Thursday, November 02, 2006

Essay 1277


Late-breaking nonsense in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• In 2004 Barack Obama’s political campaign included lurid sex charges involving a Hollywood hottie. Fortunately for Obama, the scandalous affairs belonged to opponent Jack Ryan and ex-wife Jeri (pictured above). Republican Ryan dropped out of the Senate race when details of his nasty divorce surfaced — including accusations that he tried to persuade his wife to get busy with strangers in European sex clubs. Ms. Ryan is currently appearing in the latest issue of FHM, which inspired this news item.

• Chicago alderwoman Dorothy Tillman wants to put the brakes on plans to privatize certain city parking facilities because it would involve doing business with Morgan Stanley Investment Management — a corporation with ties to slavery. Tillman has fiercely opposed associating with any company with slave trade episodes in its history. In Morgan Stanley’s case, Tillman insists the corporation lied when originally asked about its past. “J.P. Morgan would be nothing if it was not for Black folks. And they’re going to come here and pee in our face and tell us it’s raining? … Now, they got on suits and they think they can still step on Black folks 400 years later — and I say no,” declared Tillman. Maybe we should refer to the company as J. Pee Morgan.

• Tyra Banks’ latest stunt involved masquerading as a male rapper named Uncle Don. “I actually had a suit thing that went over me that made me have pecs and, like, a six-pack,” said Banks. Given the drama that often accompanies rappers, the suit hopefully included a bulletproof vest.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What a joke. Remember when Ms. Ryan was totally in shock that her husband would ask her to do that, playing to all the cameras?

Guess she got over her shock, tastefully of course.