Sunday, July 20, 2008

5725: Assorted Bull.

Sunday brunch with a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Merrill Lynch reported 2Q losses at $4.65 billion, bringing the company’s grand total loss to $19 billion in the past year. Merrill Lynch tells consumers there are always smart places for your money. Wonder if the places include Merrill Lynch.

• Florida took the dubious distinction of being the state to lose the most jobs over the past year, dumping 78,100 positions. Wish someone would up the total to 78,101 by axing CSI: Miami star David Caruso.

• DMX was busted again, this time for giving a fake name to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona to avoid paying a $7,500 bill last April. “He’s back in jail again,” said the local sheriff. “I don’t know why judges keep letting this guy out. Every time he goes in there, he gets out on bond.” Better make sure he signs the right name on his release papers.

• As scheduled, Pope Benedict XVI apologized on Saturday for the sexual crimes committed against children by Australia’s Roman Catholic clergy. “I am deeply sorry for the pain and suffering the victims have endured and I assure them as their pastor that I too share in their suffering,” said Benedict. The pope expressed similar regret in the U.S. last April. On Sunday, the pope called on young people to spurn materialism by declaring, “In so many of our societies, side by side with material prosperity, a spiritual desert is spreading: an interior emptiness, an unnamed fear, a quiet sense of despair.” Um, maybe the youth fear and despair has to do with encounters with Roman Catholic clergy.

• Brazil’s foreign minister sparked controversy during WTO meetings by declaring rich countries’ deception in trade talks were reminiscent of tactics employed by Nazi propaganda chief Joseph Goebbels. Hey, nothing speeds up international negotiations like Nazi references.

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