9200: What Adpeople Really Don’t Want To Do.

The NIVEA fiasco inspired roving Advertising Age columnist Bob Garfield to propose a new enterprise called the You Probably Don’t Want To Do That Practice. Garfield explained:

I refer to the You Probably Don’t Want to Do That industry — the practice of protecting advertisers from incalculable damage to their brands because management is too a) buried in the creative bunker; b) buffaloed by their agencies; and/or c) dense to see the catastrophe gathering just above them. A nice part of my livelihood resides there, a fact that is happy for me but otherwise simply pitiful.

Not sure Garfield is best qualified to handle such a task. Sure, he’s got experience and familiarity with the ad game. But Garfield has occasionally demonstrated oversensitivity. He saw racist undertones when American Idol judge Randy Jackson hawked Oreos. And Garfield cried homophobia over a series of Omnicom commercials including Mr. T shooting Snickers at a speed walker.

Besides, there is a simpler solution that Madison Avenue has failed to execute for over 60 years: Create advertising agencies where the majority of the workers are not culturally clueless White men.

Adpeople with hiring authority, however, probably don’t want to do that.