Saturday, January 31, 2009

6386: Classic Blunders.

A refreshing MultiCultClassics Monologue…

• Coca-Cola is dropping the Classic from its name, which was originally introduced in 1985 after the classic marketing blunder that changed the soda’s iconic formula. A company spokesman explained, “When people think Coke, they think classic, so more than two decades after introducing the word classic, the reason for being—quote unquote—for that word as a descriptor has disappeared.” Unless they’re cocaine addicts, in which case thinking Coke results in other types of responses.

• More hotties are suing Hawaiian Tropic Zone. A class-action lawsuit by four former employees charge the women were sexually assaulted, groped and subjected to a hostile workplace. The joint sounds like such a war zone, they ought to change its name to Tropic Thunder.

• It was a rough week for U.S. workers, as corporations cut over 100,000 jobs. “There’s no reason to anticipate a hiring frenzy any time soon,” said the director of economic research at Argus Research. “Labor usually accounts for about 75% of a company’s costs, and if the outlook remains bleak, they slash jobs. There is no reason to believe this trend will stop any time soon.” So much for the old cliché that a company’s most important assets are its people.

• There’s a rumor that Dell might introduce a cell phone. The company will probably use the device to terminate Enfatico via text.

• The United States Postal Service is considering reducing the number of days it delivers mail. Neither snow, nor rain, nor gloom of night can trump a shitty economy.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

"A company's most important assets are its people." And when thing get bad, some companies divest themselves of assets. It still works, if you're cold enough to tolerate treating people like furniture.