Ratting out the news in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…
• According to the Palestinian information minister, a Mickey Mouse wannabe appeared on a children’s TV show telling Palestinian kids to fight Israel and strive for worldwide Islamic domination. “You and I are laying the foundation for a world led by Islamists,” said the character on a recent episode. “We will return the Islamic community to its former greatness, and liberate Jerusalem, God willing, liberate Iraq, God willing, and liberate all the countries of the Muslims invaded by the murderers.” Wonder if the show will introduce militant Mouseketeers.
• O.J. Simpson’s lawyer insists his client was kicked out of a restaurant because of race (see Essay 3005), and the attorney intends to pursue the matter and possibly sue the restaurant. The lawyer warned, “[The restaurant owner] screwed with the wrong guy, he really did.” Sounds like the perfect defender for Simpson.
• Singer Akon apologized for performing a raunchy dance with a 14-year-ol girl during a concert. “It was never my intention to embarrass or take advantage of my fans in any way, especially those under the age of 18,” said Akon. R. Kelly wondered why the apology was necessary.
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The attorney for Simpson went on to say, “Shit, can’t sue. Any judgement would just get handed over to the Goldmans. O.J. will just have to handle this the old-fashioned way.”
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