a commercial starring Bette Midler—which likely cost the advertiser a small fortune. Plus, these assholes continue to push the idea of automobiles as stocking stuffers.

9181: Adweek Scoop—Celebs Endorse Brands.

Adweek writer Robert Klara follows up his intensive examinations of paper towels and product colors with another breakthrough exposé: celebrity shampoo endorsements. Um, celebrities have been endorsing brands in nearly every category forever—from automobiles to food to appliances to apparel to travel and more. When it comes to ignorance of the industry, Adweek is head and shoulders above other trade sources.

9060: Moms Can Relate To Celine Dion…?

Does anyone believe that Céline Dion doesn’t have a squadron of nannies attending to the monitoring of her babies? And no way does she shop at Walmart. Also, if you’re going to use a celebrity mom to sell to moms, is it out of the question to depict her with, say, children?

8874: Celebrities Would Not Endorse Adweek.

Adweek presented a story that provides further evidence that the trade publication lacks expertise in the advertising field—and its editors are just plain dumb. An Adweek/Harris Interactive poll essentially asked people to gauge the effectiveness of celebrity endorsements. First, this question has been around as long as celebrities have hawked brands. Second, based on the chart below, the poll was conducted in the least scientific way imaginable. Third, Adweek’s ultimate conclusions were, well, inconclusive. Did Adweek ever consider a fresh take on the matter? The publication could have examined how celebrity endorsements have evolved to include product placement, events, promotional partnerships and cause marketing. Instead, Adweek expelled a contrived turd with zero value to the average adperson. And the publication even used a celebrity—Mr. T—to spark interest for the lame piece. Pity the fools at Adweek.

Celebrities Moving Product? Not So Much

Consumers just say no to names aligned with brands

By Mike Chapman

American consumers insist that they are not swayed by celebrity endorsements. When asked by Adweek/Harris Interactive what their response is when a product or service is endorsed by a celebrity, more than three-quarters answered that it has no impact on their intent to buy. Just 4 percent said it makes them more likely to purchase.

Gender and age made little difference to the responses. The only notable variation was that nearly one in five of those aged 55 plus were less likely to buy something precisely because a celebrity had endorsed it.

Brands and their agencies press on regardless, pushing faces and names along with their products and services in a never-ending parade. They must know something we don’t. Or is it that we are just reluctant to admit that a celebrity endorsement makes a difference to our buying decisions?

5924: Olympic Shilling.

Does anyone believe Olympic champions eat any of the products they hype?

Essay 4265

Playing with a full deck in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• NFL star Michael Vick’s dog-fighting problems continue to adversely affect his endorsement deals. Trading-card company Upper Deck plans to remove future Vick cards from UD and Fleer sets. Upper Deck released a statement that read, “The allegations alone have resulted in an outpouring of very strong emotion with our organization and among the collecting community. We believe collectors will agree and support this decision as being the best course of action for our football business.” Wonder if Vick will play the race card.

• Ford Motor Company will recall 3.6 million cars, trucks and SUVs, responding to a faulty cruise control switch. In January 2005, Ford recalled 6 million vehicles based on troubles with cruise control systems. At least the automaker is making defective progress.

• Nicole Richie has voiced her choice of a prison to serve her 4-day sentence, voting for the Los Angeles County jail. Richie had been ordered to do her time in a county jail or city jail. So she picked the county life over city life.

• Usher and his fiancée wound up marrying after all. The couple had postponed their wedding last week, allegedly haggling over the details of the prenuptial agreement. Guess Usher finally chose the specifics of his prison sentence.

• Membership has its privileges, but they no longer include being associated with Tiger Woods. The golf superstar has split with sponsor American Express. “He brought a lot of value to AmEx. He’s an incredible athlete with an incredible work ethic, and that runs well with what our brand is all about,” said a company spokesman. “Sometimes, strategies change. We wanted to move our dollars to build a broader base of consumer experiences.” Keeping Woods probably exceeded their spending limit.

• The U.S. Army is now offering $20,000 bonuses to recruits willing to sign up and quickly head to training camp. Calling it the “quick-ship” program, the Army hopes to boost sagging enlistment numbers. Whatever happened to wooing people with feelings of pride and adventure? Better change the new tagline from “Army Strong” to “Army Desperate.”

• Eddie Murphy is now admitting he’s the daddy of Melanie “Scary Spice” Brown’s baby. Murphy released a statement that read, “Mr. Murphy and Ms. Brown dated very briefly and never made any plans of ANY sort. He acknowledges paternity of the child Angel, and has paid child support to Ms. Brown as well as covering the expenses of her pregnancy.” Talk about a “quick-ship” program.

• A federal investigation has been launched to determine if the Los Angeles Fire Department allows racism and discrimination to flourish in the firehouses. The LAFD released a statement that read, “The Los Angeles Fire Department takes all workplace environment issues seriously. It has been and remains our goal to create a positive workplace that supports all our members.” They’ll probably hold a “Ladies’ Night Spaghetti Dinner” to boost morale (see Essay 1677, 1451 and more).