16798: ICYMI NAACP PSA POV WTF.

 

Advertising Age spotlighted an NAACP video seemingly seeking to guilt viewers into making charitable donations by stressing the general US society’s diminishing interest in equality.

 

“Four years ago, 28 million Americans posted the black square,” states the announcer in reference to a 2020 social media stunt. “If we had $1 for each one, we could make change that lasts. It’s time to come together again. It’s time to keep advancing.”

 

Okay, except the campaign was crafted by Edelman, a White public relations and advertising conglomerate also lessening its performative PR and heat shields—despite displaying patronizing declarations of DEIBA+ dedication.

 

Credited as a co-creator is Eleanor, an enterprise claiming to be the first and only Black and woman-owned production company in the US and UK. The “in the US and UK” qualifier probably validates the company’s contention, as there are Black and woman-owned production companies in the US, albeit undoubtedly underrepresented and undercompensated with crumbs.

 

Not sure why the NAACP didn’t award the assignment to a Black-owned advertising agency.

 

Indeed, shouldn’t the NAACP go after places like Edelman for their historic failure to advance people of color?

 

NAACP calls out racial justice supporters who went silent after 2020

 

Ad from Edelman and Eleanor admonishes those who supported racial justice before going quiet on the subject

 

By Brandon Doerrer

 

The National Association for the Advancement of Colored People is calling out supporters of the racial justice movement who have gone silent since 2020.

 

A new campaign from the NAACP shows a white woman participating in Blackout Tuesday on June 2, 2020, when Instagram users posted pictures of black squares with the hashtag #BlackOutTuesday to protest racism and police brutality after the police killings of George Floyd, Ahmaud Arbery and Breonna Taylor. The woman proceeds to make posts of herself holding protest signs and books on antiracism for the next two months before returning to her normal life.

 

Flash forward to September 2024 and the woman mutes TV news coverage of ongoing racial injustices.

 

“Four years ago, 28 million Americans posted the black square,” a voice-over says. “If we had $1 for each one, we could make change that lasts.”

 

The 60-second spot will appear across streaming video and paid social. The NAACP will also comment on original black square posts from the accounts with the most followers, encouraging celebrities, athletes and influencers who participated in the moment to revive their efforts.

 

Edelman handled creative efforts while Eleanor led production. Candice Vernon directed the spot.

 

The ad is intended to reach a new generation of donors and calls out those who temporarily supported the NAACP four years ago. Two in three donors from 2020 have not returned to support the NAACP, according to the organization.

 

The ad also refers to corporations that have pulled back on DEI pledges, many of which were established following Floyd’s death: “And yet another company disbanded its DEI department,” a newscaster says during the ad.

 

The growing list of companies rolling back DEI initiatives includes Lowe’s, Ford, Harley-Davidson, Tractor Supply Company, Jack Daniel’s marketer Brown-Forman, John Deere and Molson Coors.

 

The ad ends with a collection of black squares listing different causes the NAACP is fighting for, from closing the racial wealth gap to improving food systems.

16764: Dove’s Attempt To Be Real Ballsy Not A Real Beauty.

 

The Edelman creative team responsible for this Dove Men+Care concept should be kicked in the balls. 

 

16473: Help Wanted—Exclusive Experience Required.

 

Trends in job listings expose more reasons why Adland maintains its exclusivity and systemic racism—and how many White advertising agencies maintain delusions of grandeur.

 

Edelman claims that creative director candidates whose ideas are featured in the New York Times and the Cannes shortlist will be in good company. Having a complete lack of integrity and no ethical/moral conscience helps too.

 

The Kitchen—the in-house White ad agency/production studio at Kraft Heinz—seeks candidates whose experience includes, “International Recognition: You have created a world-class campaign that achieved international fame or won multiple international awards.” Okay, but it’s likely that creatives there are viewed as kitchen help.

 

Sorry, but stating the need for global trophies is a discriminatory prerequisite, as most award shows are exclusive affairs—ie, these contests are crony clubs dominated by White men and White women, which accurately reflects the industry. In short, seeking award-winning candidates translates to casting your net in a limited talent pool of familiar fish.

 

16389: In Adland, Anti-Pollution Trumps Anti-Racism.

 

Advertising Age reported on Clean Creatives—another do-gooder group promoting themselves as “a movement of advertisers, PR professionals, and their clients cutting ties with fossil fuels”—whose latest campaign publicly calls out Edelman, McCann, Ogilvy, and Publicis for working with fossil fuels.

 

Not quite sure why anyone’s surprised to uncover fossil fuels being hyped via firms run by fossil fools.

 

Regardless, it’s more outrageous to realize the list of Adland enterprises into fossil fuels would be totally eclipsed by the directory of White advertising agencies fueled by systemic racism. Yet no one seems inspired to clean up that mess.

16269: DE&I = Disappointing, Evasive & Insincere.

 

LinkedIn News reported that workers are nonplussed by DE&I initiatives—which is roughly the equivalent of declaring that water is wet. Additional shockers included employees believe that companies are failing to meet commitments and heat shields are not receiving enough crumbs.

 

Most outrageous is the story was inspired by an Edelman report on business and social justice—which is roughly the equivalent of pot calling kettle non-Black. That is, it’s performative PR from self-proclaimed masters of promotional propaganda. Did Edelman simply poll its own employees for the DE&I-damning data?

 

Can’t help but wonder how the figures compare to the racist reality in Adland.

16107: Edelman Trust Barometer Is An Oxymoron.

 

The Drum published a perspective from Clean Creatives Director Duncan Meisel, calling out the contradiction of Edelman presenting an annual “Trust Barometer” while engaging with Big Oil companies and lobbying organizations “that promote climate misinformation and denial…”

 

Well, it’s hardly the first time that Edelman has displayed hypocrisy and shady behavior.

 

After all, the place pontificates on DE&I, despite having leadership that looks like a typically and predominately White clan.

 

White advertising agencies are inherently untrustworthy and rooted in lies. Those that started as PR firms—such as Edelman—add another level of spin and deception.

 

The Edelman website features an entire section under the banner of trust. Yet a search for “integrity” yields few honest results.

 

Why Edelman’s Trust Barometer is undermined by its work with fossil fuels

 

By Duncan Meisel

 

Edelman’s 2023 Trust Barometer earlier this week revealed the public’s waning trust in major institutions but, campaign group Clean Creatives director Duncan Meisel believes the PR agency’s relationship with Big Oil undermines trust in the brand.

 

Every January since 2000, Richard Edelman, CEO of the comms giant named after him, has shared Edelman’s premier report: The Trust Barometer. This annual survey of tens of thousands of people worldwide is a guidebook for the major social issues business leaders need to face and features strategies to rebuild trust in a social and political environment that sorely needs more of it. This is a valuable contribution to the business community and PR practitioners.

 

The biggest problem with the Trust Barometer today is its messenger: Richard Edelman and Edelman itself. For most of the past 23 years, Edelman has taken more contracts with fossil fuel companies and lobbying organizations that promote climate misinformation and denial than any communications agency on the planet.

 

Edelman booked $440m in contracts with The American Petroleum Institute (API) at the same time the group was funding climate deniers. It currently works with Saudi refining and chemicals giant SABIC, as well as Shell, Exxon and others who face numerous legal and regulatory actions over their misleading statements about climate change. Up until 2021, it worked with America’s most vocal defender of polluting cars and dirty refineries, the American Fuel and Petrochemical Association.

 

Edelman has faced public protests, employee revolts, and consistent negative media coverage over its fossil fuel work for at least a decade. The backlash is not a surprise: according to the 2023 Trust Barometer itself, climate change is the number one “existential social fear” facing the global public today. Furthermore, “having a societal impact is a strong expectation or deal breaker when considering a job” for 69% of employees.

 

72% of the people surveyed in the Trust Barometer say it is the obligation of CEOs to “defend facts and call out questionable science used to justify bad social policy.” When its work with polluters is called into question, Edelman tends to defend their contracts by saying that they are helping those companies in the climate transition.

 

However, there is no evidence that Edelman’s fossil fuel engagement strategy is working. In fact, we have gigatons of evidence that it is failing: every known Edelman client in the fossil fuel industry is polluting more carbon than when they began working together. Claiming to be a part of an energy transition while working for polluters is exactly the kind of questionable fact businesses should be calling out, not promoting.

 

Listen to the experts

 

The most trusted voices identified by the Trust Barometer in 2023 are two groups that Edelman has stridently ignored: scientists and NGO leaders. Over 450 scientists have called on advertising and PR companies to drop fossil fuel clients, along with dozens of climate justice NGOs.

 

The core of the Trust Barometer’s offering is that it provides a strong research basis for leaders to make ambitious moves to address the issues that matter most to the public. It’s a playbook for bold action. On climate, Edelman says six point five times more people want ambitious leadership than are worried about companies doing too much, a higher ratio than on any other issue researched.

 

Right now, the leadership of Edelman is refusing to put its own advice into practice. If this continues, the credibility of the Trust Barometer will decline, with real costs for the communications industry, and business executives who want to lead on major social issues.

 

After more than a decade of controversy – a decade that also was the hottest in recorded history – CEO Richard Edelman has all the information he needs in Edelman’s own reporting to make the call to drop fossil fuel clients. Ending work with polluters would restore trust in his own brand, and make the next edition of the Trust Barometer the most compelling one yet. We trust they’ll see the light...

 

Duncan Meisel is the director of campaign group Clean Creatives.

16003: KFC WTF Brainwave Bucket BS.

 

Edelman in China is responsible for this thoroughly irresponsible KFC Brainwave Bucket bullshit described as follows:

 

Stress and overthinking is pervasive in the chaotic 24-hour metropolis. Recent studies indicate Hong Kong is one of the most stressful cities in the world and ranks #1 in the stress index of employees all around East Asia. However, scientific findings have shown that comfort food relieves the stress response in the brain. KFC is encouraging Hong Kong’s overthinking citizens to think less and indulge more with Finger Lickin’ Good fried chicken.

 

Therefore we created the KFC Brainwave Bucket — a brain-sensing helmet with a built-in headband that analyses people’s brain activity. The data from the helmet is connected to an app which provides real-time biofeedback showing how active the mind is. The helmet design, and the mind-detecting enclosure, is based on KFC’s iconic bucket. People are invited to sit inside the bucket-esque structure and wear the helmet on their head, after which they’re encouraged to switch off and think less with the help of some Finger Lickin’ Good chicken.

 

A fun and lighthearted way to bring the comforting effects of KFC to Hong Kongers, the event launch is being held at KFC’s flagship store on Oct 22 where customers are invited to try the experience for themselves. Those who embrace the comforting qualities of the Colonel’s signature chicken and stop overthinking are rewarded with more fried chicken!

 

In short, the campaign is encouraging stress eating—which has been shown in ‘scientific findings’ to trigger overeating, obesity and mental health issues. Somebody should examine the heads of the idiots involved with this promotional propaganda.

 

14276: Family Secrets & Lies.

Adweek reported on patronizing propaganda from HP, featuring a video designed to shatter the “All-American Family” myths and stereotypes. Of course, HP had no problem assigning the project to White pseudo-advertising agency Edelman, where the exclusive leadership hardly reflects society in general. The video is part of the “Reinvent Mindsets” campaign. Considering how HP continues to partner with White advertising agencies where diversity is a dream deferred, diverted and denied, calling it the “Reinvent Hypocrisy” campaign would be more appropriate.

What Does an ‘All-American Family’ Look Like? HP Created a Challenge to Show the New Reality

Lessons learned in new film celebrating inclusion

By Doug Zanger

To most people, the image of an “all-American family” consists of a heterosexual white man, woman and children. 74 percent of 2,000 people surveyed in an HP-commissioned study believed that the typical household in this country fits the generational and societal “white picket fence” stereotype. However, according to the 2010 U.S. Census, only one in four American families matches that description.

In a compelling social experiment and film, HP brought together 13 Chicago families of different races, ethnicities, ages, genders and sexual orientations. Each person was purposely separated not to reveal which families they were connected to. From there, a smaller group was brought in and asked to choose individuals to put together what they believed constituted an “all-American family.” The ‘families’ that were created followed a predictable script: same race, different gender, heterosexual.

Unsurprisingly, none of the people choosing the families got it right. An African-American lesbian mom, for example, was paired with a man of the same race who is actually married to a white woman. Additionally, a gay white father was placed with a heterosexual white woman and two children.

The reveal of the actual families was a stunning, emotional revelation and lesson learned about bias. One participant said that it changed “my perspective on a traditional American family. What surprised me was the man who I picked—it’s a two-father family—and when I picked him I [thought] this guy looks most like how the stereotypical father might look.”

After the real families came together, they were photographed, and the pictures were printed on HP printers and placed on a wall to commemorate the exercise.

“The social experiment helped spotlight the beauty and range of American families and what makes a family portrait,” said Carlos Ricardo, head of print marketing, Americas for HP. “This made us think about the family photo and how the family itself has evolved.”

“When marketing and communications are most powerful, it holds up a mirror to our lives and reflects who we are and what is most important,” added Karen Kahn, HP’s chief communications officer. “And as marketers for a purpose-driven brand, we tackle the subjects that are meaningful to our most important audiences—employees, customers and partners.”

The spot, Family Portraits, is the latest in the brand’s ‘Reinvent Mindsets’ campaign that celebrates inclusion and highlights unconscious bias that affects both the corporate world and society at large. For several years, HP has publicly stated its position around diversity, championed by recently-departed CMO Antonio Lucio, and challenged their agencies and partners to improve their own workforces.

In addition to the film created by Edelman Digital, HP will release its extensive research project that revealed a bevy of surprising statistics.

Eighty percent of respondents, for example, agree that defining an “all-American family” is difficult due to the country’s diversity. Additionally, 68 percent of LGBTQ people categorize their families as all-American versus 58 percent who believe others would describe them in the same way.

One of the more telling stats indicated that one in three Americans would be nervous bringing home a partner of a different race and a full 50 percent say their family prefers that they date or marry someone of the same race or religion. Another revealed that one in three people have cut ties with a family member due to intolerance.

“The Reinvent Mindsets study findings reinforce that to connect with everyone, everywhere, we must strip away bias and stereotypes and celebrate our differences,” said Lesley Slaton-Brown, chief diversity officer at HP. “These findings show that regardless of age, race, gender, sexual orientation or country of origin, perceptions of ‘family’ are not in line with today’s reality.”

11995: Memo To Edelman—STFU.

The New York Times reported on the recent fuck-ups from PR shithole Edelman. The story—written by the typically polite advertising columnist Stuart Elliott—was hardly flattering. Makes one wonder who the hell is handling PR for the alleged public relations experts. Maybe Edelman should create a multimedia campaign to promote itself—like what bp did to counter the hate ignited by the Deepwater Horizon disaster. Or even like the propaganda Edelman shat out during the Rupert Murdoch scandal. Then again, maybe not. The problem is, the Edelman wonks in the NY Times story came off as if they were trying to be contrite; however, they didn’t sound sincere. Even worse, they didn’t appear to realize the full depth of their own ignorance. Edelman executives should be instructed to assume a fetal position under their desks and keep their fucking mouths shut—plus, please step away from the keyboard and stop publishing blog posts!

Edelman P.R. Firm Acts to Correct Faux Pas

By Stuart Elliott

A GIANT public relations agency that has been under fire for a couple of gaffes in the last couple of weeks says it is taking steps to try to make sure such blunders do not recur — the kinds of steps it would recommend to clients in the same predicaments.

“What the leadership team decided,” Ben Boyd, president for practices, sectors and offerings at Edelman in New York, said in an interview on Friday, is that “we will treat ourselves like we treat a client.”

“Lesson learned,” he added.

“Just because you advise clients on the complexities of today’s world, that doesn’t mean they’re easier to manage,” Mr. Boyd said, adding that “it would have been smart” to have had in place at Edelman some of the internal protocols and processes that the agency’s 5,000 employees suggest that clients adopt.

Edelman, the largest independent public relations firm in the world by revenue, found itself having to re-examine its procedures after two episodes that generated unwelcome media attention. The first involved the agency’s response to a survey of large public relations agencies, conducted by The Guardian and an organization called the Climate Investigations Center, about representing clients that deny climate change. The second incident, less fraught than the first, was centered on a blog post suggesting that the suicide of Robin Williams represented “an opportunity” for a national conversation about depression.

The Guardian, in an article on Aug. 4, reported that Edelman, unlike many of its competitors, “did not explicitly rule out taking on climate deniers as clients,” and included a sentence that read, “An initial response to C.I.C. from Edelman inadvertently included an internal email which said: ‘I don’t believe we are obligated in any way to respond. There are only wrong answers for this guy.’” The article was illustrated with what was described as a screen grab of the conversation inside Edelman showing that the email had been written by Mark Hass, who was at the time United States president and chief executive of Edelman. He left the agency last month.

The Guardian published a follow-up article on Aug. 7 reporting on a subsequent statement on the Edelman website in which the agency said it “fully recognizes the reality of and science behind climate change” and does not “accept client assignments that aim to deny climate change.”

Two related articles by Brian Merchant were on the Motherboard channel of Vice, one on Aug. 5 castigating Edelman and one on Tuesday about a telephone call from Richard Edelman, president and chief executive of Edelman, to Mr. Merchant, during which, Mr. Merchant wrote, Mr. Edelman told him that Edelman had “fired” Mr. Hass “in part because of that stupid note he wrote” and describing Mr. Hass as “the ham-head who filled out the questionnaire to be a little, uh, slick.” (Earlier, in a blog post, Mr. Edelman said that the agency “did a poor job of filling out” the questionnaire.)

That, in turn, brought online articles questioning Edelman from publications like O’Dwyer’s and PR Week because, when it was reported in April that Mr. Hass would leave the agency, his departure was described by Edelman as his stepping down rather than as a dismissal. “It wasn’t the best interview I’ve ever seen,” said Steve Barrett, editor in chief of PR Week, referring to Mr. Edelman’s conversation with Mr. Merchant. “It certainly wouldn’t be in line with the media training they give their clients.”

In an email statement on Friday, Mr. Edelman, who took issue with the first Motherboard article in his blog post, wrote this about the second article: “In a recent interview my intention was to simply clarify Edelman does not accept client assignments that deny climate change. I regret several of the remarks I made beyond that.” Mr. Hass could not be reached for comment.

“I don’t feel sorry for Edelman for mishandling” the questionnaire, said Kert Davies, executive director of the Climate Investigations Center in Washington, because inquiries about climate-change policies “have been posed multiple times for 20 years” to other companies in fields like energy, transportation and consumer products.

Although how Edelman handled the matter was “a bit of shooting one’s own feet,” Mr. Davies said, and cast shadows “on a firm that handles crisis communications” for others, “I’m not gloating.” He said, however, that he remained skeptical about Edelman’s eschewing of climate denial when the agency works for clients like the American Petroleum Institute. Mr. Barrett of PR Week estimated that 10 to 15 percent of “the business in the P.R. industry comes from energy companies.”

As for the blog post after Mr. Williams’s death, Mr. Barrett said he believed it “was written in good faith,” adding, “Personally, I don’t think it was a crass attempt to cash in on a tragedy.” The post described “a very careful line” that mental health professionals and people with depression “need to walk so as to not seem exploitive of a terrible situation” and added, in parentheses, “We too are balancing that line with this post.”

Mr. Boyd of Edelman said, “We should have been more thoughtful about the headline” — it read, “Carpe Diem,” quoting a line from the Williams film “Dead Poets Society” — “and about the timing of the post.”

The agency apologized in a post on its Twitter account. “We talk to clients about being nimble, about being engaged in real time,” Mr. Boyd said, but there ought to be “checks and balances in place” to address problems as they arise or prevent them from intensifying.

“We’ve already asked a team” inside Edelman “to look at issues, reputation management issues, that we as a firm have,” he added, and that examination will be “global in nature and across all our areas.”

11988: Edelman’s Opportunistic Bullshit.

Adweek reported PR shithole Edelman is facing heat over a blog post that called the death of Robin Williams “an opportunity.” Gawker already skewered the place for its corporate clumsiness and cluelessness, so there’s no need to pile more dung onto that particular heap. The fiasco does, however, present an opportunity to rip Edelman in a different way. In recent years, the PR giant has sought to position itself as a digital expert. It’s another sad example of every communications company—from traditional advertising agencies to shopper marketing firms—claiming to be an online guru. Anyone who has ever worked firsthand at Edelman can attest that the place is not qualified to reboot a laptop, let alone spark intelligent conversations on the World Wide Web. Hell, the joint can’t even produce print ads or PowerPoint presentations. Yet here is an Edelman executive vice president definitely demonstrating digital dumbness—and having the hubris to leave the offending post for all to see. Need additional proof that Edelman has no business labeling itself as digitally savvy? In 2011, they rated MultiCultClassics as impressively influential and admirably trusted. The PR wonks clearly don’t know what the fuck they’re talking about.

PR Giant Edelman Apologizes for Calling Robin Williams’ Death an ‘Opportunity’

But says blog post on sparking mental health discussion will remain live

By David Griner

Edelman is usually tapped with helping brands avoid or disentangle themselves from public backlash, but the global PR firm instead found itself in the hot seat this week.

At issue was a blog post from media relations strategy evp Lisa Kovitz, who said the suicide of comedian Robin Williams created a PR opportunity for groups advocating for better treatment of mental illness.

“As we mourn the loss of Robin Williams to depression, we must recognize it as an opportunity to engage in a national conversation,” she wrote. “His death yesterday created a carpe diem moment for mental health professionals and those people who have suffered with depression and want to make a point about the condition and the system that treats it.”

While she certainly has a point about such a high-profile tragedy bringing mental health and depression into the spotlight, quite a few readers found the post to be in poor taste.

Most of the backlash likely stemmed from Gawker’s writeup calling Edelman a “soulless PR conglomerate” using a celebrity’s suicide to promote its own expertise.

Asked by Adweek whether she regretted the phrasing or the intent of the blog post, Kovitz directed us to Edelman’s tweet of apology this morning:

Despite the company’s apology, Kovitz said the blog post “will remain live.”

Most critics of the post said they felt it was positioned as a sales message for the PR agency:

“Using someone’s death as an opportunity to position yourself as THE PR company to walk potential clients through the best way to benefit from this ‘conversation’ is callous,” said commenter Erin Blaskie, who shared her complaint with her 30,000 Twitter followers as well. “Instructing potential clients to pay your firm money to help them take advantage of this situation is gross. This isn’t a PR opportunity. This is someone’s life lost.”

11698: What The L—WTF.

The fucked-up pitch that awarded the Staples account to mcgarrybowen, Carat and Edelman has resulted in fucked-up advertising. “What the L” plays like a poor man’s “Ship My Pants.”

11163: Staples—That Was Not Easy.

Advertising Age reported on the Staples pitch where the client wound up mixing and matching agencies throughout the review. Ironically, Staples was allegedly “seeking greater collaboration from agency partners.” According to Ad Age, “In an unusual move, the company paired up a handful of agencies on its own and invited them to pitch in teams. Later in the process, it reworked the agency groups and asked its incumbent shops—which include Interpublic Group of Cos’ McCann, WPP’s MediaCom and Publicis Groupe’s Razorfish—to pitch as one team. In the final round, that group of incumbents competed with the Dentsu team.” For a brand known by its iconic “Easy Button,” Staples managed to complicate matters—and demonstrate that agencies will prostitute themselves without hesitation. Choosing The Three Stooges of mcgarrybowen, Carat and Edelman shows the client has low expectations and even lower standards of excellence. Hell, Staples should simply use its in-store Copy&Print services to produce the advertising.

Staples Consolidates Advertising with Dentsu-Owned Shops, Edelman

Retailer Spent $90 Million on Measured Media in 2012

By Alexandra Bruell and Natalie Zmuda

After a review launched earlier this year, Staples has selected Dentsu agencies to handle its North American marketing business.

The team includes McGarryBowen for integrated creative duties and Carat for media. Also on the roster will be independent giant Edelman for PR.

The selection follows Dentsu’s acquisition of Carat parent company Aegis and marks the first time Carat and McGarryBowen have won a piece of business together within the same holding company. Aegis’ IProspect, the incumbent on the search business, also helped pitch the account.

According to people familiar with the matter, Staples launched the review early this year seeking greater collaboration from agency partners. In an unusual move, the company paired up a handful of agencies on its own and invited them to pitch in teams. Later in the process, it reworked the agency groups and asked its incumbent shops—which include Interpublic Group of Cos’ McCann, WPP’s MediaCom and Publicis Groupe’s Razorfish—to pitch as one team. In the final round, that group of incumbents competed with the Dentsu team.

Agencies either couldn’t be immediately reached or declined to comment. Staples didn’t immediately respond to a request for comment.

Steven Fund, senior VP-global brand marketing, is understood to have led the search. He joined Staples in 2010 from Procter & Gamble, where he led the Gillette global business unit.

Santa Monica, California-basd consultancy Select Resources International managed the review. Despite the change, as recently as February, Staples said it was “pleased with the quality of work” from the incumbent agencies. The office retailer said its new strategic plan, launched in 2012 was the impetus for the search. “As part of this effort, we launched a new corporate vision,” a Staples spokeswoman said at the time. “In light of these changes, this is a perfect time to get new thinking on branding and advertising.”

Staples, which also owns B2B supplies brand Quill, spent $90.7 million on U.S. measured media in 2012, according to Kantar Media. That’s down from the $115.8 million it spent in 2011.

The company has struggled with competition from online and big box retailers in the commoditized office supply category. The retailer reported sales of $5.8 billion for the first quarter, a 3% decrease from a year ago. Profits fell 9%.

“We’re gaining momentum in many parts of our business,” said Ron Sargent, Staples’ CEO in a statement, following the disappointing earnings. “We’re driving growth online and in categories beyond core office supplies, and we look forward to building on our progress throughout 2013.”

Still, for the winners of the pitch it’s good news in a relatively dry new business year. It’s especially welcome for McGarryBowen, which has had some client losses and management changes in the past year.

In April, John McGarry III—the son of McGarryBowen founder and veteran adman John McGarry – announced his departure from the Dentsu-owned shop where he founded the digital practice. That news came a few months after co-founder Stewart Owen said he was retiring from the agency, and came one year after his father left day-to-day agency operations.

In January, the agency lost its Reebok account and late last year it lost a chunk of its Marriott business. Last summer, it parted with AB Inbev.

Carat, meanwhile, adds to its roster another win. Since picking up General Motors in early 2012, it has won Macy’s, Burberry, GoPro and PlayStation.

9015: Murdoch And Edelman Are Sorry.

Rupert Murdoch’s News of the World scandal prompted the publication of the advertisement above. Earlier reports indicated Edelman was recruited to service Murdoch’s News Corporation, so it’s likely the PR giant helped craft the moronic message.

Places like Edelman have become the ambulance chasers of the industry. Is your multibillion-dollar corporation responsible for an oil spill, factory explosion or product malfunction with high fatality figures? Have board members been publicly exposing their members? Is your CFO nicknamed “Benihana” for creatively cooking the books? We can help—and we’ll even throw in a few free tips for your blogging and Twitter strategies.

Not sure what compelled Murdoch to hire the PR firm. Surely the man’s media empire employs writers more skilled than the hacks at Edelman. Isn’t it common knowledge that most PR wonks chose their profession after failing to succeed as copywriters or journalists?

To demonstrate the point, consider this advertisement’s headline, “We are sorry.” The phrase can and will be read two ways:

1) We apologize.
2) We are pathetic.

And the public will probably prefer the second interpretation.

Sorry, but this confederacy of con artists just feels fundamentally flawed. If you’re caught doing something unethical and sleazy, don’t call in expert liars. It’s like Tommy Flanagan teaming up with Joe Isuzu—when the situation really demanded Fletcher Reed.

9010: MultiCultClassics—Influential & Trustworthy!

Edelman has created the latest scam breakthrough to address social media ineptitude. Bloglevel is “a nifty little measurement tool” designed to gauge the popularity of bloggers and Tweeters. Here are some of the results shat out for MultiCultClassics:

Your influence score — Your score is impressive and your blog is truly influential in your sector. Where focused conversations have become more important your blog has shown itself to be a leader. To improve your score try and address issues quickly so that people come to your site to understand how topical news is interpreted. Your site may not be TechCrunch but you are doing what it takes to be an important source of information in your field. Not only have you become an authoritative source of information, but recognised leading sites are listening and linking to what you say.

Your trust score — Congratulations – your trust score is something to be admired. The Edelman Trust Barometer states that 77% of people refused to buy products or services from a company they distrusted. It is trust that makes someone act — for this reason alone, having a high trust score is considered by many to be more important than any other category. One of the simplest measures of trust is if someone voluntarily listens to what you say or pushes other people to read what you have written. The number of subscribers you have and inbound links from Twitter and other sites make up a large weighting in deciding your trust score. Your posts are interesting, credible and informative and probably spread far around the world. Well done and keep it going.

How flattering. Or flatulence. First, “The Edelman Trust Barometer” is an oxymoron, as the word “trust” should never appear in the same sentence with the name of a PR firm.

Second, the canned results read like the writings of an amateur astrologist working with bag of stale fortune cookies and a Magic 8 Ball. Sorry, this blog knows better than to believe it’s influential in any sector. And again, what’s the value of having a trust score that wins the admiration of a PR firm?

Third, this gizmo is nothing more than a self-promotional piece of shit fabricated to fool idiots into thinking their social media strategies could be enhanced via the sage services of Edelman. Um, save yourself some money by asking your 13-year-old nephew for advice about Twitter and Facebook instead.

Finally, Edelman’s digital expertise is nothing more than, well, PR.

6406: PR Firm Should Work On Its Hype.

When did Edelman start believing it could do more than type press releases? The job listing below seeks a Presentation Director/PowerPoint Design Guru! First of all, PowerPoint Design Guru is an oxymoron. And only a PR wonk would see the need for a dedicated staffer to produce meeting decks. A quick peek at the Edelman website clearly shows the problem is not with design, but rather, with content. There’s too much of it—and none of it is even remotely interesting. Hell, the job listing continues the tendency towards loads of noise sans style or substance.

Presentation Director/PowerPoint Design Guru!

Description:
Communications leader, Edelman, is looking for a high impact presentation expert to round out our award-winning design team in the US! We are looking for a talented presentation director to join our Creative team to revolutionize high end presentations, intertwine our corporate strategy in this medium, and lead a team of innovative specialists across the US.

We are seeking someone who excels at brand development and possesses the innate ability to take creative concepts from conception to reality. This person must thrive on the challenge of developing a continuous stream of fresh design ideas for some of the world’s largest brands. If you’re creative, organized, and can flourish in an energetic, fast-paced entrepreneurial environment, this could be the position for you!

Qualifications and Responsibilities of the Presentation Director
This person will be responsible for managing a team of presentation specialists focused primarily on design of top tier clients and new business presentations – continually striving to take the medium to the next level. The ideal candidate will have experience working closely with art directors, agency creative planners and account teams to create high-end presentations. Ideal candidate should have experience with traditional print such as designing ads, print collateral, web site design and video production. The candidate responsibilities and qualifications should include:

•First and foremost an expert, power user and creative designer in PowerPoint
•Second, the ability to translate the established design into other formats including Microsoft Word
•Experience with establishing brand identity for new or emerging brands
•An energetic and compelling presentation style – comfortable in group settings with top notch presentation skills
•Experience using Adobe Photoshop, InDesign and Illustrator
•7 to 10 years’ design experience
•Show consistent initiative and takes ownership of projects – showing excellent judgment when working with team member, client contact, and vendors
•Experience managing/art directing a dynamic staff
•Ability to prioritize and manage work, adhering to critical project timelines in a fast-paced environment
•Able to create templates and automate system processes, as well as lead presentation trainings, as required
•Knowledge of Adobe flash and with animation/motion graphics (Adobe After Effects) a bonus
•Experience creating web design, interactive, HTML programming, animation and 3d modeling and any other high-end presentation programs an added bonus
•The ideal candidate will have a BFA in Graphic Design or related creative medium and have strong typographic design