Essay 390

Big, Fat Liars in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Mickey D’s admitted its french fries have one-third more trans fat than previously reported. The new findings came from an improved testing process that produces more accurate results. “As part of our ongoing voluntary efforts to provide our customers with the best science-based information, we continually enhance our testing,” said a McDonald’s official. Here’s another probable new factoid: The typical McDonald’s customer is one Double Quarter Pounder with Cheese away from a massive coronary.

• Busta Rhymes told police he couldn’t provide information about the recent shooting because he was grieving (see Essay 388). However, the victim’s sister-in-law lashed out over the rapper’s no-show at the memorial service. “To [Busta Rhymes and his crew], all these people that watch them — that watch their bodies — are replaceable,” she said. “Why aren’t [Rhymes and witnesses] cooperating to find the person that shot him?” Grieving at the Grammy Awards maybe?

• D.C. Council member Marion Barry’s tax sentencing was postponed. An irked judge was forced to delay the proceedings because Barry failed to promptly file his returns, make payment arrangements on outstanding debts and provide certain papers to the court. Not sure if they meant tax papers or rolling paper.

• New Jersey Assemblyman William Payne is spending Black History Month trying to get schools to teach Black history. In 2002 New Jersey passed the nation’s first law to mandate that schools integrate Black history into regular curriculum. But some educators don’t know the law exists, prompting the state’s education commissioner to send reminder memos. Wonder if the delinquent educators even know Black History Month exists.

• The U.S. Army has been stepping up recruiting efforts among Hispanic youth. In the last five years, Hispanic enlistments have risen 26 percent. However, critics argue the recruiters can be sneaky, with techniques including repeated phone calls, free meals at favorite restaurants and trips to the gym. “The recruiter does not lie, but he does not tell the whole truth,” one critic said. “If you don’t know the question to ask, you don’t get the information. With language and cultural differences, it’s complicated.” Can’t believe the military would be so calculating and deceptive.