8965: Crude Commentary.

A Manic Monday MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Exxon is scrambling to deal with its latest oil spill in Montana, which has dumped crude into Yellowstone River. Um, isn’t the oil company still cleaning up the Exxon Valdez mess created in 1989? The folks at BP must be happy to see a rival taking the spotlight off the Deepwater Horizon disaster, allowing them to launch a new advertising campaign. Oily is the perfect descriptor for all of these assholes.

• A new survey from Consumer Reports named Mickey D’s the worst fast-food burger joint in America. Others making the lousiest list included KFC, Taco Bell, Domino’s Pizza and Quiznos. Yet the Golden Arches continues to enjoy billions in sales despite the undisputed awfulness. It’s either an indication of consumers’ willingness to accept mediocrity or the evil persuasive powers of Ronald McDonald.

• Hackers commandeered the Twitter account of FOX News, sending out fake tweets about President Obama. “Hackers sent out several malicious and false tweets that President Obama had been assassinated,” said the media outlet. “The hacking is being investigated, and FoxNews.com regrets any distress the false tweets may have created.” Actually, FOX News usually creates more distress with its real tweets and perspectives delivered by the hacks running the network.