Showing posts with label david paterson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label david paterson. Show all posts

Monday, December 20, 2010

8275: Loser, Loser, Loser.


A Monday Night MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Jermaine Jackson filed a police report claiming his home was robbed of nearly $200,000 worth of stuff. Jackson said he returned from vacation in mid-September with a Louis Vuitton bag full of personal bling and goodies. He didn’t immediately unpack, and later discovered the bag and its contents were missing. Not sure what’s sadder—Jermaine Jackson allegedly getting ripped off or Jermaine Jackson vacationing with $200,000 worth of stuff.

• Hot 97 DJ Cipha Sounds is in hot water after delivering the line, “The reason I’m HIV negative is because I don’t mess with Haitian girls.” The remark pissed off New York City leaders and the Haitian community, with everyone calling for the DJ’s firing. The popular personality later apologized and admitted, “I made a stupid, tasteless joke that was a one-liner that was taken totally the wrong way.” Um, what’s the right way the one-liner should have been taken?

• New York Governor David Paterson is now paying—literally and figuratively—for five free 2009 World Series tickets he accepted. The state Public Integrity Commission pitched a $62,125 fine at Paterson. Damn, it might have been cheaper if Paterson had worked with a scalper instead.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

8258: New York Blackout.


New York, New York in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• During an interview with Don Imus, New York Governor David Paterson remarked he had no idea former Governor Eliot Spitzer was into hookers. “None at all. None, “ answered Paterson when asked if he had any clues regarding Spitzer’s hobby. Paterson was likely too distracted handling his own extramarital affairs to notice.

• A new report shows Black New Yorkers are harder hit by long-term unemployment than other racial and ethnic groups. However, the unemployment rate for Blacks working on Madison Avenue isn’t too bad—but only because there are so few Blacks employed on Madison Avenue to begin with.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

7549: Going Out.


Career changes in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Desiree Rogers resigned from her position as White House social secretary. Wonder if Tareq and Michaela Salahi will crash Rogers’ farewell party.

• New York Governor David Paterson ended his candidacy for re-election, and now must deal with an awkward 10 months remaining in his current term. Even the Salahis won’t be appearing at any Paterson parties.

• Gary Coleman suffered an apparent seizure while on the set of “The Insider.” Let’s hope he can cover the medical expenses with CashCall.

• Michael Jordan is plotting to buy the Charlotte Bobcats. MJ will likely not need assistance from CashCall.

Monday, May 04, 2009

6710: Polls And Politics (Prostitutes Too).


Odd opinions in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• A new poll indicates New Yorkers would prefer having Eliot Spitzer back as governor versus his successor, David Paterson. No word if people would also prefer to see Ashley Dupré as the first lady in the governor’s mansion.

• Rev. Jesse Jackson thinks the NAACP should act to help the struggling auto industry. This would mean helping the companies that cut spending with minority-owned advertising agencies, right?

• Discount retailer Filene’s Basement has “filened” for bankruptcy.

Friday, May 01, 2009

6703: Unsettling News.


Settlements and setbacks in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• New York Governor David Paterson cost taxpayers $300,000, as the state quietly settled a racial-discrimination lawsuit charging Paterson fired a White Senate photographer to replace him with a Black photographer. The alleged act took place in 2003 when Paterson was Senate minority leader. Gee, Paterson sometimes makes his predecessor, Eliot Spitzer, look like a Boy Scout.

• Under Armour Inc. is recalling over 200,000 athletic cups, citing the protective devices can break when hit, potentially causing serious injury. Exactly how do these things get safety-tested to begin with? The company probably employs ex-CIA personnel with torture expertise—or dominatrixes.

• The CEO of Monster.com saw his compensation decline 37 percent in 2008. Granted, he still collected $8.2 million, so it’s not like he’ll be trolling his company’s job listings anytime soon.

Monday, December 15, 2008

6255: Impaired Visions.


Political commentary in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• New York Governor David Paterson took offense to a Saturday Night Live skit that made light of his blindness. “I can take a joke,” said Paterson to reporters. But he called the piece a “third-grade depiction of people and the way they look” that could lead people to think that “disability goes hand-in-hand with an inability to run a government or business.” Oh, former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich seem to demonstrate quite clearly that an inability to run a government rarely stems from disability.

• A Georgia state senator ignited controversy by introducing a plan to merge historically Black colleges with predominately White institutions. Senator Seth Harp initially suggested the move for financial reasons, but added, “We really need to close the chapter of segregated schools and create a unified system.” Wonder how this guy would respond to the segregated agencies in the advertising industry.

Friday, July 18, 2008

5721: Even Legally Blind See We’re Not Colorblind.


From The New York Times…

Paterson, at N.A.A.C.P., Warns of Racism’s Power

By Jeremy W. Peters

CINCINNATI — David A. Paterson, in his first major speech to a national audience since becoming governor of New York, said on Thursday that even as black Americans rejoice about the possibility that Senator Barack Obama could become president, they cannot lose sight of the serious social and economic ills that plague their community and should remain mindful of the racism that still exists.

“The gap between the haves and have-nots right in our own community is wider than it has ever been before,” Mr. Paterson told a crowd of thousands at the N.A.A.C.P.’s annual convention here.

“No matter how prosperous we are, no matter how well heeled we may be, no matter how ambitious and successful we have been, we still can be cast under the same net regardless of our circumstances.”

Mr. Paterson, who is New York’s first black governor and only the third black man since Reconstruction to lead a state, addressed the convention as the intersection between race and politics in the United States appears especially fraught. Recent polls have shown that whites and blacks hold very different views of Mr. Obama, and that despite the senator’s candidacy, blacks do not believe that race relations have significantly improved.

Addressing those fissures in his speech, the governor said that he was not sure whether Americans would be able to put their differences aside in this election and support Mr. Obama.

“Can America reject the crucible of race that has dictated and pervaded all of our history to embrace an African-American man who has the right policies?” he said. “We will find out.”

[Read the full story here.]

Saturday, May 24, 2008

5509: Begging Your Pardon.


Passing judgments in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• New York Governor David Paterson granted a full and unconditional pardon to Slick Rick. The rap icon had been facing the threat of deportation. “[Slick Rick] has fully served the sentence imposed upon him for his convictions, had an exemplary disciplinary record while in prison and on parole, and has been living without incident in the community for more than 10 years,” said Paterson. “I urge federal immigration officials to once again grant Mr. Walters relief from deportation, so that he is not separated from his many family members who are United States citizens, including his two teenage children.” No word if Paterson will also pardon Slick Eliot Spitzer.

• Lawyers for R. Kelly are allegedly seeking to have witnesses charged with crimes. The details are fuzzy, but speculations include wanting to charge anyone who possessed a copy of the infamous tape with child pornography—which would include a Chicago Sun-Times reporter who received a copy anonymously in 2002 and turned it over to police. The defense will also probably ask New York Governor David Paterson for a full and unconditional pardon.

Friday, May 16, 2008

5480: No Noose Is Good Noose.


Hanging out with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• New York has officially outlawed displaying nooses as threats, as Governor David Paterson signed a new law on Thursday. “It is sad that in these modern times there remains a need to address the problem of individuals who use nooses as a means of threat and intimidation,” stated Paterson. “But it is a reality, and if we ignore it we would be derelict in our duty.” Start spreading the noose.

• JC Penney saw its 1Q profits drop 50 percent. “It is obviously a very difficult time for all U.S. consumers,” said the retailer’s chairman and chief executive. “They’re facing uncertainty in their financial well-being.” Plus, they think JC Penney sucks.

• The jury is complete for the R. Kelly child-pornography trial, with the final group comprised of 8 men and 4 women—of which 8 are White and 4 are Black. Kelly’s lawyers argued about the numbers, charging the prosecutors with deliberately removing Black jurors. The prosecutors shot back that Kelly’s lawyers had nixed potential White jurors. Latinos, Asian Americans and Native Americans will probably hold a protest soon.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

5283: Facing Rejection.


State of Affairs in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Hillary Clinton said she would have rejected Rev. Jeremiah Wright Jr. as her pastor based on the comments she’s seen from him. But she’s totally cool with her philandering hubby. Plus, she would have repelled the bullets if a sniper had fired at her in Bosnia.

• Now reports indicate New York Governor David Paterson traveled with one of his mistresses to campaign for Clinton in Iowa last November. Hillary and Bill Clinton see no reason to reject Paterson over the matter. In fact, Bill probably supports the entire affair.

• A federal judge approved a $24 million settlement plan from Walgreens to cover a lawsuit charging racial bias at the drugstore chain. Thousands of Black employees argued the company discriminated against them in hiring and assignment decisions. And a few have probably had an affair with New York Governor David Paterson.

• Ford Motor Company sold Jaguar and Land Rover to India’s Tata Motors. Ta ta!

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

5278: Bullet-Proof?


Quick Shots in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The lawyer for Remy Ma argued in court that his client did not own the gun used to shoot a woman in the stomach; plus, the gun went off by accident. The opposing lawyer countered that the rapper did all the stuff necessary to intentionally shoot, including loading the pistol with hollow-point bullets, racking the slide, aiming at the victim and squeezing the trigger. Looks like the CSI:NY team won’t be needed to solve this caper.

• Now New York Governor David Paterson admits he used pot and cocaine in his 20s. At this point, the man has done everything except shoot people with Remy Ma.

• Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was charged with perjury and other misdeeds on Monday; however, he refuses to step down. Kilpatrick announced, “I look forward to complete exoneration once all the facts have been brought forth. I will remain focused on moving this city forward.” Kilpatrick’s next moves include campaigning to become the Governor of New York.

• Clinton advisor James Carville refused to apologize for comparing Governor Bill Richardson to Judas. Speaking to The New York Times after Richardson endorsed Barack Obama, Carville quipped, “Mr. Richardson’s endorsement came right around the anniversary of the day when Judas sold out (Jesus) for 30 pieces of silver, so I think the timing is appropriate, if ironic.” Jesus probably denies knowing any of these fools. Judas too.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

5265: Bouquets And Brickbats.


Sending love in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• New York Governor David Paterson continues to be scrutinized over his use of campaign funds, with the latest reports showing he spent over $5,000 from his election loot on flowers via 1-800-FLOWERS. Between Days Inn, the Men’s Wearhouse and 1-800-FLOWERS, it looks like Paterson is lining up a slew of endorsement deals.

• The New York Post reported the members of the Jackson family are just scraping by. Marlon stocks groceries at a San Diego Vons supermarket. Randy fixes cars in a Los Angeles garage. Jermaine leads a nomadic lifestyle, alternately bunking with a girlfriend and his parents. Jackie is struggling to manage his son’s music career. Tito is still in the music biz, but only collecting $500-$1500 for gigs. The clan is allegedly in a funk. Maybe David Paterson can send them a Pick-Me-Up bouquet.

• A worker at the infamous slaughterhouse that ignited the largest beef recall in U.S. history has been sentenced to six months in jail. “The public sympathy wasn’t going to be on his side,” said the worker’s lawyer. “This was the best possible outcome.” Hey, the guy’s still doing better than the former Jackson Five.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

5260: State And City News.


A guarantee-filled MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• The New York Daily News reported that New York Governor David Paterson did use campaign funds for personal expenses, although he reimbursed his campaign—but a few of the reimbursements happened this week after the news surfaced. The charges included over $1,000 spent in 2004 at the Men’s Wearhouse. George Zimmer would probably insist he’s unaware of any wrongdoing and declare, “You’re going to like the way you look—I guarantee it.”

• Circuit City is getting booted off the Standard & Poor’s 500 index, as the retailer is expected to report 4Q losses next month. The electronics seller has failed to produce a quarterly profit since August 2006. George Zimmer would probably tell Circuit City accountants, “You’re not going to like the way you look—I guarantee it.”

Thursday, March 20, 2008

5252: Service With A Smile.


Daily Serving of Nonsense in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Now New York Governor David Paterson admits he may have improperly used campaign funds to pay for a tryst with an ex-girlfriend, listing the expenditure as “constituent services.” Wonder how former Governor Eliot Spitzer labeled his encounters in expense reports.

• A new study shows a happy marriage can lead to good blood pressure. Has anyone conducted blood pressure checks for former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer and Governor David Paterson?

• Hold off on ordering the Girls Gone Wild video featuring Spitzer’s girlfriend Ashley Dupré. Seems the lass was only 17 when the original taping took place. Dupré’s lawyer said, “It was because she was underage that [Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis] sent her home on a Greyhound bus back to North Carolina. It would be outrageous at the very least to play the video of an underage female on the Internet.” Oh, heaven forbid.

• Delta Air Lines plans to offer voluntary severance payouts to 30,000 employees—over half of its total work force. Which means that passengers will have significantly fewer idiots to complain to about the lousy service.

• The Rev. Al Sharpton wants the NFL to cancel its Hall of Fame game scheduled to take place in Ohio on August 3—in order to protest the alleged police misconduct in Canton. The game is slated to pit the Indianapolis Colts against the Washington Redskins. Actually, it might be more interesting to pit the NFL players against the violent and bruising Canton cops.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

5241: Sex, Lies And, Well, More Sex And Lies.


National affairs in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• New New York Governor David Paterson admitted he’s had affairs, including an illicit relationship that lasted for years. Plus, his wife confessed she had affairs as well. However, it appears that neither used high-priced hookers and fancy hotels, settling for the standard coworkers and friends at a local Days Inn. Well, at least the man is demonstrating fiscal responsibility.

• Diddy has once again been tied to the murder of Tupac Shakur, with an FBI informant claiming two of Diddy’s pals planned the deed. The Los Angeles Times published an FBI report connecting Diddy’s associates to the murder. “The story is a lie,” said Diddy. “It is beyond ridiculous and completely false. Neither [B.I.G.] nor I had any knowledge of any attack before, during or after it happened. … I am shocked that the Los Angeles Times would be so irresponsible as to publish such a baseless and completely untrue story.” Hey, nobody cares if Diddy killed Tupac. The big question is: Has Diddy had any affairs?

Saturday, March 15, 2008

5226: Movin’ On Up.


From Newsday.com…

Black leaders welcome Paterson’s historic role

BY MICHAEL AMON

Lt. Gov. David Paterson’s ascension to the governor’s mansion — the first time an African-American will lead New York — was greeted by black leaders yesterday with enthusiasm, pride and joy.

“It is a milestone, and it is historic,” said Rep. Gregory Meeks (D- Far Rockaway). “It looks as though we’re making some headway. Some ceilings are being removed.”

It didn’t happen the way black leaders or Paterson hoped, with the resignation of Eliot Spitzer, whom black voters supported overwhelmingly in 2006.

Nevertheless, Paterson will be only the fourth black governor in United States history. His unexpected promotion comes with the success of presidential candidate Sen. Barack Obama — providing hope, some said, that barriers to political power were being broken down permanently.

“The nation is maturing, overcoming race trauma,” said the Rev. Jesse Jackson. “It indicates a new day of possibilities for the American dream to be realized.”

Paterson remains in rarefied company. He joins Massachusetts Gov. Deval Patrick, a Democrat, as the only sitting black governors. The only black governor of the 20th century was Douglas Wilder, the Virginia Democrat, who served from 1990 to 1994.

It was back in 1872 when the first black governor, Pinckney Benton Stewart Pinchback, a Republican from Louisiana, was sworn into office. He served for 36 days after a sitting governor was impeached and removed from office.

Paterson has blazed a trail in New York politics. He was the first black lieutenant governor and the first African-American to assume a New York legislative leadership post as minority leader in 2002. He is also the first legally blind person to accomplish those feats.

Paterson has championed a number of issues with appeal beyond his base in Harlem, including alternative energy projects and stem cell research. And to Rener Reed, civil rights activists from Lakeview, those issues resonate with black New Yorkers.

“The issues that affect black people affect all people,” Reed said. “We want jobs, we want an education, we want housing. We want just what everyone else wants, nothing different.”

Still, Paterson has been a strong supporter of traditional civil rights issues. As lieutenant governor, he worked to steer more state contracts to minority-owned businesses and in 2002, he helped Nassau’s black leaders in an unsuccessful effort to create a majority-minority state senate district.

“There’s a feeling that David will spend some of his resources and some of his time trying to address some of those issues as governor,” said Nassau Legis. Kevan Abrahams (D-Hempstead), who said many blacks feel a “prideful joy” for Paterson.

But now Paterson must juggle the conflicting desires of many constituencies, Abrahams said. “He’s going to have to address all needs: black, white, brown and yellow.”