Thursday, January 24, 2008

5027: Coffee Breaks, Legal Breaks, Hit The Brakes.

Bitter grinding in a MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Starbucks is charging a buck and offering free refills in test markets to combat competition from value-driven rivals. The special price is roughly 50 cents less than the regular cost. Wonder if the wild animals in those lame Starbucks commercials will feel offended upon receiving a cheaper gift.

• Busta Rhymes got a sweet deal for pleading guilty to assaulting a former driver and a fan in separate punching incidents. The artist received three years’ probation and 10 days of community service. Plus, he’ll pay about $1,500 for driving while intoxicated with a suspended license. “I just wanted to say that I’m very grateful to the judge. I am very grateful to the system. I believe in the system,” said Rhymes. “It hasn’t failed me personally yet.” Seems like Rhymes beat two people and the system.

• Wesley Snipes may not fare as well as Busta Rhymes. The actor’s tax-evasion trial featured the reading of a letter Snipes sent the IRS in 2006. In the 600-page document, Snipes declared he was a “nonresident alien” and the IRS tricks folks to “terrorize, enslave, rape or pillage” taxpayers. Snipes also warned the government’s “illegal collection action” would lead to “significant personal liability” for the involved officials. Unless the actor can convince the court he actually accidentally sent the script for an upcoming Blade sequel, his next legal tactics are pretty clear: Immediately hire the attorneys for Busta Rhymes and R. Kelly—then use his vampire powers to resurrect the late Johnnie Cochran.

• NFL icon Jim Brown criticized Tiger Woods for not speaking out faster and more forcefully in response to the infamous Kelly Tilghman “lynch” remark. Brown said, “He waited until it was politically correct to come out and he should have come out right away.” Maybe Woods was waiting for Snipes to draft him a 600-page commentary.

• General Motors maintained its sales leadership over Toyota by a measly 3,000 cars in 2007. GM did, however, completely dominate Toyota in the “disrespecting-minority-advertising-agencies” category.

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